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How to Introduce Taboo Kinks to Your Partner

How to Introduce Taboo Kinks to Your Partner

. 5 min read

I’m sure you have heard over and over that communication is key. Yes, but how does one communicate? Word vomit and hope that your partner loves to clean up the mess? I mean if they do, lucky you. More likely than not, everyone loves to be seduced. A certain elegance to the words uttered between those juicy lips. Perfectly articulated thoughts that leave an individual wanting more and ever so curious. This is useful in everyday life as you go around seducing everyone but use this tactfully as you bring up something of a unique manner, a sensitive subject so impermissible that makes you crave it all the more. Let’s go over how to successfully broach the subject matter and perhaps have it lead to trying it out. Keep in mind that this process works for any subject matter or kinks, not just taboo kinks.

Before we get started, let’s go over what taboo kinks are. Would you consider any of the following taboo?

·         Knife play – dragging a knife over someone’s body.

·         Klismaphilia – finding enemas arousing.

·         Pregnancy – arousal by pregnant people.

·         Somnophilia – arousal from a person who is asleep or unconscious.

·         Urophilia – aka golden shower or water sports.

·         Emetophilia – attraction to vomit.

·         Necrophilia – arousal by sexual contact with a corpse.

·         Zoophilia – bestiality with an emotional investment with the animal.

·         Religious play – corruption of an institution deemed sacred with profanity of sex.

Some are so taboo I can’t even list them here. Do any of the above taboo kinks pique your interest?

Step 1 – Taboo Kink Research

If you are approaching someone with the hopes of them partaking in such a taboo kink, do your research. If the individual knows nothing of the taboo kink itself, there are sure to be plenty of questions rushing through their mind. And since you are an individual who has breached their mind with such filth, you must deal with the flood of questions. The more you know about the taboo kink, the better you will be at easing and soothing any prickly concerns. After all it is your taboo kink so you should be informed enough to make your own judgements and opinions. Even if you have not tried it yet, know your own standpoint on it. Otherwise it will be a swaying boat with both individuals avoiding taking the wheel quickly becoming a sinking ship. Your partner may even look at you as an expert in this field, so put on a white coat and glasses and play the role.

Step 2 – Timing the Taboo Kinks

Timing is key to any success. People like to say they are lucky instead of acknowledging the amount of effort and patience that was put into the perfect timing. As a taboo kink, it will be a discussion that requires energy from both parties. Be sure both you and your partner are coherent and of sound mind to ask freely whatever questions there may be. Are you both in a stable place to bring in something out of the ordinary? Are you both curious and looking to try something new? Have you both had your morning coffee? Or are you both tired and arguing? If you want this to succeed, you want to give it the best possible opportunity to grow. Like any garden you grow, be sure you plant the seed at the right time and water it. You will reap the fruits of your labor later.

Step 3 – Speaking of Taboo Kinks

Take your time to craft this part up. Now that you’ve done your research and know how you would like to interact with such a topic, formulate your approach to it. Better yet, try it out in the mirror. If you can cooly and calmly discuss it with yourself in the mirror, you’re off to a great start. The way you bring it up matters immensely. If you are shy and timid about the taboo kink it prefaces and projects these same emotions up within your partner. If you are overly excited, depending on your partner it may overwhelm them and scare them off; where they weren’t given time to process what was just presented to them. Be confident, be calm and speak clearly of the taboo kink.

Step 3 – Incorporating Taboo Kinks

How does this taboo kink relate to your partner? Sure, sure it is something that you want, but in order for two to tango – think, how does it fit in with your partner? Do you know their kinks? Offer up some ways in which you can use it to highlight other types of kinks that you are already dabbling in. Instead of making it the sole focus and going into the deep end, try dipping your toes in and including it into what you already do. Now it’s no longer so crazy and out of the norm – if it feels good you can both explore it some more. If it didn’t, pivot the scene and do other things that are enjoyable to you both. After the scene, discuss openly what aspects worked and what didn’t.

Step 4 – Reality vs. Fantasy Taboo Kinks

Now that you’ve both waded in some dark waters together and experienced your own version of what this taboo kink entails. Sit with it. Reflect on it both together and individually. Remember that your fantasy of it is going to be different from the reality of it. It’s as if reading a book and watching a movie based off of the book. Everyone’s interpretation is their own. Some taboo kinks you cannot even fully divulge yourself in because it may be too dark. You may still skirt the lines of it and have it be incredibly hot and thrilling. Ensure that all parties are partaking in it in a safe sane and consensual (SSC) manner. Yes, you may have approached your partner with the idea that they will make your fantasy come true, but realize that everyone has their own thoughts and reservations even though they may be a people pleaser.

Step 5 – More Taboo Kinks

The first time is just that, a first time experience. Do you remember the first time you masturbated or had sex? How awkward was it? Right, so even if you consider yourself an expert now, in this taboo kink or in any sexual connection – realize that this is your partner’s first time. As their first experience with it, your reaction to it will shape their thoughts to this taboo kink. If you provide a safe space for them to explore, maybe they will feel comfortable with trying it again. If you immediately criticize and give negative feedback they will now shy away from the thought of ever attempting it a second time. Leaving them feeling embarrassed and possibly even guilty and/or ashamed. And that is not how anyone should ever feel about any kink. So nurture their experience, give it time to grow. Practice it, feed it more ideas, and most of all be sure that your partner enjoys it.

Now that you’ve successfully played with your taboo kink. Open up the space so that your partner may share their own taboo kink. They may or may not be ready to share it just yet, but let them know that you are grateful and appreciative of them for indulging in your deepest desires. Be open and receptive when your partner is ready to share a similar experience. Taboo kinks are incredibly hot to us, but along with it comes a lot of emotions revolving around guilt and shame that we are into such things. Don’t be quick to judge, instead listen and try to be understanding. As all kinks are unique and bring so much zest into each of our lives.