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A Tryst with Atlanta Dominatrix Mistress Merkaba

A Tryst with Atlanta Dominatrix Mistress Merkaba

. 7 min read

Despite an incredibly turbulent 2021 we saw the Sex Workers rights movement strengthen and expand to a global scale. Not only have we seen significant movement on the decrim front, but Sex Workers are taking hold of their narratives through incredible new projects including Petit Mort, TOS Journal, Beyond the Whorizon, Somebody you Love, After Curfew and Sex Work CEO. Through our series, A tryst with, we hope to help with these efforts by giving allies and clients the ability to listen to and learn from Sex Workers on tryst. Today we chat to Atlanta Dominatrix, Mistress Merkaba, about how she got started, destigmatising Sex Work and why not all Dom's are keen on ball busting.

Tell us your story, how did you get into the industry and what has your journey looked like thus far?

I got into the sex industry in about 2013 as a collegiate sugar baby who was just too spicy to be tamed, until I found my first perfect sugar daddy and realized... "He wants me to dominate him..." And I did. I was an impulsive child. Undiagnosed with ADHD, it was my way or the highway or I'd figure out a way to burn the entire room to the ground. I'd always dreamed of growing up and being sort of a femme fatale as a child with villains like Catwoman and Poison Ivy as some of my biggest inspirations. So once I really came to understand what a dominatrix actually was in my early 20's, a light bulb went off and it's been all systems go ever since. In college, I did a lotttt of sugaring and selling obscure fetish pics via Tumblr. Photos of my tongue, my nostrils, the top of my booty-crack, all non-explicit (I guess) but it took me a while to realize this was sex work too. Eventually, fast forward to 2020 and the pandemic really gave me the freedom (and $, shoutout to NYC Unemployment Assistance) to really brand myself as a professional dominant, discover BDSM through an abolitionist framework, and find community in BDSM. I use kink as a vehicle to heal and explore myself and guide others in doing the same.

What are some of your hobbies and interests outside of work?

I love producing music, roller skating, working out, giving advice to friends, and almost anything outdoorsy that has to do with survival skill (foraging and gardening, shooting guns, knife throwing, hiking, swimming, etc.)

Is there a book, tv show, or movie that has had a significant impact on your life? What was it, and what did it teach you?

"Emotional Intelligence 2.0" and "Happiness Is a Serious Problem: A Human Nature Repair Manual" are the best books I've ever been gifted. The first really changed my perspective on how to deal with difficult professional relationships in my vanilla life and ultimately opened my mind up to the psychology behind interpersonal interactions especially in the BDSM lane. And the second book really changed my perspective on how to deal with the difficult relationship I had with myself during a really low point in my life post-grad.

As sex workers, we face many challenges. What are some issues you care about, and how do you think your clients can help sex workers and become better allies?

SEX WORK IS WORK! And I cannot stress it enough. I think that non-sex workers need to start destigmatizing sex worker relations on an interpersonal level. There are only so many ways we can advocate for ourselves, especially politically, before we're silenced or erased. If you are kinky and sex workers are a part of your life, don't be ashamed! Walk more and more in your truth as you can each day, especially if you're someone who benefits from sex work as a consumer and identifies with/as the dominant hegemony because when attacks on sex workers occur, especially through legislation, there needs to be more outright solidarity.

What’s a positive thing Sex Work has taught you?

Two things! In terms of consent, "no means no" isn't good enough, we only acknowledge "yes mean yes". Also, my time, presence, and attention are extremely valuable and I don't have to take any shorts. I'm a blessing and a beauty to behold and anyone who doesn't recognize that and approach accordingly is not worthy of my time, presence, or attention. Both lessons have made navigating vanilla spaces so much easier as a neuro-divergent and a Black woman, especially in a world where both identities are constantly messaged otherwise about ourselves and about consent throughout our entire existence.

Why do you think it is important for sex work to be decriminalized and how do you think it would change the way you work?

I think a lot more people would be open to getting the help they need (in regards to intimacy issues, sex therapy, sexual service, consultation, etc) from sex workers who are more than qualified. It would mean more $$$ coming in for me for sure, but more importantly, I think it would really enable me to get the sex therapy certification I want and be able to develop a practice that combined the best of both worlds. BDSM can be really healing and freeing when practiced in a trauma-informed way. And with the criminalization of it, a lot of people are struggling existentially and becoming ticking time bombs of repressed energy when they could be getting help from professionals in a healthy (and legal) exchange, without the worry of ridiculous legal ramification.

What’s one myth about Sex Work or Sex Workers you’d like to bust?

Not all dominatrix want to bash your balls in 😭😂 We are all just normal yet skilled humans doing a job. And although there are a ton who are into intense scenes and want to shove a needle through your cock, there are many of us who are more sensual sadists. No one sex worker is created equal, even if they offer the same services.

What changes would you like to see happen within the sex industry?

I would love to see more ownership. More solidarity. Less dependence on these payment processor controlled platforms that really don't care to speak up for or advocate for us as the demographic usually keeping the lights on. I want to see things go back to the old days in terms of how we commune and engage in our culture and I want to see sex workers getting offline and getting together in real life more, because we truly do share this burden of survival with one another. Social media can be alienating and we need to remember and bank on the fact that most times, only we got us.

When you're having a bad day, what do you do to make yourself feel better?

Go to sleep and try again the next day if it's late enough OR call up a bitch boy to do my bidding.

What are your top three pieces of advice for workers just starting out?

TAKE YOUR TIME. There's nothing fast about this and it takes time for some of us to heal our own traumas and find our footing in the sex industry. Every part of the industry won't be for you, and that's okay! Listen to your body. Don't search for mentorship too hard, there are a lot of people taking advantage of workers just getting into the game and your intuition will be your best guide so as long as you have your ear to it.

What would your dream date look like?

Bottomless brunch, barefoot on a beach where it doesn't get cooler than 65 degrees at any given moment. With a couple that likes to see me filled with excitement but doesn't talk too much.

My favorite scent is: Oud Palao by Diptyque or Polo Red.

My favorite restaurant is: Morimoto in Philadelphia!

If you were to buy me a drink at a bar, you should buy me: A ginger beer. I don't drink unless it's a VERY special occasion.

My favorite thing to be gifted is: Cold hard cash.

A social cause I care about is: Universal basic everything (in addition to income). Every single human breathing deserves to have their basic needs met. It may sound entitled but it's a hill I'm willing to die on.

Want to meet Atlanta Dominatrix Mistress Merkaba in the flesh? Head over to their Tryst profile! 👇👇👇

Mistress Merkaba • Tryst.link
Mistress Merkaba is a female BDSM provider from Atlanta, Georgia, United States. ❤ “Your wildest dream, manifested – Bow down betas, your favorite ballbuster has arrived! Mistress Merkaba is a professional dominatrix from NYC but based in Atlanta who has a passio...”