A Tryst With With Oakland Escort Delphine

A Tryst With With Oakland Escort Delphine

. 16 min read

Thanks for joining us for our sex worker interview series 'A Tryst With...' Today we're speaking with Oakland Escort Delphine about self-esteem, activists, and cosplay!

We’d love to know a little of your backstory - how did you get here and what do you do?

I recall finding escorts in the phone book when I was young and asking what that was about. When I found out, I thought it sounded fun, much to the horror of the adults in the room!

I started sex work in my very early 20’s. At first, I dabbled with sugaring through Craigslist mostly. I was a terrible sugar baby, mainly because I wasn’t really ready to do sex work at that time, but I was still curious. I also did a few somewhat sketchy gigs on Craigslist, like “guy-with-camera” model gigs, quick foot fetish sessions, etc. What motivated me to try it at that time was that I was sexually open and pretty broke!

My first, more official sex work gig came in 2011. Under a completely different persona (shhh, don’t ask, it’s my little secret!), I did some niche porn, and worked behind-the-scenes for a porn company. It was very valuable to learn about photography, modeling, and the unique marketing needs of the porn industry. It also connected me to the Bay Area sex work community, which has been so helpful and supportive over the course of my career.

I quit that in 2015 and soon after started pro-domme work (also under a different persona). I was always very kinky and had picked up a lot of professional-level domme skills while working in porn. I worked at a local fetish house. It had its quirks and issues, but it was a great place to connect with other dommes and learn about doing session work. Soon after I went independent as a domme, sometime in 2016.

Then, In 2017 I wondered if I could make more money through escorting, so I went to work at an agency and created Delphine. I honestly expected to hate escorting, but after my first session, I felt like it was actually my calling and perhaps my life’s work. 

Working at an agency was a great way to start, but for me, it had a lot of the same challenges that any job with a boss or manager might have. I feel the happiest when I am working for myself. But, again, it was a great way to learn the business and learn more about screening and safety in a structured environment, in addition to making connections with other SW.

I actually didn’t get that much business when I was at the agency and not doing my own marketing. I started doing a bit of my own marketing before FOSTA/SESTA and found more success that way. After FOSTA/SESTA hit, I immediately started going full blast on my own marketing and setting the stage to go independent. That is when I really leaned into being Delphine.

Each step of my sex work journey has led me to find more stability and more confidence in myself. I’m so incredibly grateful. Before sex work I was wandering around in marketing, making low salaries as a new grad, and envisioning a life full of student loan debt, medical debt, credit card debt, and feeling trapped by an unfulfilling career. Sex work has allowed me to become debt-free, improve my income and quality-of-life, and become more empowered about the trajectory of my life, in addition to making incredible connections with sweethearts and other SW. It’s not just the financial aspects that have been transformative. The work itself, and all the connections I’ve made have also been a positive force in my life.

At this point, I am a GFE escort, and I also offer sensual dominant GFE sessions, combining my domination skills with GFE. Sometimes it’s purely sensual. Sometimes it’s about exploring the world and each other.

In my kink sessions, I’m a sensual dominant and combine the sweetness of GFE with my favorite kinks like cuckolding, bisexual encouragement, teasing, chastity, bondage, sensory play, gender play, and bondage in addition to humiliation ranging from gentle to brutal, among other things. My dominant GFE is like your fun but kinky girlfriend who has you wrapped around her little finger. 

I believe there is such magic in just being fully present with another person, and that is the magic I try to bring to my sessions. Connection, sensuality, and intimacy are all important to me.

I’ve also seen the transformative power of kink. We deal with so many of our insecurities by eroticizing them. It’s powerful for me to create and hold a framework for someone to unleash what is perhaps their deepest and most secret desire. And, it’s not always that deep. Sometimes it’s just something they always wanted to try, and that’s really fun too.

I’m grateful to work in both of these ways.

At this point, I’ve been Delphine for nearly 8 years. I have a few sweethearts I’ve been seeing nearly the whole time I’ve been Delphine. I’ve forged really meaningful friendships and relationships within the bounds of what I offer as an escort and Domme. It’s really such an honor!

How has the industry changed since you started?

The industry has changed SO MUCH. I remember the first time I put my own ad up on NightShift (RIP) as an escort in 2017, I got 3 clients in one day. Even though I charged a lot less then, it felt like a life changing way to make money. And of course, the way that I started sex work in general in my early 20’s would not even be possible now. There is no Craigslist Personals, and I’ve seen tons of ad sites come and go.

In just the 8 years I’ve been Delphine, it has become more and more important to have tight branding, social media, show personality, be consistent, be communicative, etc. You need to be an influencer, an account manager, a customer service rep, a travel agent, a tour guide, a restaurant reviewer, a marketing expert, a writer, a photographer, a videographer, a model, an art director, a makeup artist, a stylist, and a bonafide goddess all in one.

