Growing up, my most prominent fixation was Pokemon. Watching the anime, playing the mainline and side games, collecting the cards, reading the Pokemon Special Adventures manga, even watching video essays on Youtube; if there was a way to consume Pokemon, I would do it. However, when you like a franchise for so long, it’s bound to drop a few balls and eventually I grew a bit bored, even if I was still replaying my favorite games over and over again as a form of comfort.
When I was in middle school, I discovered Nuzlockes, a self-imposed set of rules to make mainline Pokemon games more challenging and a refreshing way to enjoy previous games in a new light. The main rules include nicknaming all of your Pokemon to grow attached to them, only capturing the first Pokemon you encounter on each route, and if a Pokemon faints, they “die” and can be either added to a “graveyard” PC storage box or released. Through this set of rules, it was actually possible to not only lose your favorite Pokemon, but to lose the run as a whole. I came upon Nuzlockes because I discovered people were making webcomics about their own runs, embellishing the story, giving their individual teammates distinctive personalities, and giving their adventures a dark twist upon losing a Pokemon.
It was fascinating to not only experience Pokemon this way, but also the sense of community it brought. It was like people were using the games as building blocks to create completely different experiences to what the intended game was supposed to be. It almost felt like fans were creating their own game and sharing their experience of it with everyone else through their comics. I thought it was beautiful how people could not only find a new joy over an old game, but to also share those emotions with others through art. I had even started my own Nuzlocke run of Pokemon Emerald and drafted some webcomic pages but never ended up completing it.
As I got older and more Pokemon games were released on various systems, I grew increasingly frustrated with the quality of some newer games. Maybe I was overly critical due to playing for years, but I found that they lacked a lot of the charm and quality of life changes that made the earlier generations of Pokemon so memorable. It felt like an ingredient was left out of a loved recipe and at this point, I was mainly playing Nuzlockes or watching other people’s Nuzlocke runs to try and satiate my taste.
It was fascinating to not only experience Pokemon this way, but also the sense of community it brought.
Then I finally discovered fan made Pokemon games and the world of ROM hacks. People were taking elements of mainline games played on emulators and creating their own stories, evil teams, even creating their own “Fakemon” or fake Pokemon. It was the ultimate “by us, for us” experience for people who loved the games but also wanted more. I’ve discovered some of the most amazing storylines, characters, and varied experiences through these games, with some even incorporating play styles from different games altogether. There are whole communities based around these various fan made games, with so many in existence that it truly is a whole world to explore. I never would’ve thought that my favorite way to consume Pokemon as an adult was going to be through fan made Pokemon games, but the creation of these games is such a labor of love and a showcase of the creative ingenuity from the teams and individuals involved that I can’t help but love them.
Be it self imposed rules or fan made games, these playstyles all have something in common in my mind: an extra human touch. In Korean cooking, there’s a saying called “sonmat” which directly translated means “hand taste”, it’s used to compliment excellent cooking technique and skill. I know it’s a little odd to think of video games as something with “sonmat”, but I feel like the extra human touch that comes from the fans who put the extra effort in to make the experience more enjoyable is the same “sonmat” that makes a dish more delicious. Even if there aren’t all the bells and whistles of official games, these games are made with the same love and care as a homemade meal.
While I enjoy my fixations outside of work, I’ve been incredibly lucky to be able to connect with clients as fellow fans. I admittedly made a porn that parodies a well-known meme about a specific Water-type Pokemon, which is how some have found me. I’ve been blessed enough to also have clients who share my love of fan made games or will even open booster card packs together with me. It’s incredibly freeing and sometimes it amazes me that I’m able to connect with another person over mutual interests on a personal level while still being fully in my sexual element. I absolutely adore these aspects of my work and the experience I’m able to create.
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