May 13, 2023 was a beautiful Saturday in North Miami, FL. I grew up here, in this city brimming with folks of the Caribbean diaspora. It’s always been an inclusive part of Miami and my fondest memories are of being there. I woke up this day full of hope, even though I was thoroughly burnt out from advocacy work. I thought to myself, “I just have to get through today and then I can rest.” Decrim 305 was asked to be part of an event celebrating the end of what was one of the worst legislative sessions in Florida to date. I’m always happy to bring awareness to the issues that sex workers face and this was a perfect event to do so.
Myself and another colleague were bringing resources and supplies, and I had a speaking role. I was prepared with a speech in relation to the legislative session and how sex workers were affected by these bills. I was asked to send my speech prior to the event as there were Spanish and Creole translators that would need to see it ahead of time. I did so without contest. About an hour before the event, I received a text from one of the organizers, asking me to censor my speech and cut out the aspects that addressed sex work or they would have to cut my speech. I firmly declined to censor my speech and asked if anyone else had been asked to do so. The organizer said she would notify the others and see if I could still speak. I was informed via text about 10 minutes later that I was being cut as a speaker, but was still expected to participate. The organizer asked me if I’d like to discuss it and I immediately replied yes. Our conversation let me know that this organizer was whorephobic, and they did not in fact send my concerns to the others. This bias and discrimination was coming directly from her. I was pissed. I felt defeated and I felt betrayed.
I received a text from one of the organizers, asking me to censor my speech and cut out the aspects that addressed sex work or they would have to cut my speech.
This wasn’t the first time I had been treated like this by my peers. Normally I would push past it and raise hell. The event was in my neighborhood and I had just been barred from speaking. This was coming from someone who was supposed to be in community with me. It was so layered, and I had nothing left in my gas tank to carry on. I called a fellow Black Trans sex worker who was also supposed to speak and informed her of what occurred. I was concerned that she would be censored as well, to which she responded, “this is why I never send my speeches before”. Clearly this was a huge issue in our spaces: having to navigate censorship because of what we do for work.
I was determined not to go anymore, but my colleague convinced me to, at least out of spite. And to see if conversing in person would be more effective. We approached the organizer and my colleague confronted her on my behalf. I tried to speak up a couple times to no avail, and was grateful to have someone there to advocate for me. The exchange was truly vile and distasteful. This person at one point said, “It’s not the time or place”, to which my colleague replied, “If not now, when?!” Ultimately my colleague bulldozed her way into letting me speak. The organizer finally said, ''Fine. What do you want? You wanna speak? Fine, speak!”
All that whorephobia just to end up back where we started, me speaking. Lol. I was greeted with yas’s, claps, and snaps when I did finally speak. The community was obviously ready and willing to hear what a whore had to say. It was disheartening to see an organizer, who holds a degree of influence, wield that power to silence particular voices.
The exchange was truly vile and distasteful. This person at one point said, “It’s not the time or place”, to which my colleague replied, “If not now, when?!”
This is rampant amongst leftist spaces, even the most progressive ones. The ones who claim to be anarchists, marxists, and communists. The ones who spout, “Liberation for all”, but then censor and police entire communities. It’s truly ironic, isn’t it? As a sex worker, I absolutely expect it from right wing christian fundie pundits, but when it comes from people who are supposed to be your own? It really paints the picture as to how deep whorephobia goes. Exodus Cry and The National Center on Sexual Exploitation (NCOSE) are so good at spreading propaganda against sex work, that even the so-called progressives repeat their nonsensical rhetoric. It is truly criminal that we have to fight just for a seat at the table to not even have the mic. What occurred on May 13th last year is not an isolated incident; it persists among organizing sex workers worldwide, especially from fellow leftists. We put our lives on the line in the fight for our rights, yet our progress is hindered by those who should be standing alongside us. It’s holding our movement back. Conversely, the support from other sex working organizers and the sex work community is unmatched. We know exactly how lonely this work is, and root for each other in ways that cannot be outdone. Why is this energy not reciprocated from the left?
