Congratulations, you’ve decided to hire an escort! Good choice, I approve. But now what? It can be difficult to figure out the steps that go into setting up a session with a sex worker. The industry is shrouded in secrecy, which is why I’ve written a guide to begin the process. Who better to learn from than someone who has worked as an independent provider? I want to show you the best etiquette when booking an escort, ensuring that you and the provider have the best possible experience.
How to choose an escort
Choosing the escort you want to see is a big step, and it might seem daunting. How do you find someone you’re going to vibe with? After all, you’re going to spend some up-close and personal time with this person, so how do you choose which provider is right for you?
Firstly, check out the provider’s ad or profile. The photos will give you an idea about their look and style, but it’s not always just about physicality. Escorts will tell you about themselves on their profile–what services they provide (GFE, PSE, FBSM?), the kinds of sessions they like to take, and sometimes a little about their personality. Make sure the escort provides the services you’re looking for, then read on to see what they’re like. Maybe they mention gaming in their profile, and you’re deep into Elden Ring right now. Maybe they’re fluent in French and you’re looking to practice your conversational skills (ménage à trois?).
You can check out an escort’s social media as well. Twitter (X) posts and Instagram stories are a great way for a provider to express their personality and give you a glimpse into what it might be like to spend a little quality time with them. Plus you might find their meme game to be on point. Be sure to follow their backup profiles, as social media sites are prone to removing sex workers accounts!
Booking etiquette
I’ve had my share of client messages and emails, so I know the difference between a good client inquiry and a bad one. Bad client messages can look like, ‘u avail?’ and do nothing but make the escort you're contacting doubt your interest, or worse, block you. If you’re a legitimate customer looking to make a real booking, using proper booking etiquette will help communicate this to the provider.
Make sure you read the provider’s website, ad, or profile thoroughly. You can usually find an escort’s booking instructions here, as well as all the other information you need like rates, services, etc. Some may prefer text over phone calls, some providers like to make all arrangements by email. Respect these requests! Occasionally a provider's website has a booking form to fill in–so make sure you include all the information requested.
Aside from paying careful attention to the communication requests a provider makes, it helps to be friendly, polite, and considerate in your messages. Be brief, to the point, and don’t include anything the provider doesn’t ask for. Do not include any graphic descriptions, or request any information that is already provided on the worker’s profile! If in doubt, or if you can’t find any booking instructions, send your potential provider a polite message that includes a brief hello, your first name, and when you are looking to see them. It might look a little something like this:
“Hello [provider name], my name is [your name] and I’m looking to make a 2 hour booking for the afternoon of the 5th of June if you are available. Thank you.”
Screening and deposits
Look, I know that screening and paying a deposit might make you uncomfortable. But just think of how uncomfortable your provider might be in making a booking with someone they haven’t vetted or who hasn’t made a deposit to confirm their appointment.
Each provider has their own screening methods to verify clients, and they will give you instructions on how they screen in their messages to you. Please follow them! If you don’t want to be screened in the specific way the escort requests–which is a completely valid choice–then understand you won’t be able to see the provider. Pushing boundaries on screening will endear you to no one, and likely result in you being blocked.
For many providers, deposits are crucial. They act as a guarantee that the client is definitely going ahead with the booking. It is usually just a portion of the whole fee for the session, and comes off the total when you attend your appointment, just like any deposit you pay for any other service. When I take a booking it’s important for me to have a deposit in place, so I know that my time in planning the session, getting ready, and travelling to the destination won’t be wasted. If the client doesn’t show, I’ve at least got the minimum payment for my time.
Providers understand that shit happens, we really do! We will often transfer the deposit for next time if you give us enough notice that you can’t make the booking. But if a client cancels at the last minute or doesn’t show at all–something that happens a lot more than you think–the deposit covers our costs.
Hygiene
You might be wondering what you need to do, hygiene-wise, before you have an appointment with an escort. Each provider will have their own preferences, and some may instruct you to have a shower at the start of your booking at their incall or hotel. We’ve got a handy guide to client hygiene on the blog, so check that out for an in-depth look at what to do and why. In the meantime, I recommend showering thoroughly, shaving if you have stubble, brushing your teeth, using mouthwash just before your session, and making sure your nails are clean, with no sharp edges.
It can be daunting to book a sex worker for the first time. It’s not something you can really ask anyone about, and because of this you’ll find many providers have booking instructions on their ads, websites, and profiles so that you communicate in a way that works best for them. Read these thoroughly! Sex workers LOVE clients who respect our booking process. Getting off on the right foot from the beginning of the process shows you respect us, and helps you earn our respect too.
Are you a sex worker with a story, opinion, news, or tips to share? We'd love to hear from you!
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