One thing I’ve learned about this line of work from my many years of experience is that there will be slow periods. We’re going to have highs and we will have lows.
This is not an article about saving money. I should read that article though; send it to me! This is an article about how not to panic. This is a prayer about building trust.
You will have weeks where the pile of cash in your hand is a surprise and grows faster than you thought it could. You’ll also have weeks when no one is booking. This is just the nature of the beast that is sex work. Maybe it’s different for some people. Perhaps the sex worker with a consistent weekly income exists, and I tip my hat to them!
This article is for the rest of us. Here are some tips for how to best navigate slumps or slow times, from a seasoned provider.
Ritualize!
Move through the muck of scarcity fear gently, and with plenty of care for your capitalism-indoctrinated mind. Get clear on your intentions and goals as a way to re-route scarcity fears. Journal to release blocks, or make up your own money/wealth/abundance spell. Visualize it. Call it in. Feel it and be deeply grateful for all of the plenty as if it’s already here in your life. I know it’s hard. Believe me, as a person who grew up on food stamps and is now a single parent with a work flow that can go way up to way down, I really do understand how that panic and freeze-fear can feel in my body. Do not ignore that feeling, but honor it, listen to it, and try to really lovingly validate it. The fear, I believe, is an impulse that wants to take care of us; it’s an impulse that wants what is best for us.
We’ve all been reared in capitalism, and undoing some of the brainwashing that tells us we need to be constantly productive or busy or making money to be worthy and ok can be a lot of work. It can also be so beneficial. Since we are all living with capitalism’s boot on our neck, fear of not being able to make ends meet is really valid and just part of the trap that is this system. Can we find a bit of ease, rest, and peace even if we can’t quite completely escape the trap?
Cultivate gratitude for what you’ve got
Do you have a roof over your head? Warm food to eat? A trusted friend or two? A hot cup of tea? A client booked for next week? Take a few moments each day to bask in a feeling of thankfulness for the little and big things you are lucky to have and experience. Even if the fear remains, some joy and thankfulness can co-exist.
Reroute that nervous energy
Use the gaps in your schedule to update your website, re-write your ads, update your socials, do a photo-trade, or take some hot new photos of yourself. That blog post or new ad copy you’ve been meaning to write? Now is a great time! Don’t feel inspired? Drag your ass to the closet and put on your cutest outfit, your favorite perfume, and your best lipstick. Sometimes we have to make our own inspiration from scratch, and cultivating a feeling of hotness helps!
Use this time to rest and replenish
This doesn’t have to cost anything. Think of this unplanned break as a gift. Have a spa day at home. Dish soap makes great bubbles for a bath. Add some table salt in there to cleanse your energy and relax your muscles. Sit under a tree and listen to the birds and squirrels. Even they know there are times to rest and times to hustle. Dance around the house to your favorite song. Make quality time dates with friends. Find some affirmations that calm and uplift you and post them around your space. We really are here for more than to just get by.
Get creative!
Have a spike of energy and want to avoid spiraling in worry, self doubt, or capitalism’s indoctrinated shame? Get creative: make art, make time for your hobbies, put some love and creativity into your living space. Start that creative project you just haven’t had the time or energy for. Make a vision board. Make a piece of art to exorcise yourself of all worry, anxiety, and catastrophizing.
Volunteer some time
I know this one is counter-intuitive, but it really is a paradox I’ve found to be true. Lean into ways to give back to your community, and volunteer some time. Contribute your labor to a cause you believe in. Get involved in a local mutual aid project. Pay reparations to directly affected folks in whatever way you can. Abundance is not a one way street. You gotta give to receive.
Start some new healthy rituals!
Think of ways to feel full, plentiful and resourced that do not revolve around income. Workout routines, meditation practice, at home mani-pedi, face masks made with items you can find in your kitchen, self-love, and appreciation practices can all contribute to making you feel more grounded.
Explore a side hustle
If you don’t already have a side gig or a whole other job, maybe now is a good time to explore other income streams. What could best support your sex work flow?
Take a break from the internet
Delete your social media for a whole week and read those books that have been collecting dust on your shelf. Spend time at your local library. It’s quiet. It’s free. You’ll be surrounded by sacred books and your neighbors. So many stories! It’s a great place to start to expand your own story, or to tell a different story.
Talk it out
Last but not least: talk to a fellow trusted sex worker. Don’t have a good sex worker friend? Read a book or an article by one. Remember, even if no one else has our backs, we do.
It’s okay and normal to feel worried or even panicked in slow times. It’s ok to feel the fear. We don’t need to deny it or rush to cover it in toxic positivity. But we do need to remember that, as sex workers, we are natural alchemists, witches, and transformative healers. We can alchemize this too.
I know these tips aren’t ground-breaking or revelations that thousands of sweet hookers before me haven’t already had. But I also know how panic and scarcity fear works on our brains and our capacity to think clearly and see the bigger picture. So maybe these are just reminders. I know I need them often, no matter how many years I’ve been at it.
Here’s to every sexy provider getting a big, fat, ever-growing bag. And in times where the coins aren’t flowing as fast, here’s to y’all still feeling grounded, worthy, beautiful, rested, and knowing that it is coming to you. In cunt we trust!
Are you a sex worker with a story, opinion, news, or tips to share? We'd love to hear from you!
We started the tryst.link sex worker blog to help amplify those who aren't handed the mic and bring attention to the issues ya'll care about the most. Got a tale to tell? 👇☂️✨
