Sanctuary was an unexpected find in my Hulu Halloween recommendations sandwiched between traditional horror movies. It's billed as a psychological thriller, though I would hardly consider it that, but maybe vanilla people are really easily frightened. It does defy easy categorization, effortlessly genre-hopping to meld into what I can only describe as a “psychosexual screwball rom-com”.
The film features only two actors, Christopher Abbot and Margaret Qualley, and one set for its entirety. Sanctuary does this minimalism justice with great acting, and captivating storytelling. It kept me hooked, horny, laughing, and surprised.
The premise: Rich kid Hal (Christopher Abbot) is on the eve of inheriting his fathers highly profitable hotel chain. To prepare for his new role, or to seem worthy of it, he decides to end his long-standing relationship with Rebecca (Margaret Qualley), his Dominatrix. What follows is a surreal, erotic and often comedic power struggle between the two.
It’s no secret that representation for sex workers is cliché at best and harmful at its worst. Rarely do we see our stories told, and even rarer are they portrayed with authenticity, integrity, or neutrality. We are reduced to either victims or predators; trauma porn or a punchline. Even when we are given the benefit of character development, our work itself is still presented as an antagonist of the story. The hooker with a heart of gold cliché, she is morally good, kind, generous – presented as a contrast against her work. We are dehumanized and mocked or rescued and redeemed.
It does defy easy categorization, effortlessly genre-hopping to meld into what I can only describe as a “psychosexual screwball rom-com”.
Sanctuary breaks free from these conventions: we get a romcom where the sex work isn’t the punchline, and the sex worker is a multifaceted, complex individual. The value of her work is openly discussed and is presented without judgment. What a novel concept!
Spoilers Ahead - You’ve been warned.
One of the film's strengths is its ability to brilliantly articulate what it is Dommes actually do for our clients and the profound impact of our work. In session, we offer a reprieve, companionship, exploration, and a lot of fun – this is all pretty straightforward. But anyone who has participated in professional D/s knows that what we really offer is a refuge where one can be their truest self, free of societal trappings, shame, stigma. We hold up a mirror for you to see deep inside yourself. We inspire creativity, nurture confidence, and foster invaluable self growth. A sanctuary, if you will.
Hal tries to end their relationship by offering her a watch as severance. Rebecca is offended at the gesture. She responds with "I want what I’m worth relative to what you have." To be fair, the watch carries a 5 figure price tag, but what is a $50,000 watch to someone with infinite generational wealth? A drop in the bucket.
During their further negotiations, Rebecca asserts that Hal has her to thank for everything. She got him where he is and deserves exponential compensation for her invisible labor. She says: "When you first emailed me you could barely speak. […] I taught you how to ask for what you want; you couldn’t even do that when I met you [...] I am the one who made you believe you were capable enough to run this company."
She won’t take no for an answer – Rebecca knows her worth and isn’t afraid to fucking demand it. As negotiations go on, we find that Rebecca has additional motives. The negotiations aren’t all about the money. She confesses that she has left her fiance and vanilla job because she is in love with Hal. She talks about how when they are in scene, they both become better versions of themselves. Their dynamic is truly enviable. She knows he feels the same and challenges him to imagine a life where they both submit to something larger than themselves: love and vulnerability.
In light of the movie's themes, I found myself reflecting on how emotionally complex things can get for providers when our work relationships end.
The transactional nature of a Domme/client relationship is what allows us to channel so much of our energy repeatedly to so many different people. In turn, it enables clients to let go and be their full, vulnerable selves. The same boundary that permits clients the space to dig deep also offers providers a similar refuge to embrace different parts of themselves without fear. These relationships require an unparalleled level of trust and openness, making them a sacred exchange to share with another human being. The fact that our relationships are transactional doesn’t mean they aren’t also deeply meaningful: we may have a lot of mixed feelings when they end, especially if real emotions have become entangled.
Losing a substantial portion of one’s income sucks, but the deeper loss is that of losing a cherished lover and friend simultaneously, especially when the unique intimacy of D/s is part of the equation. On top of this, navigating the complexity of having built a unique, genuine connection with someone while portraying a character similar to, yet distinct from, your real self can be a total mindfuck. When real emotions bleed over from your 'whore-sona' into your actual life, it can get exceptionally hard to compartmentalize and existentially murky.
Losing a substantial portion of one’s income sucks, but the deeper loss is that of losing a cherished lover and friend simultaneously, especially when the unique intimacy of D/s is part of the equation.
I found myself wondering just how many sex workers have never gotten their dues for bestowing wisdom and confidence into powerful men. One of the things I love most about Rebecca is her refusal to let Hal write off the importance and authenticity of their connection, or underestimate just how much she has done for him. Even as Hal is fighting to end things with her, she is still pushing him towards self-discovery to be a better version of himself! It’s nice to see a sex worker demanding what she is rightfully owed, and come out on top.
I will acknowledge, Sanctuary does a play on a bit of the classic cliche – client rescues sex worker from ‘the life’. To its credit- this movie is all about everything ending on her terms. She was not courted or swooned; he is not trying to save her. She fought for what she wanted and got it.
Overall, "Sanctuary" defies expectations, offering a fresh perspective on sex work and D/s relationships. Despite its rom-com sensibilities, it’s anything but shallow. The film shines a spotlight on the complexities of sex work and the genuine connections that can develop within it.
Further reading: If you enjoyed Sanctuary’s exploration of D/s dynamics, try “Secretary” (2002) for a similar off-beat romance.
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