There is no consent in survival.
Last night I was talking to a friend and we theorized that due to systemic conditioning, I was always going to engage in some form of sex work. That in a dystopian, late capitalist city like New York, the pronounced disparities in housing, healthcare, and job security amongst Black women makes us prone to engage in survival sex work.
After leaving college due to a horrific accident, I was dependent on my parents with no means of income after the 2008 recession. With no option to live at home, nearly homeless, and recently fired, I was in the kind of precarious state that many low-income neurodiverse adults find themselves in. I entered the sex trade – with a fantasy that crashed after I had a few realizations:
Your rate will be based solely on skin tone, age, and weight. It is normalized that thin white sex workers who engage in indoor work can charge between 1000-3000 USD per hour in major cities. It’s also expected that the rates of Black sex workers must be lower to become a viable option, as Black women are not considered 'worth' as much as white women. Capitalism, in its most reductive form, is tied to a desire economy. This economy is not just regulated to sex work; it is mirrored in corporate America and most sectors of contemporary life.
People disregard violence on unseen populations like sex workers, poor people, and the unhoused, because society advocates for it. A human being's worth can be reduced to context, zip codes, and institutional structures. Most people will rationalize assigning humanity on those things alone.
Societies attitude toward sex work contributes to the violent acts of marginalization and erasure that women face globally.
In a society that bolsters apps like Tinder, promotes hookup culture, and is complicit in the sexualization of women, it’s not a sense of morality that drives adverse attitudes to sex work, but a reaction to women having autonomy.
Capitalism, in its most reductive form, is tied to a desire economy. This economy is not just regulated to sex work; it is mirrored in corporate America and most sectors of contemporary life.
There was a time in my life that I juggled two personas, public and private. I was always in fear I would be outed and ritualistically shamed for the peculiarities and desires of men. As I recalibrated my performance and behavior to these analogous environments, I uttered a whisper that echoed: duality is present in all people's lives. There is a public versus a private self, a binary of extremities. A tale of two cities.
Outside of sex work, my networking events felt no different than a clients apartment at three am. Rushing to openings and after parties, I was met with rampant acts of sexual harassment from art dealers, CEOs, and collectors – all while constantly checking my phone for a midnight appointment that could at least monetize the experiences I was having.
I was labelled a whore, but also a coat check girl, gallery assistant, intern, or simply a radical anomaly that was invited as a party favor. Why else would a Black woman be at a NYC townhouse casually if not as the hired help, a prostitute, or both? I have witnessed sex workers hired to attend these parties as sexual laborers, and viewed no different to the caterers and hired valets.
The art industry is fueled by the casting couch, drugs, and desire to maintain the status quo. Cultural institutions are fronts, acting as fortresses to protect the elite and their interests. They resemble the aristocracy's relationships to the church, controlling and sustaining the masses as they disproportionately accrue wealth and influence; benefitting only themselves at the cost and wreckage of the 99%.
Outside of sex work, my networking events felt no different than a clients apartment at three am.
Sex work has explained capitalism to me in its rawest form. It has explained the modulation in markets of commodities and goods. It has granted me a keen knowledge that whiteness and proximity to whiteness will essentially determine your survival. It has shown me that the stigmatization of sex work is about protecting men, not women. It is about penalizing people deprived of humanity, no different to any other “ism” that supports discrimination based on sex, race, religion, and class.
It is the last frontier of inclusion.
Are you a sex worker with a story, opinion, news, or tips to share? We'd love to hear from you!
We started the tryst.link sex worker blog to help amplify those who aren't handed the mic and bring attention to the issues ya'll care about the most. Got a tale to tell? 👇☂️✨
