The Moment I Knew: Lana Hart

The Moment I Knew: Lana Hart

. 4 min read

Growing up my favorite book was Eloise, the story of a young girl who lived at the “tippy top” of The Plaza Hotel in New York City. I was born and raised in a small city in Maine and had never been to New York, let alone The Plaza. Both seemed like kingdoms far, far away to little ol’ me.  I’d flip through the pink pages of Eloise and imagine myself as her, roaming the halls of a fancy hotel and finding mischief and adventure at every turn. Eloise was often unchaperoned and The Plaza was her parent-free palace. I too wanted to be a princess who lived a life of luxury and rebellion. I wasn’t thinking about being a sex worker at the time, because I was, you know, a child – but I was sure I wanted to go to The Plaza some day and cause a ruckus, just like Eloise. 

Once I grew out of children’s books, I turned from the pages of Eloise to the dazzling theatrics of Moulin Rouge. It was my favorite movie and I would watch it every time I stayed home from school sick. Most of those times I was faking being sick, so it was really just a relaxing day of me eating snacks and laying on the couch in my pajamas as I took in the bright lights and extravagant costumes that danced across my family’s tiny television screen. Moulin Rouge is the story of a Parisian courtesan who wants to become “a real actress.” I had no idea what a courtesan was at the time, all I knew was that Satine was beautiful, powerful, and talented. I wanted to be her so badly.

In my college years, I found a new wild woman to aspire to: Diablo Cody. I read her memoir, Candy Girl: A Year in the Life of an Unlikely Stripper, because I was studying screenwriting and Cody was one of the most well known female screenwriters at the time. But the book had nothing to do with screenwriting. Instead, it chronicled her years working as a stripper. I read the book in under a week and loved it. I always assumed Diablo Cody was my idol because of her work as a screenwriter, but turns out she inspired a different career path of mine.

I wasn’t thinking about being a sex worker at the time, because I was, you know, a child – but I was sure I wanted to go to The Plaza some day and cause a ruckus

I became a stripper a few years after college, assuming it was a side hustle I had chosen at random. Seven years later, I’m still dancing and doing other sex work, and have since realized that I had desired and manifested this career path more than I originally assumed. Looking back and thinking about how infatuated I was with the lives of Eloise and Satine, it’s obvious that I yearned for an adventurous, unconventional life. Preferably one that came with diamonds and access to The Plaza hotel. I wanted to live outside of the margins of society, attract attention, and live loudly.

That’s what sex work gave me. To me, being a whore is about freedom. The freedom to do what you choose, to be loud and proud and live outside of the box that society tries to contain you in. Rejecting shame will set you free, and it can also lead to a life of adventure, mischief and luxury. 

The first time I set foot in The Plaza was to see a client. He had previously flown me out on his private jet for a paid vacation in The Caribbean. That night we ordered expensive champagne and desserts to the hotel room and he renewed his booking hour after hour. When I first arrived, I walked into the hotel lobby and caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror. I looked beautiful and glamorous, just like Satine. Then I walked through the decadent hotel hallways and was reminded of Eloise, the mischievous little girl I always envied. I felt like her, all grown up.  And the thing that had gotten me here, to this very moment, was the decision to become a stripper, just like Diablo Cody.

There wasn’t a big, “Aha!” moment for me when I realized I wanted to do sex work – besides the moment I decided to go audition at the club because I was tired of being broke. For me, there were clues and inspiration along the way that didn’t become clear until I had hindsight. And while I’m not just like Satine – I’d never give up being the most popular prostitute in Paris for a stage acting career; or Diablo Cody – who ultimately was a stripper as some sort of social experiment, which is a bit offensive to the stripper community; or Eloise – a literal child, I have become a wild woman who lives life on her terms, often causing a ruckus and turning heads in the process.


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