For independent sex workers, social media isn’t optional anymore. It’s how we promote our services or content, share a little of our personality with clients, and connect with our peers in an industry that keeps us isolated. While it may help us to market ourselves and build community, social media can also be an overwhelming presence, sucking up all our time and leaving us frazzled, stressed, and burnt out.
What is social media burnout and how does it show up?
Social media burnout can result from an unhealthy relationship to “the apps” and can look a lot of different ways.
Unsustainable habits
It might be that feeling of resentment or dread every time you open the app. Or you feel exhausted or upset at the thought of scrolling the feed, but you still open the app out of habit, boredom, or requirement. Social media may be a major part of the work of being a sex worker, but the imperative to engage with these apps can be negative and draining.
Comparison
“Comparison is the thief of joy,” goes the old saying. Social media can leave us feeling deficient when we see our peers posting about their bag, their big spenders, their “booked and busy” life. The “success mentality” behind posting means platforms are the place where we present an image of our best selves. But we’re also seeing a curated version of everyone else’s best moments, best angles, best stories. It can make us feel as if we’re not good enough or not successful enough in comparison.
Deplatforming
Sex workers also have a specific threat hanging over us when it comes to social media: deplatforming. Too many of my peers have lost their social media accounts following inscrutable decisions made by Meta and X (formerly Twitter.) Citing ‘community guidelines’, platforms may suspend your account for anything they deem to go against those guidelines, often with no recourse. The stress of never knowing when the “big hand" will come down, and the devastation of losing your communication and organising portal is real.
How do I set social media boundaries?
The best way to foster a healthy relationship to social media when you have no choice but to use it, is to set some firm boundaries. These rules and tools for engagement can help you to build a maintainable social media practice that allows for advertising and community building without driving you up the wall.
Set limits
Don’t browse social media throughout the day. Give yourself a chunk of time for posting, scrolling, and engaging with your followers, then close the app and don’t open it again. Social media for work is work and we wouldn’t want to work 24/7, right? Constantly checking our notifications and scrolling the feed for news, community gossip, and hot takes does nothing but fragment our attention and drain us. You don’t need to know about every “like” or respond to every comment as it happens. If you find yourself struggling to keep to your limits, there are plenty of apps and settings on your phone that can help.
Take apps off your phone
We can’t mindlessly scroll through social media apps on our phones if they aren’t there. Remove these apps from your phone if you can, or keep them on your work phone only. Or try making social media a “computer only” task. Accessing social media through our laptops or desktops changes the way our brains engage with it, creating a “container”—separate to our phone.
Schedule your posts
Rather than posting throughout the day, you can schedule your posts within the best times for engagement. This way you’re not tempted to spend more time on social media than you’ve allotted, and you’re not fragmenting your day or your attention by constantly opening the app. Queue a few posts every day in your scheduled social media time, and forget about it!
Turn off notifications
There’s nothing more distracting than seeing that notification badge on your phone screen. If you’re anything like me, you can’t ignore it. We need that dopamine hit! That’s why switching off notifications can help reduce your stress around social media. Is it so important to see those likes and comments as soon as they occur? No! They aren’t going anywhere, and can wait for your allotted social media time.
Curate your feed
The feed can be so stressful, especially as our world descends further into chaos. I know my feed consists mostly of terrible news: the newest atrocity, cursed hot takes, and other distressing content. While it’s important not to look away from what’s happening in the world (even if you don’t do politics, politics will do you!) it’s also important to ensure you don’t become overwhelmed by it. One way to do this is to curate your feed. Make use of lists, turn off retweets, and clear out your followers if the chaos is getting to you. This way, we can engage with the world when we are prepared for it, instead of facing the onslaught every time we open the app.
Build community offline too
Social media can be a beautiful way to meet other sex workers for friendship or organising. Connecting digitally with others who share your profession, views, and interests is powerful in a landscape that works so hard to keep us isolated. But online connections only go so far. Turn those mutuals into real-life friends or comrades. Build a real-world community so that you need to rely less on social media. Ask that mutual out to lunch! Join that organisation you follow. There’s nothing like the power of human connection, or reminding ourselves the ephemeral world of online spaces blunt us to it. Be brave and get out there!
Social media is an important tool for sex workers, but it doesn’t need to overwhelm your life. If you find that the online social spaces are draining you, take the time to institute some rules and procedures to ensure you don’t burn out. Use social media, don’t let it use you.
Are you a sex worker with a story, opinion, news, or tips to share? We'd love to hear from you!
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