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A Tryst with Washington Dominatrix Goddess Honey B

A Tryst with Washington Dominatrix Goddess Honey B

. 8 min read

At tryst we like to celebrate and amplify the many Sex Workers that make up this thriving and vibrant community. Our interview series "A tryst with..." takes a deep dive into the lives of Sex Workers from around the world to help you better understand, not only how to be a better ally but also the realities of Sex Work. Today we chat to Washington Dominatrix Goddess Honey B about her connection to the Black Domme community, experiencing censorship online and paying for your damn porn!

Tell us your story, how did you get into the industry and what has your journey looked like thus far?

The first time someone paid me to curate their fantasies, I was 19 and in college. A guy online had asked me if he could cum on my feet for $500 (shoutout to Craigslist). I was stunned that someone would pay for that–and aroused. I learned in that moment that there was something about being paid to engage someone’s kink that I really enjoyed. I also learned that men in the military have a lot of disposable income, and a lot of kinks I was into. I didn’t have language or a politic around sex or sex acts as work, and honestly there was still so much internalized stigma about being paid for anything related to sex that it wasn’t until later during DC’s fight to decriminalize sex work that I was even able to admit that what I was doing was sex work. I shared this with a colleague who was saying that she didn’t understand how anyone could ever want to do sex work (and that it is inherently coercive), and I came out and told her that I was not only a person who’d engaged in sex work, but I enjoyed it. I mean, it’s work! We live under capitalism, who out here is not “coerced” into doing labor in order to get their basic needs met?

A year or so after that admission, I began my foray into professional domming. I have practiced BDSM for 5 years, and have been a professional dominatrix going on 2 years.

What are some of your hobbies and interests outside of work?

I actually have several things that I do for work, so it’s sometimes hard to find free time. When I do though, I love to read, practice new scenes and watch crime dramas. I’m also addicted to traveling. There’s something so soothing and liberating about seeing new places and learning about other people and their culture.

Is there a book, tv show, or movie that has had a significant impact on your life? What was it, and what did it teach you?

Octavia Butler is one of the most prolific authors of our lifetime. Her books and those of Tananarive Due have had the most significant impact on my life and work. These Black women wrote books about other worlds–other realities. The constant reminder that Black people, and Black women in particular, can and have been creating new realities for ourselves and our people has been central to my own world view.

I also have to shout out the book A Wrinkle In Time, my very first introduction to other worlds. I remember being a rapt first grader while our teacher read it aloud to us. Creating other worlds and other realities is also a significant part of my dominatrix practice. Not only am I curating fantasies, but I am curating alternate realities–realities where Black women are safe to submit; where white men understand their true place, and understand that it is an honor and divine privilege to serve Black women. I work to curate realities where my Black trans and queer siblings are safe, honored and revered.

As sex workers, we face many challenges. What are some issues you care about, and how do you think your clients can help sex workers and become better allies?

First, the whorephobic, sex worker exclusionary feminism (SWERF) that exists to further marginalize and demonize those who explicitly trade sex or things related to sex for cash or goods, must be eliminated. Sex work is work, and under capitalism the reality is that so many people consent to work that they have varying levels of excitement about, because in this world you must make money in order to survive. The right to food, housing and safety should be universal. Yet for many people of marginalized identities, which necessarily includes many sex workers, that is not a reality.

Instead of parroting talking points that rob us of our humanity and agency, something Black women, Black trans and queer folks are already too familiar with, people should advocate for sex work to be decriminalized and also for housing that is safe, healthy and affordable for people on low incomes. They should advocate for sex workers to be able to do our work without fear of censorship or jail time and also for healthcare that is comprehensive, free and supports overall wellness–including sexual wellness. These things are often pit against one another by anti-sex worker folks who attempt to deflect from the issue of decriminalizing sex work, but the reality is we can walk and chew gum. Society writ large must really reimagine its relationship with sex, including its obsession with simultaneously loving to benefit from the work while hating the people that make it happen.

What was something you didn't expect going into the industry?

