For queer people and sex workers alike, a huge part of the way we survive and eventually thrive is through access to communities full of people like us who can offer support. Queer sex workers have more trouble than most when it comes to finding spaces where we are welcome. Not all resources for sex workers will be created with queer people in mind, and not all resources for queer people will be created with sex workers in mind. It is vital that as we create support networks, we make sure they’re accessible to people who live within these intersecting identities.
If you’re a person who wants to support queer sex workers, especially if you are queer yourself, here are some ways you can do so.
Talking to your queer sex worker friends
All of the stigma around sex work means that it can be very hard to come out as a sex worker to friends and family, for fear of how they might react. There is an added layer of concern for queer sex workers, which can be that people may attempt to invalidate our sexualities or accuse us of playing into stereotypes, and attracting discrimination because of our work.
If your lesbian friend tells you that she has been selling sex to men, this does not mean she is suddenly not a lesbian. The vast majority of clients are men, so often the only way to earn a living through sex work is to cater to them. Who someone sells sex to tells you nothing about who they are attracted to, in the same way that someone’s customers in civilian jobs don’t give you an insight into the kind of people they are interested in. Actions are not the same as attraction. Don’t treat your lesbian friends as if they’re bisexual or straight or in any way less of a lesbian, just because you learn they’re sex workers!
While lesbians often have their sexualities invalidated, gay men are more likely to be accused of playing into stereotypes about gay men being sex obsessed and hypersexual, alongside bisexual workers of any gender. Queer people should not cower to the demands of homophobes or change our behaviour to comply with their bigotry; even if every queer sex worker were to stop selling sex, homophobes would continue to spew their bigoted hatred. Be someone who reminds your queer sex worker friends that there is nothing wrong with them or what they do for work.
Beyond avoiding the harmful things you might say thoughtlessly, you can also make it known that you’re willing to be an outlet for them to discuss their sex work, and how it might impact the way they feel about their sexuality and gender. Sometimes we just need someone who will listen.
Hosting queer events
A significant chunk of the queer community has some experience in sex work, yet LGBTQ+ events don’t always have a visible contingent of sex workers. For more queer sex workers to attend, the events need to show solidarity with us in their messaging and how they’re set up.
If cops are invited to attend events, sex workers are unlikely to want to be there, and certainly not openly. Not allowing the police to attend, or limiting their presence as much as possible when their presence is unavoidable, is a great first step. Make this anti-cop stance known, rather than leaving it to be assumed, so sex workers don’t fear being recognized or mistreated.
For those who are organizing queer events that cost money, or where things are sold, they should be cash-friendly. It might not be obvious to some that this is vital for helping sex workers to attend, due to banking discrimination and the fact that in-person sex workers are overwhelmingly paid in cash, we may not be able to pay through other means.
Knowing your history
There have always been sex workers within the queer rights movement. Marsha P. Johnson and Sylvia Rivera are now well-known names in the queer community, yet not many people know the specifics of their experiences as sex workers, and how they housed queer sex workers through STAR (Street Transvestite Action Revolutionaries). By making the effort to educate yourself on trans, gay, lesbian, and bisexual sex workers who have been involved in the movement for queer liberation, you can see how these movements have failed their sex working participants in the past, and strive not to make those mistakes in future.
Though it is still the case that a much higher proportion of LGBTQ+ people sell sex than members of the cishet population, this was even more true in the recent past when homophobic and transphobic discrimination was even worse than it is now. The high historical prevalence of queer people in sex work means that whorephobia and anti-queer forms of bigotry are tightly twined together and cannot be fully separated.
All non-sex working queer people should be aware that if they were born in a slightly different time period and circumstance, they too might have ended up doing sex work simply to survive, because there weren’t a lot of other options. Being aware of this helps every sex worker ally to have more empathy for those who are in that position now.
Financial support
One of the most effective ways you can support queer sex workers, as is true for all sex workers, is to give us money. This includes not only donating to fundraisers for sex workers who are in crisis, but also paying for your porn rather than watching stolen content or surfing only the free promotional content sex workers put out there, so that less of us end up struggling in the first place.
There is less of a demand for certain types of queer sexual content, which means that queer porn actors can struggle to find studios that will work with them, and often have only a small client pool for their own independent content. Paying for that hard work allows us to earn enough to survive, whilst also supporting the creation of more queer content in the endless sea of straight porn.
When it comes to fundraisers, trans sex workers in particular are likely to have them to help gather the money necessary for different aspects of medical transition. Supporting these campaigns with the money you can spare, allows them access to surgery or HRT more quickly and safely. It also means that they don’t have to do more sex work to pay for their transition if they don’t want to. So many of us sell sex in increasingly dangerous situations out of desperation, to reduce our dysphoria, and you can help provide the money that allows us to stop doing so.
However you show your support, actively working in solidarity with queer sex workers allows us to create a stronger movement for queer rights and sex workers’ rights. Your queer sex working siblings thank you for the effort.
Are you a sex worker with a story, opinion, news, or tips to share? We'd love to hear from you!
We started the tryst.link sex worker blog to help amplify those who aren't handed the mic and bring attention to the issues ya'll care about the most. Got a tale to tell? 👇☂️✨