Sex workers have been historically marginalized, stigmatized, and criminalized in more ways than just within the carceral system. We've been pushed into such isolation that we've had to establish our own systems of mutual aid, community, and aid networks. We often hear that sex work wouldn’t exist under communism, but when we look at current models of this type of government, you find that it does. The exchange of sexual services will never end, no matter what governmental model we live under. Even in the fictional world of Star Trek, which purports itself as a Utopia that’s abolished money, sexual exchanges exist. What do you think those Dabo girls are doing on the side? Sex has long been bartered for, and will long continue to be. The issue is not sex work or sex workers, the issue is the ways in which both conservatives and progressives push us aside under the guise of protecting women. The ways in which leftists align themselves with organizations that are actively rooting for our deaths. If you’re spouting the same rhetoric as Republicans maybe it’s not bipartisan support, maybe it’s bigotry?
The exchange of sexual services will never end, no matter what governmental model we live under.
Society could learn something from us instead of discarding and dismissing us. It is exhausting being a sex worker, let alone advocating for our rights and protections. Every issue that exists intersects with sex work: LGBT+ rights, BIPOC rights, immigration, abortion, you name it. But astonishingly, many of these groups still find ways to exclude us, refusing to acknowledge or associate with us, even when we share community. They’ll invite us to shake ass and promote their event, but when it comes to solidarity we’re left on read. As soon as we want to talk about sex worker rights, all of a sudden it’s not the time or place. Marsha P. Johnson is always used as a symbol for Queer rights, but everyone leaves out the fact that she was a street based sex worker. Everyone idolizes Cardi B, but leaves out the part of her story where she was able to escape a DV situation because of stripping. How many posts and articles dedicated to Cecilia Gentili and her legacy as a Trans activist, but don’t mention her legacy fighting for sex worker rights. This comes from fellow community members, fellow queers, BIPOC folks, disabled folks –people who should be in solidarity with sex workers. Leftists are sitting there, “hiding critiques of an industry they themselves are not struggling to survive in'', as the homie Pomma always says. Regurgitating the very same vitriol as every radical feminist, SWERF, and TERF under the guise of “solidarity with workers not the industry”. Yet all this does is directly harm sex workers.
Historically, sex workers have been at the forefront of every social justice movement in existence. We were there for civil rights, harm reduction, Queer rights, Black Lives Matter, Free Palestine. We have been here fighting for the rights of all, because we know what it is to be thrown away by the law and society. In 2020 during the George Floyd protests, my friends and I were pulling cash out of our purses to bail people out. The very same people we bailed out, or got tear gassed with, were turning around and calling us “stupid ass hoes”. Tell me is this what solidarity looks like? Is this what liberation for ALL looks like? Is this the world you envision? A world in which sex workers can still be killed by people like The Long Island Serial Killer and get no justice. A world in which our deaths are labeled “No Human Involved” by the same cops that kill us. A world that treats us as targets instead of people. A world that would rather protect an abuser than give a sex worker the right to come home safely. “Be the change you want to see in the world”. Is this the world you are changing? Everyone wants to fuck like us, talk like us, suck like us, boss bitch like us but nobody wants to give us what we’re actually asking for.
Many of these groups still find ways to exclude us, refusing to acknowledge or associate with us, even when we share community. They’ll invite us to shake ass and promote their event, but when it comes to solidarity we’re left on read.