I’ll start with the positives, because really that is my favorite part. Being a dominatrix can be really isolating, but I will forever be grateful for the Black Domme Sorority and the siblings and community that it provided me. I was so pleasantly surprised by how much love was there, and how isolated so many of us felt. I have made life-long connections that have benefited my mental and emotional health. Goddess Dallas, Lady Veta and I have a group chat where we vent, talk about our visions and where we are struggling. We also talk about new restaurants we want to try, family stuff and funny things we see on socials. Building community with other Black Femme Dommes has been instrumental to not just my growth, but my sanity. We support one another, hold one another accountable to our visions for our work, and weather storms together.

The most jarring thing has been the intensity of censorship, and how difficult it makes sex work--and even my sex education and coaching work--in a digital world. When SESTA and FOSTA passed and folks like Craigslist or Backpage eliminated whole sections of their sites, it was clear that it was going to get worse before it got better. But as a person who not only is a practicing dominatrix but also a sex and kink educator, I can’t even talk about how we can practice kink safely and use the words that make the education most useful. How are we supposed to have a society where people can fully access freedom when people can’t even fully access the language to describe their experiences or desires? It really is disgusting and sad, and platforms like Instagram and Facebook that shadowban sex workers, de-activate accounts and further the online abuse of sex workers (because that’s what it is when a time-wasting ass sub reports your page because you won’t engage their miserable asses), should be ashamed.

What’s one myth about Sex Work or Sex Workers you’d like to bust?

There are SO MANY! One funny one is that just because someone does sex work, they must have a lot of sex. So many of my good girlfriends who do sex work are not having sex outside of creating content. Dating can be difficult period, and that difficulty can be compounded because of the assumptions folks make about sex work and sex workers. Also, there is this odd sex worker hierarchy that sometimes exists where people attempt to devalue some kinds of sex work, like full service or street-based. There are some dominatrixes who attempt to distance themselves from the labels of sex work or sex worker. Dommes are sex workers too, even those of us who do not engage in penetrative sex. The things we do--curating fantasies for the sexual delight of other people--are sex acts. The work that we do, is sex work.

Another myth is that sex work is easy, or all one has to do is look cute on a camera. That is so disrespectful to the amount of time, energy, money etc. that goes into content creation and marketing. My good sis Dallas is an incredible content creator, and puts so much thought into what she curates for her fans and clients. Whether it’s phone sex, camming, porn or being a dominatrix, it takes energy and commitment to do it well. Study, seek mentorship, research and enter with humility. Sex work isn’t just fucking. Sometimes, it’s not fucking at all. But it is always work.

And if you are a person who enjoys the content a sex worker makes, PAY FOR THAT SHIT! You like Starbucks, you pay for the latte. Same goes for the people who help create and execute your fantasies–pay for the labor, especially the labor of Black women and other women of color.

What would your dream date look like?

Goddess absolutely loves dates! I really love lots of different kinds of dates. I love being taken out and then fully ignoring the person I’m with. Maybe bring a book, order some delicious food and he’s not allowed to say even a single word–not even to the waitress. If he behaves, I let him eat. Maybe. As a Taurean foodie, I generally love dates that include really good food and a beautiful atmosphere. Can hardly beat good food and a good view.

My favorite scent is: I am currently obsessed with Chanel Gabrielle and Pumice by Black-owned brand Zuresh.

My favorite restaurant is: As a foodie, this is hard–but right now I’m crushing on L’ardente. I also love sushi.

If you were to buy me a drink at a bar, you should buy me: I’m not really a drinker, so a club soda with lots of limes, or a gin with sweet lime juice if I’m doing alcohol.

My favorite things to be gifted are: I really love plants, things to improve my home and gold jewelry. I keep an updated list of gifts I’d love on my elfster page.


Want to meet Washington Dominatrix Honey B in the flesh? Head over to her Tryst profile! 👇👇👇

Honey B. • Tryst.link
Honey B. is a female BDSM provider from Washington DC, District of Columbia, United States. ❤ “Come Worship Your Goddess – Hello, and welcome to my hive. I am Goddess Honey B., and it is my divine pleasure to allow you to worship me. I am an experienced, verified domm...”