Several years ago in New Orleans, I was working for an agency – which means I was in a dimly-lit, luxury apartment in the central business district, with great AC, and a massage table. A booker working from home would take calls and book my clients, then text me the details.
I remember that I was a new mom with milk-filled breasts and new full hips when I saw a new client. A salt of the earth, white-haired, gave you the sense he could fix things around the house and also knew his way around an art museum and a library-type of client. He was easy and sweet and he enjoyed our session so much that, without prompting, he sent me his wife.
It was a few weeks, maybe months later, my memory fails me. She was lovely. It was her first time getting a professional sensual massage.
This open-minded, fifty-something year old wife was just a dream. She wore her blonde hair short. She was petite with big energy, filled with spunk and southern charm. We chatted before the session and she said – and I’ll never forget because it became my tagline – ‘You’re the erotic artist and I’m your canvas.’ I was charmed by her poetry.
She was receptive. She was soft and pretty and she had a bucking, explosive, infectious good time. The thing that really delighted me about her was the openness of her and her husband’s relationship. The fact that he shared his experience with her and she was open to it.
He enjoyed our session so much that, without prompting, he sent me his wife.
I believe, even though my married clients tend to disagree with me, that more wives than not would be open to a sensual massage session. I keep telling my husband-clients to stop being so selfish and to share the bliss!
I get that it's a big ask, in many cases it may require shifting the whole ingrained dynamic of a decades long relationship. I tend to think that even if your wives don’t want to come see me after being invited and gushed to, that the invitation and the shift that that conversation would require, could deeply benefit the relationship anyway. Radical honesty is an antiseptic in a relationship. Yes, it may burn but only because it's cleansing and protecting the bond from deeper harm, from the infection of deceit and duplicity.
It’s 2024 – we are no longer doing compulsory monogamy. Not that it makes you non-monogamous to see a sex worker. We are professionals. We provide safe, consensual, boundaried spaces for adults to enjoy their bodies and experience pleasure. So maybe I should stay instead, that in 2024, we are no longer stigmatizing pleasure professionals. We are no longer equating marriage or romantic partnership with ownership. If you approve of your partner going to the doctor but object to them going to get some somatic sex healing, you may be at odds with the body as a site of sacred pleasure magic. And I beg of you, find your way here, to unabashed and consensual bodily enjoyment. The water is fine. The benefits are many.
Husbands are coming and cumming anyway, so can we please stop leaving the wives, the women, out? I need all hands on deck for this initiative. I’m going to need all of the husbands and all of the providers to lovingly, gently, and sincerely invite the wives into the fold. This secret has been kept for too long. There is nothing bad or dirty or scandalous about consensual pleasure and it’s not meant to be just for cis-gendered heterosexual men. I love you husbands, but please stop being hogs and share.
It’s 2024 – we are no longer doing compulsory monogamy. Not that it makes you non-monogamous to see a sex worker.
Picture this: you stay home with the kids, the dishes, or making dinner while your sweet, devoted wife comes to see me. She gets an hour to 90 minutes of resting in pure bliss with no responsibilities, no guilt, no to-do lists. She gets to be worshiped, appreciated, and to have her pleasure and relaxation prioritized. You have dinner on the table when she comes home. She breezes through the door, glowing. She feels like a new woman. A woman you haven’t seen in years or maybe even a woman you’ve never met. Who is this satisfied, confident, sexy, relaxed, woman with a flush in her cheeks and a skip in her step? You are excited to get to know her. She smiles and laughs more easily, more loosely than usual. The domestic habits have been broken up, shook up, shifted. You share a nightcap and some teasing sensual touch that makes you feel like you did on your first date all over again. Who would have thought that sharing your own sexy self care practice with your wife would have such a sparkling, sweet effect on your connection?
I would have thought. That’s why I’ve been telling you: send me your wife.
And this is an invitation to all women, all trans, non-binary, gender nonconforming and gender-expansive folks too. Whether your husband is coming to me or not, whether you have a husband or not, this work is for you. I include the story of the wife, although through the years I have seen handfuls of cis and trans women, as well as non-binary and trans masculine clients. And yet the majority of my clients are still cis-het men. I believe that is largely because others don’t believe that sex healing work is for them, too. That a session with a pro can also be extremely hot, transformative, rejuvenating and healing for everyone. I’m on a mission to shift the culture ever so slightly to call in more women, more wives, more trans and non-binary clients. Just because something is a long-held norm – like that of cis men being the only sex work clients – does not mean it is as it should be.
Everyone deserves to feel good, pampered and sexy. Everyone deserves a safe space to be touched and to prioritize their sexual, sensual self. Now, go have a talk with your wives, the women and trans folks in your life. I’ll be expecting them.
Are you a sex worker with a story, opinion, news, or tips to share? We'd love to hear from you!
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