“Brand” is a word we sometimes associate with faceless corporations, tacky logos, and somewhat cringey social media talk. It’s seemingly the complete antithesis of the other word we use just as frequently in escort circles – “authenticity”.
That can change when escorts recognise ourselves as being made of many parts. We all have different versions of ourselves that we present to the world. The “me” that makes friendly small talk with neighbours is not the “me” who spends her weekends selecting the perfect lingerie, nor the “me” who likes to curl up alone with a book. Yet, all those versions of me are part of the same, real person.
When it comes to sex work, a “brand” is just one of those versions of ourselves. This is a version that we present to the outer world with the specific goals of getting the clients we truly want, and maintaining a long career. In a sense, a brand is actually about tapping into our authentic desires, through the practices of play, masquerade, dress up and fantasy.
“Brand” is a word we sometimes associate with faceless corporations, tacky logos, and somewhat cringey social media talk.
Unfortunately, as I found out in the early days of sex work, it doesn’t really work to just throw yourself into a photoshoot, hoping that your brand will find itself. Pinpointing our brand is about pinpointing a part of ourselves. It takes consideration to realise what we’re trying to communicate to our colleagues and clients. After a lot of trial and error, I found my brand. To save others some time, here are some tips I picked up along the way.
The first step is to consider what your favourite booking has looked like so far. This is the kind of booking that you felt positive about on the way home. Chances are that even thinking about this lightly will make a certain kind of booking you’ve had float into your mind. The reason doesn’t have to be big. It just has to be a hook, giving you an insight into what you intuitively do and don’t like in sex work.
The side of you that came out in this booking is the essence of your brand. Maybe you’re a naturally friendly person, and enjoyed being extra sweet in that one booking, feeding off the rush it gave you. You could consider being a girl next door. Or, maybe you had a kink booking request, and while you didn’t care for the kink, you enjoyed dressing up. You could consider role play being a part of your brand. The point is, the possibilities are endless.
It doesn’t really work to just throw yourself into a photoshoot, hoping that your brand will find itself.
Once you’ve got more of an idea of who you liked being in this booking, think about the logistics. How did it slot into your day? What did you do to get ready? How was the journey? What kind of conversation did you have with your client? What skills did you use when you got there? Did you tap into any other interests you have? Lastly – how easy was it to arrange the admin side of things, from advertising to processing the payment?
This process will help you transform your favourite booking from a hazy memory to a procedure with concrete steps. You can organise your work as much as possible around systems that work for you, not against you. When I’ve thought this way, I’ve been able to pinpoint exactly what I like in sex work, and exactly what I need to do to make it happen.
Sometimes, you’ll have bookings you know you really want, but a version of you might come out that doesn’t quite match up. When I first started working as a domme, I would be excited going into sessions, but I’d come out exhausted. My softly spoken voice was never harsh enough for my clients, who wanted a “classic” submissive experience. If I did try to put on a show, I could never keep it up for long and would find myself deflating half way through, leaving my clients confused and disappointed.
You can organise your work as much as possible around systems that work for you, not against you.
It took me a while to realise that part of branding is being creative and flexible. If there’s an incongruence between bookings we want and our authentic selves, we simply need to adapt our bookings to who we really are. Yes, I’m gentle and calm – but now I play with being an unflappable domme, smiling and laughing while I command my increasingly flustered sub to worship me. There’s no direct relation between different personalities and brands – just finding our strengths and working to them.
The most important thing about pinpointing your brand is that it takes time. In my experience, it’s like slow cooking a sauce. Recipes and ingredients make the base, but over time, only adjusting to your taste creates the flavour. The more you pinpoint your brand, the more clients you’ll get that you align with, and the better range you’ll have to choose an ideal booking from, over and over. As a result, your idea of what you want to do in sex work will shift many times. This is a great thing. It means that as sex workers, we’re not at the mercy of some nebulous idea of a brand; we’re actively creating what we want to present to the world.
Are you a sex worker with a story, opinion, news, or tips to share? We'd love to hear from you!
We started the tryst.link sex worker blog to help amplify those who aren't handed the mic and bring attention to the issues ya'll care about the most. Got a tale to tell? 👇☂️✨
