Tell us your story, how did you get into the industry and what has your journey looked like thus far?
First I want to thank you for asking me to participate in your blog interviews and it's good to put a personality behind Tryst, which is a beautiful and well laid out site by the way.
My story . . . a significant other introduced me to the concept of FemDom quite by accident. I found a stash of BDSM porn and erotic FemDom writings. This was over 20 years ago when internet was dial up and pretty much useless for erotic pursuits. I left them on the bed and that night we had "the discussion". I came from a pretty conservative background and I think he thought I would be shocked. The only thing that was shocking was that he had never trusted in me to tell me about these fantasies. I found it captivating and from there we experimented with things like bondage, chastity, face sitting and orgasm control - mainly sensual stuff. And that is where his interests stayed but for me it was Pandora's Box and the lid could not be closed.
From there I read his magazines, would venture out to clubs when we traveled and then the internet completely opened up my world. I was voracious. He and I survived that and are still together. I allow him to be him and he allows me to be me. I am sure sometimes he thinks he created a monster.
As I explored kink, occasionally someone would say, "you would make a great Dominatrix". Things were not as transparent as they are now and I had erroneous ideas about what happened in a professional session. Eventually someone set me straight and within a year of this revelation I was offering professional sessions. That was 2010.
Doing professional sessions has been a phenomenal experience. It allowed me to come out of the closet, so to speak and stop being a weekend warrior. I don't have to go to a club to play and then put my toys away until the next adventure. It has allowed me to explore my own interests, try amazing things, be creative in ways I had only dreamed and live a lifestyle that is simply phenomenal - at least to me. I have had a corporate career, owned a business and none of it ever brought me the joy that being a Pro Domme has.
What are some of your favourite fetishes to cater to and why?
This is something that is really fluid for me and it might be the secret to why I don't get burned out. I will go through a phase where I love S&M, the heavier the better. Eventually that will run its course and I'm yearning to dress up the sissies or do role plays or CBT. Doing professional sessions provides me with the variety I need to keep things fresh.
I very much enjoy extended, immersive scenes that can include a wide variety of play options. Several years ago I started FemDom Mansion, a venue that requires a minimum 24 hour stay. Those have been some of the most epic scenes imaginable. I always get very excited when it's time plan one of those events.
What are some of your hobbies and interests outside of work?
I still consider kink a hobby so I continue to read and educate myself, go to kink parties and attend events and conferences. It's not just something I do to earn a living. However, when I really want to reconnect with my core and ground myself, I head out to the garden. There nothing quite like digging in the dirt to make me feel restored and relaxed.
As sex workers/erotic labourers we face a number of challenges in our line of work. What is one issue you care about and how do you think your clients can help sex workers?
I espouse the philosophy of "take care of your own backyard before you worry about the neighbors". If a client feels a real connection for a provider and wants to help, start at the individual level. Ask her what she needs or how you can help. Right now (due to COVID-19) it might just be helping with the rent or she might direct you to a specific cause that has meaning for her within the industry. For me its net neutrality and most clients have no idea what that means or how it impacts us. If we lose control of the internet and sites like Tryst are not allowed to operate, we will all be in a mess. They slipped FOSTA/SESTA through almost unanimously without so much as a peep because it was cloaked in human trafficking. Let's not lose our internet freedom. I urge everyone to let their Congressmen and Senators know that net neutrality is not negotiable.
What is a common misconception you see within the BDSM space?
Wow, there are so many, but I guess the one that gets under my skin the most is the lack of understanding of the skills required to be a good, ethical dominant. I see this on both sides of the fence, with ladies that think being hot is all the skill and training they need and clients that don't fully appreciate the planning, preparation, training, cost of equipment, etc that ensure they have an excellent scene. And if I may be so bold to list another misconception that is specific to FemDom, it's that Dommes are man haters. In reality I think you have to love men and appreciate our differences to be a great Domme and have longevity in the industry.
What’s one weird food combination you really enjoy?
Haha. I didn't see that one coming. I don't think I really have any food eccentricities but I do like anchovies on pizza.
What’s your one go to piece of advice for Dominatrix’s just starting out?
Seek out education and don't expect to get it for free. I get emails several times a week from ladies wanting to become a Dominatrix. Unfortunately the majority of those requests come from a desire to make money and there seldom is any love for the art itself. If you don't already engage in BDSM this probably isn't for you and you will become what we call a "tourist" in the industry. However, if you love it and want to make a living at it, be prepared to offer something in return for training.
Is there anyone in the industry you consider a role model or someone you looked up to when you first started your journey?
There were numerous BDSM lifestylers that I learned from and looked up to - too many to mention. Lifestylers can be the most generous at sharing their knowledge and insights. In the industry, a male dungeon owner gave me the knowledge I needed to navigate the business side of things and I will be forever grateful to him. As far as ProDommes, the incomparable Mistress Troy of NYC is the classiest Dominatrix I know and it's always a privilege to follow her example.
A gift I love to receive from clients is: My favorite gifts are the ones that cause me to think of the giver. Those tend to be everyday things that I use frequently.
One of my simple pleasures is: Reading a good mystery novel
My happy place is: In the Dungeon or the garden
If you were going to buy me a drink you should buy me a: glass of champagne