You've joined us again for our sex worker interview series, 'A Tryst With...' For this instalment, we're joined by New York Dominatrix Domina Delphi to discuss community nourishment, fashion, and Dionysian energy.
Can you tell us your “origin story” as a sex worker?
My first ever session was with a cock and ball torture (CBT) enthusiast. It was great for me since he came with ALL sorts of accoutrements. Humblers, crushers, clamps, predicament toys—all the mean bits-and-bobs were at my disposal solely for the ruin of this man's balls. Luckily, I knew enough about anatomy to keep him safe. At the midpoint of our session, I excused myself to the restroom, saw that my pupils had taken over my eyes, and knew this was meant for me. The high was intense. It quieted my mind in a way I hadn’t experienced before with another person.
What’s an aspect of being a sex worker that you really love?
I learned so much upon entering this profession thanks to the help of other Dommes and workers. Our community nourishes each other. It’s kind of hard to put into words how deep the camaraderie runs. It’s amazing.
I also really love the self-expression I have available to me with fashion. Those that know me, know I am a panty fetishist. When it comes to my sissy sluts, matching their lingerie to mine or having them in personalized embroidered panties lets them serve as a vehicle or muse for my fashion tastes.
Are there any providers in particular that you look up to, or who inspire you? Can you tell us a little about them?
I had a truly great mentor—Mistrix Sunmi. She fostered my creativity and pushed me deeper into introspection. We are able to build these sexy and dynamic scenes together because of our stylistic differences. For example, I have a side of me that’s Mommy energy, she has Daddy energy all the way.
Her technique is sharp because she continuously learns and chooses to refine her skills. She’s shown me there are always skills to be building upon regardless of what stage you are in your journey.
Beyond my mentorship, I take classes from my peers as much as possible. I’m fortunate to live in a city among unique and talented BDSM practitioners.
Do you find that there is a type of client who seeks you out, who you really enjoy seeing?
Ooo. Well, I do enjoy the quintessential “good boy”. My standards are strict, but I’m clear in my instruction. A good boy/girl/gnc submissive will come in earnest. When you respect my protocol, that demonstrates you’re serious about your own desires as well. This in turn makes me want to take you through an unforgettable experience. I love sub training, growing in dynamic, and aspects of lifestyle D/s. When we’re together, my attention is pointed and being with a Domme is always a gift. Treat it as such.
Where do you draw inspiration from in your BDSM practice?
Recently, I’ve been stuck on this photoset by a Malian photographer, Seydou Keïta. Women are lounging comfortably and donning gorgeous patterns and jewelry while looking boldly at the camera lens. There’s this languid unapologetic regalness about them. I imagine these Black women being waited on, having their tea poured, and I can’t help but smile. I’ve daydreamed about hosting a FemDom tea party since seeing this exhibit.
What is your ideal session?
Arranging the room or dungeon to my preference matters. I want to have the toys or tools in view that excite me most. Conversations I have with a submissive beforehand include safety and what to expect; this prepares us for a hot session.
Then I’m freed up to play how I want, lull my submissive into subspace, and keep them there.
You’ve mentioned being in your “Dionysian era”. How does this relate to how you play?
Yesss. What first was a joke became an energy I started to channel in sessions. If Dionysus can bring people to a heightened, ecstatic place with the help of libations, then I want to bring people to this transcendental place instead through BDSM. To have an uninhibited space where my submissives are comfortable enough to surrender is more than fulfilling. No fear of judgement. You come into dungeon time and leave everything at the door. You’re 100 percent mine for the time being.
That abandonment of social niceties going into playtime is what makes it a release for me too. So, I started to see dungeon time as the setting where this Dionysian energy can come forward.
What is one of your everyday pleasures?
Putting my phone away and sharing food with friends.
My favourite album is: Too many to type out! Right now: Big Calm by Morcheeba. No skips.
I’m weirdly attracted to: Type A anal-retentive personality types.
The way for a client to win me over is: attentiveness.
A historical figure I find inspiring is: singer Betty Davis.
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