As an Adult Entertainer, aka Sex Worker, this lifestyle can get pretty lonely. Especially for those of us that aren’t close to our family, or simply never had people in our lives to call family. It’s pretty common to adopt strangers that later on become close friends as family too.
Either way, whether you have blood relatives that you’re super close to, or people in your life that you consider to be family - even though you don’t share genetic makeup, there’s always that question, “Should I come out to my family?”, “Can I tell my family that I’m a sex worker?”, “What if I just keep it a secret?”. Sure we’ve all had those thoughts, and the truth is, TECHNICALLY you do NOT have to come out to your family. Coming out is optional.
“Should I come out to my family?”, “Can I tell my family that I’m a sex worker?”, “What if I just keep it a secret?”.
You’re an adult first, before you’re an entertainer or provider. Secondly, you know your family better than I do or anyone else. Ultimately it’s really up to you if you want to come out to your family or not. You know how judgmental your family can be, you know if your family is religious, or has specific beliefs. Only you know your family the best because they are related to you! If you’re like me, someone who is super close to their family and tells them everything, then maybe you SHOULD come out to your family.
If you have a great bond with your family, then 9 times out of 10 your family would support you, your family would thank you for having the courage to even come out to them, and most importantly they would be proud of you too! There might even be cases with those of you that are close to your family, where your family already knows what you do and was just waiting for you to confirm.
Now, coming out to family isn’t always going to be peaches and cream. It can honestly go left or right! What I mean by going “left”, (for those of you that aren’t fluent in AAVE), is that things can go really wrong or bad. Sometimes you can be super close to your family, and you would imagine that coming out to them wouldn’t be a big deal and that they would accept you, but then you’re met with the exact opposite of that expectation.
You’re suddenly hit with shocked faces, dropped jaws, looks of disgust, some family members leaving, others “cutting you off”, some even going as far as slut shaming you! Yeah, it can honestly get that bad.
That’s one of the many reasons a lot of Entertainers choose to keep this part of their lives a secret, especially from family. Some of us can’t take that risk. Some of us would rather keep our lifestyle secret, than to have our family be mad at us or disown us.
If you do decide to come out to your family though, please be prepared for the outcome. Really write down the pros and cons of letting your family know what you do for work. Going in prepared, expecting the unexpected can help you to feel a little more calm when speaking to your family. Again, this isn’t something that’s absolutely necessary for you to do, it’s up to you! If your family accepts you after you come out to them, please cherish your family because you are blessed and lucky to have a family that loves and accepts you no matter what.
If your family doesn’t accept you when you come out, and they attempt to slut shame you, please keep in mind they are only operating from fear of the unknown. That kind of family is usually closed minded and just afraid for you. Do your best not to take their judgment to heart, because they simply don’t understand and may never be able to understand. Don’t fault them for it, but at the same time feel proud of yourself for coming out anyway.
Never feel pressured or rushed to tell your family about what you do. As long as you’re doing your best (and staying safe), it doesn’t matter if your family knows or not. Also be aware that if you’re marketing yourself online, your family may know what you do. But it’s like so what? You’re an adult, you make your own decisions, and your peace of mind is what matters the most! By the way, slut shaming is impossible when you’re a CONFIDENT hoe!
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