Thanks for checking out our sex worker interview series 'A Tryst With...' We're speaking with LA Escort Fera Lorde about survival, resilience, and 3-storey art collectives!
Can you tell us your sex worker origin story?
My first days were survival days. My first real step into the work was with a fake passport at a strip club. I was in a band and our van broke down in SoCal. The boys locked me out of our motel room, telling me I had to go strip across the street to make money for repairs. I was only 15. I was so fortunate to be taken under the wing of a sweet and seasoned stripper who saw me walk in, and immediately whisked me off to help me get made up and figure out what the fuck was going on with me (lmao). She gave me the best advice you could get as a newbie: don't let any man touch your money. So I didn't! I made bank that week, abandoned the band to fend for themselves and got myself back to Seattle. I didn't go back home to my abusive household after that, and was hustling odd jobs (underage, with my fake passport) and busking to survive. I ended up in a domestic violence-trafficking situation that a group of street-based workers helped me get out of. This officially transitioned me into doing street-based sex work, and firmly into their little family. It was a hard time, but it afforded me the agency to pursue a community college program in audio engineering and open a recording studio.
You’re twenty years into your journey, how has the industry changed?
The industry is constantly changing. We adapt creatively to changes in how we advertise, where we work and who with, our aesthetic, and the business we run. I think this is the nature of sex work in general, and has been for centuries. Currently we’re in a position that's really difficult for many workers, where the work is more isolated–we’re online, in an individual home or in a hotel room. When I was young we had a lot more power and safety in working in groups or in shared spaces. Project Cross Country, the loss of Backpage, FOSTA/SESTA laws, COVID-19, and the wave of OnlyFans-workers really shifted us away from having a culture of collaboration and mentorship, into something a lot lonelier and more individual, and less private. Those newer to the work have a lot less support and higher risk through public exposure. I see it affect the mental health of a lot of younger workers. I hope we see new shifts toward collectivism in the coming years. <3
What are some skills you’ve developed through your time as a sex worker? What are their broader application in the civvie world?
Sex work sharpens your intuition to a needlepoint—it's our greatest resource in this work. Differentiating between anxiety and fear, and intuition and wisdom, having the confidence to observe and parent the former, and act on the latter—that's a priceless tool in my arsenal.
You have been involved in sex work organising in the past. What are some of the main areas you worked in and what are some of your proudest achievements?
I think my proudest achievement was the mutual aid fund for sex workers in New York that Molly Simmons and I founded and ran under Sex Workers Outreach Program (SWOP) Brooklyn. We not only raised and distributed over $200,000 to sex workers across the state, but inspired many other groups to form their own mutual aid collectives and movements, and form coalitions. There are so many small events, art shows, workshops, clothing swaps—even just friendships built and supported—that feel just as monumental. The tapestry of small to large projects and relationships we build collectively creates systems of care and support that to me feel revolutionary. It is this path we need to take to build a future that will replace imperialist, white-supremacist, capitalist culture. To those reading this—no work is too small–contributing what you can when you can is how we rebuild this world. <3
Why do you think it is important for sex work to be decriminalized, not just legalized? How would it change the way you are able to work?
“Decrim” allows us to fully self-govern in the ways we already do, despite criminalization. I’ve shared my own story here of being empowered by sex workers to escape my trafficker as a minor. We keep us safe, full stop. Criminalization only puts us in harm's way, treating us as non-human, and erasing our agency over our lives.
What has sex work taught you about yourself?
This is the hardest of these questions, as to be honest, I don't really know myself outside of twenty years of sex work. Mostly, it has taught me radical self-acceptance. It has taught me how to feel, how to grieve, how to witness myself and others, how to sit in ambiguity or liminal space, how to value myself and those I love even when every external voice is fighting against it. I’ve lost so many people, been rejected by my family, been denied opportunities and projects because of my history and present status as a sex worker—but it's nothing compared to what I’ve gained in wisdom, heart, love, and knowing my own power.
What is your favourite part of sex work culture? What communities, people, places, and memories are important to you as a sex worker?
The intensity of our emotionality and how deeply we share it with each other: the deep, unending grief, and the pure and resilient joy that interweaves between all of our many intersectional experiences and identities. In no other space have I felt more of the humanity and transparency of our shared oppressive reality, alongside the shared knowing that through loving each other we make our lives worth fighting for.
You now work as a tattoo artist and a shop and gallery owner. Can you tell us about adding these occupations to your repertoire?
This last year has been heinous. I signed the lease on a three-story building downtown, with the dream and vision of creating a collective of artists to house the space. The top two floors are dedicated to body modification and tattooing, and we are currently building out the gallery on the first floor to house events, workshops, and a showroom. It's been the “little freak palace” of my dreams—we’ve held a “titty funeral” puppetshow, vampire strip nights, experimental opera and play parties, and my own birthday party—a gala-clad resistance to the police brutality my friends and I had experienced only days before. It's been a merging of the communities I’ve been honored to be part of—from sex work, to organizing, to DIY art and noise, to tattooing. It feels like the “Temperance” card in the Tarot: integration.
You mentioned that kink is a big part of your work. What draws you to kink and what kind of experiences do you offer your clients?
I love kink for the same reasons I love tattoo and body modification practice. It is an invitation into the shadow self—the parts of us hidden behind masks, veils, and coping mechanisms—witnessed and re-narrated by a practitioner who responsibly contains the experience. I have had profound experiences on both sides: contained and container. I love seeing the distillation of self that occurs through these very alchemical experiences and witnessing growth and transformation into claiming one's own life, self, and power.
Are there any advocacy groups or charitable organizations that you'd like to give a shout-out to?
Right now my donations and tithing have been going to Coalition for Humane Immigrant Rights (CHIRLA) and Palestine Children's Relief Fund (PCRF), because FUCK ICE and FREE PALESTINE.
Is there a book, blog, tv show, or movie that has had a major impact on your life?
If you know me, you know I’m a HUGE nerd and am constantly consuming sci-fi and fantasy books. I have to say that everything Octavia Butler has ever written (but especially the Parables and Xenogenesis Trilogy) has deeply impacted me and I revisit them often. I also just reread The Mists of Avalon for the first time since middle school and what a take on the beginnings of christian nationalism and the erasure of European ancestral druidic and pagan earth-based spiritual practices. I’m still sitting with it.
How do you like to spend time outside of work? Do you have any special interests?
I’m pretty much constantly working (Virgo-rising, lmao) but when I have a moment to relax, I love to read, hike and forage, play Baldur’s Gate, talk to Gxd, play with my cat, talk philosophy or politics or astrology or spirit with anyone who will yap back, and take some (good) drugs and dance til I have no sweat left in me at the rave or the noise show or the resistance or wherever the people are gathering to a good beat. 🫀
My favourite album is: Probably The Downward Spiral by Nine Inch Nails.
In the future, I plan to: continue on the path shown to me. ;)
My favourite piece of trivia is: Did you know that toilets are still to this day made by hand by master ceramicists, because they are too complex to mass manufacture?
If you want to win my heart you must: earn it and then devour it.
For me, the best part of sex is: merging.
Want to meet LA Escort Fera Lorde in person?
Head over to her profile! 👇👇👇
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