We cannot logically and ethically advocate for the decriminalization of sex work and not also be proponents of the decriminalization of everything and everyone as well as the abolition of borders and the entire social construction of crime.
Our movements and our activism must be rooted in the respect and love for the humanity of everyone or the roots are weak, it’s a position of hypocrisy. This means when we say decriminalize sex work we also mean decriminalize drug use, drug users and sellers of drugs. We also mean decriminalize Trans people. Let them live, be safe and thrive. Let them have access to gender affirming healthcare. Show them love and reverence. Decriminalize all people.
Criminalizing sex workers hurts everyone. It hurts not only sex workers and clients by putting us in danger of being harassed, abused, raped and arrested by cops and civilians, but it encourages and emboldens misogyny towards all femme workers and civilians. Violence and stigma directed at sex workers points us to a deep and disturbing truth; the control, regulation, criminalization, and punishment of women and all non-cis-het-male bodies and sexuality for diverting from a narrowly defined acceptable range of behavior and performance is and has been normalized since the beginning of colonization.
Sex worker rights are a women, trans and gender non-conforming issue not because women and trans people are forced and trafficked into this work, it is because this is work where we can flip the script on being constantly hyper-sexualized everywhere and demand that we be compensated for it.
The criminalization of sex work sends this message not only to sex workers but to all trans people, gender non-conforming folks and women: You could not possibly have control of your own body and choose to consensually engage with another in exchange for the capital that is necessary to live in this world, because your very existence within this patriarchy and according to our laws, is one of subservience. In the case of trans and GNC folks, according to our laws your very existence within this patriarchy is a fallacy. We sexualize you to sell products, we classify your gender at birth, violently forcing you into a lie our sick ancestors invented to bolster racism which bolstered capitalism. We criminalize and stigmatize your self identification as perverse because it is a deep threat to our violent and oppressive social order.
Further, the narrative of so many laws in the U.S. which conflate all sex work with sex trafficking purposefully puts autonomous adults in the category of victims, because according to the framework of the sexist, transphobic institutions we exist within, there is no space for the reality that non-cis-men may have, investigate, and god forbid capitalize on our bodily autonomy.
The SESTA/ FOSTA bills passed in 2018 and made it more dangerous for us to work. These bills conflated all sex work with sex trafficking and possibly paved the way for one of our main advertising sites, backpage, to be shut down (although back page was seized just before they passed it’s been implied that the introduction of these awful bills made the seizure easier). The bills put pressure on advertising websites and websites where we could share client info to keep each other safe, criminalizing them for colluding with us. These websites never felt like Allies or like they were much more than trying to profit off us but it was what we had to work with and we made it work.
In 2018 I was in New Orleans and we (a group of local sex workers) started getting together after SESTA/FOSTA. We were having meetings where one old domme was hyped on starting a physical paper for ads and distributing it. We had tech savvy Sex Workers giving us tips on cyber security with the new cold front coming down from the state. Those of us who are white, cis or read as cis to our clients, occupy a place of greater privilege and chances are we faced less danger as we have always been granted a modicum of more safety than our Trans, POC sex worker comrades who do not have a stable incall for work. Still, an unstable and uncertain online atmosphere affected us all. We scrambled. We received texts from strand phone numbers; would-be-traffickers looking to take us in. In a hypocritical turnaround typical for these violent anti-sex workers and their legislation, anti-trafficking bills actually increased trafficking. I made business cards; purposefully vague with a photo of my legs. I left them in sex toy stores. I placed ads on new sites, it seemed like a new site popped up everyday. I had a sugar daddy at the time which granted me the privilege of some steady monthly income which caused me to worry a little less. But I was wanting to move several states away and starting over somewhere new in this new more hateful landscape was scary.
Switter came and went, we had high hopes but this version of twitter only for sex workers never hit the way we wished it would. We survived, sometimes even thrived, as we do. Because you can’t keep a good whore down.
The feminists and conservatives who infantilize us, get off on acting out their own immense saviour complex, they seem to wilfully miss the point. By speaking for us and assuming to know better than us what is best for us, they let us know that what they are invested in is not our well being at all, it never was. They are invested in controlling those of us whose behavior or life choices threaten their own understanding of the world. That understanding is built on oppression and its foundation is crumbling more with every movement we make toward liberation for all.
Decriminalization is a step. Re-envisioning a world where we drop the construct of criminality, abolish prisons, and borders and enact community oriented transformative justice in preventative, experimental, conscientious ways is the work. And many times these safe intimate spaces that we create as sex workers, spaces for our clients to experience deep sensual pleasure, to navigate and learn about intimate communication and consent, this is the practice, to create the spaces for and with folks who are so different from us, this is a practice in creating more safety, agency and space for a growth that fluctuates through relationship building, from relationship to relationship, outside of the state and it’s oppressive hateful forces.
We need to decriminalize not only sex work but all of humanity.
Are you a sex worker with a story, opinion, news, or tips to share? We'd love to hear from you!
We started the tryst.link sex worker blog to help amplify those who aren't handed the mic and bring attention to the issues ya'll care about the most. Got a tale to tell? 👇☂️✨