I was on the board of a racial justice org for over a year and I was excited at first, but over time I realized I was being tokenized. I was simply there to show that the org was diverse. I was constantly talked over, unheard, and dismissed by the org’s leader. During my onboarding, the leader of this org and I had a disagreement that turned into him slamming his hands on the table and yelling at me. Two other board members in attendance spoke up in my defence. I shut down completely and disassociated. I’ve had clients yell at me before, but I take my money and leave. To sit there completely powerless, with no money on the table to even somewhat rectify the situation, is quite frankly, fucking degrading. Throughout my time other things arose, such as my disability being mocked by this leader. It took me over a year to ask the board to help mediate a conflict resolution between the two of us. The board was behind me and all I wanted was for this person to take accountability and attend leadership courses to improve his skills. He refused entirely and I was subsequently removed from the board. I have not been able to acquire any kind of justice at all from this situation. This person is still in power and reaping all the associated benefits. Leftists and non profits want sex workers on their boards to be seen not heard, to speak only when spoken to. It speaks volumes when sex workers are admonished not to embrace their profession, yet opportunities are systematically withheld from them. Exit services are tantalizingly dangled before us, only to be retracted if we dare to assert ourselves.
There have been countless times in my life as a sex worker in which I’ve been belittled and isolated. Although it’s difficult for me to truly encapsulate the rejection, hurt, and harm, it is nothing compared to the pain of your peers doing it to you. The pain of repeating yourself over and over just to be constantly dismissed by your own community, practically begging your peers to care about you and leave their morality clauses behind. I think about quitting all the time because of how exhausting this work is. I remember being a much happier hooker when I wasn’t fighting with people on my side. I remember the hope and wonder I had, thinking a lil whore like me can change the world one conversation at a time. Life killed that dream Fantine dreamed in Les Misérables, but for me it was leftists.
Leftists and non profits want sex workers on their boards to be seen not heard, to speak only when spoken to.
Despite the challenges, I refuse to be silenced. The resilience of the sex work community fuels my determination to fight for justice and recognition. We deserve a seat at the table, not as tokens, but as equals, valued for our contributions and humanity. Reflecting on my experiences, I'm reminded of Marsha P. Johnson’s words: “our struggles are intertwined, our destinies interconnected.” It's time for the left to live up to its promises of solidarity and liberation for all, including sex workers.
My speech, uncensored:
In 1917, 200 prostitutes marched in San Francisco, which has been called the original women’s March, to demand an end to brothel closures. Sex workers are experts in mutual aid, consent, and organizing. We are consistently at the forefront of these movements. We have the least privilege and access to resources which is why we’ve had to create our own systems and take care of each other. Society could learn a lot from sex workers instead of always tossing us aside. I wouldn’t even say we’re an afterthought, we’re just not thought about. We are being targeted and murdered by the state and by violent people who believe we are cannon fodder. With the passing of these new gun laws, that has never been more of a reality.
The last couple months I have received numerous reports of sex workers being harmed, killed, or incarcerated. Most recently one of my friends was slashed with a knife and Koko Da Doll, a black trans sex worker, was murdered. She was targeted in Atlanta for being a transgender sex worker. This is happening more frequently and being overlooked because of the systemic stigma against sex workers. Sex work is not inherently dangerous, it is the laws, police and stigma that is killing us.
Migrants will come to this country, not have papers to be able to work, and will turn to sex work without the resources they need to be safer on the job. And now with this new anti immigration bill that passed, they are even more at risk. If we are to make the changes needed to have access to abortion, safe places to work, and other life saving resources we must include the most vulnerable among us. And that is sex workers.
The sex workers like myself that are vocal about these issues take great risk of being targeted by the state. So many sex workers have died fighting for our rights. Sex worker lives matter! I implore you all to walk away today and divorce yourself from whorephobia internally and externally. Listen to us. Truly hear us. Learn from us. Your feminism must include us. It must. We must be committed to not replicating the same systems of oppression used against all of us. If sex workers are not in the room when decisions are being made, that is dangerous for all of us. Puteria y vida!
Are you a sex worker with a story, opinion, news, or tips to share? We'd love to hear from you!
We started the tryst.link sex worker blog to help amplify those who aren't handed the mic and bring attention to the issues ya'll care about the most. Got a tale to tell? 👇☂️✨
