Talking about STI’s can be a touchy and taboo subject for most people. Many people don't really know how most STI’s are transmitted or how to avoid them. They think an STI is like a death sentence, when that couldn't be more far from the truth. For example, you can live with HIV and be completely undetectable and untransmissible with access to the right medication. So even one of the most stigmatized STIs is treatable and that fact is not talked about often.
For me, minimising the spread of STIs and other possible non-sexual infections in a session looks like many things depending on the practice. It can look like using gloves while doing anal play and changing them every time we stop. The same with condoms – using them for toys while pegging and changing them frequently, and using lube can help with the friction that sometimes leads to breakages. Dental dams are less common to use but super necessary in case of things like cunnilingus. In my country they aren't common, so we’ve adapted by cutting condoms into rectangles.
Talking about STI’s can be a touchy and
taboo subject for most people.
I personally use RACK (Risk Aware Consensual Kink) as protocol. In this context it means that both parties are aware that even with all the precautions there's still risks both ways, that there's practices that are riskier than others, and also that we're going to take every measure towards prevention and safer practices. We still consent knowing the risk of STI’s and other risks that are unrelated, depending on the practice.
I love it when subs are STI and safety informed, or when they are the ones suggesting extra kinds of protection. There's like this double stigma about sex workers being STI hazards or that we never use protection – which I hate. The stigma related to sex workers being these ‘nasty STI spreaders’ is so untrue, at least in my country and whore’s circle. We are the ones that are always getting tested, pushing for using all kinds of protection, talking openly about STI’s, safer sex, and practices. This also happens to me because I'm non-monogamous – people think I'm always fucking lots and that I'm dirty because of it, but that's untrue. Non-monogamous people in my experience are also more worried about STI safety than other people. Also, you can be nasty and safe at the same time, they're not mutually exclusive. And contracting an STI, just like having sex, doesn't make you ‘dirty’.
There's like this double stigma about sex
workers being STI hazards or that we
never use protection – which I hate.
There's also the fact that there's lots of people who live with an STI and don't know, or that you can contract one even through kissing. This is not to scare people but to bring down the taboo HSV, for example, is super common. It's believed that approximately one in five adults have it, and I'd dare to say most don't know or it's asymptomatic for them, so why is it seen as something so rare and scary? I think it has to do with a lot of things – like sexuality being a taboo in itself, eugenics, homophobia, etc.
When they teach us about this in school it's almost an intentionally traumatic experience, because they make you believe that if you have sex you'll always contract an STI, that it's the worst thing that can happen to you, and that it happens because you were dirty. They create a clown show of grotesque pictures taken from the internet that are always some advanced stage of the STI. In the end this doesn't help at all and on the contrary, it can affect in recognising signs and symptoms of an STI, because “it doesn't really look like that picture on Google”, or the one that your teacher showed you. That's not a very sexuality-friendly way of learning things. I firmly believe that if there was more information and we talked more about STI’s and safety practices between peers, in our communities, and also in general, it would be a less common issue and there would be far less stigma.
Are you a sex worker with a story, opinion, news, or tips to share? We'd love to hear from you!
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