You’re in your late thirties now, but began sex work in your early 20’s. What has it been like getting older in the industry?

It’s been really interesting, and it’s honestly been great for my self esteem. Now that I’m deeper into my 30s, I’m very solid in who I am and what my boundaries are. I am attracting people who I get along with, who have similar interests to me, and who appreciate me for me. I’m also attracting people who appreciate the boundaries that this type of arrangement offers.

I have been told that I look a bit younger than my actual age, but having my clients enjoy how I look has helped me to get past worries about some of the slight and slow changes of aging. It has taught me that we are our own worst critics.

I can look in the mirror and think that I notice a wrinkle, or something like that. But, I’ve learned it’s really something only I can see. Most people, when they look at you, are taking in the whole picture and appreciating everything. It’s been a good lesson!

What is your favourite part of sex work culture? What communities, people, places, and memories are important to you as a sex worker?

I am so lucky to be in the Bay Area where there is such a huge community of sex workers. There are some people in the community here that I’ve known for nearly 15 years. Even if we’re not close friends, it’s nice to have those long-standing connections. There are often a few sex worker potlucks or gatherings each month.

Most of my friends are sex workers. We help and support each other and are able to share the most intimate, meaningful, and frustrating parts of our work with each other. I am grateful to have a long list of people to do duos with who are actually my friends. I am also grateful because I know there are people in other places who work in relative isolation and/or secrecy.

The Bay is such a special place for sex workers, especially sex work activism. It’s where Margo St. James, a sex work activist who died in 2021, started COYOTE (Call Off Your Old Tired Ethics). It’s where Carol Leigh, another beloved sex work activist who died in 2022, co-founded BAYSWAN (Bay Area Sex Worker Action Network). The Bay Area used to be home to the St. James Infirmary, a clinic that unfortunately closed in 2023. They provided all sorts of services to sex workers. We also have the Sex Worker Film Fest every two years, which was originally started by Carol Leigh. We sex workers still benefit from the work that these and many other amazing activists did.

So I guess one of my favorite things about sex work culture is the fierce history of activism. And there are people around today who are continuing that tradition. For example, BAWS (Bay Area Workers Support) is a local organization that creates opportunities for sex workers to connect, provides mutual aid, and provides essential information and resources for sex workers.

I also love that sex workers are generally so smart and talented. Every time I talk to one of my SW friends, I discover a new skill or impressive achievement.

You’re a provider with body hair. Why have you decided to be hairy and what does it bring to your work/sessions?

When I was going to take my first photos for the agency where I started, I said “Oh, I guess I need to shave my armpits.” And the manager told me that I should do what I want, and that there are people who enjoy “hirsute” women. So I decided to keep it! It’s honestly much easier that way. I don’t have to worry about hair removal or how any hair removal process will affect my skin. It feels like a healthy choice for me.

I originally stopped shaving because, in my early 20s, I would get waxed. After a breakup more than 10 years ago, I asked myself who I was really doing the waxing for. It was expensive. It was painful. The process of the hair growing back was also uncomfortable. Why should I get rid of hair that grows naturally on my body? Plus, I think the hair is cute. So, I just decided to stop. If anyone wants to be with me then they will enjoy all the parts of me, including the hair that grows out of my body!

I didn’t realize how much of a fetish it can be for people until I started escorting. At this point, many of my sweethearts are not hairy fetishists. They are just people who enjoy me, and I happen to be hairy, so they enjoy that about me. But I do have some sweeties who really love and appreciate the bush. I feel like it can bring a different dimension to my sessions.

Sometimes I’ll meet someone who wants to try being with someone hairy. Other times it’s someone who is a hairy fetishist. More often than not, it’s someone who thinks we would get along well, and I just happen to be hairy. I appreciate them all!

What has sex work taught about beauty standards? 

Sex work has taught me that beauty standards are kind of bunk. I see a lot of non sex workers on social media who have this idea that everyone is only attracted to one type of person. They talk poorly about people over 25, about fat people, about hairy people, etc. But I think that only reflects the insecurities of the person saying that.

I have empathy for it, though I don’t fully get it. After all, people in my age group who were coming of age in the 90s and early 2000s were sold a certain extreme beauty ideal with media like America’s Next Top Model, Bridget Jones’ Diary, and other media that was harsh about bodies and looks.

My experience with sex work has shown me that there are people who find every kind of person attractive. I know sex workers in their 50s or 60s who are doing really well. I know fat sex workers who are killing it. I see sex workers of all genders finding success. I see all different kinds of people being adored, worshipped, and well-compensated by their clients.

That’s not to say that privilege doesn’t play a role in peoples’ success in this or any industry. But it’s just to say that I think the wide range of people succeeding in sex work shows that everyone has their own hotness and people are attracted to all different types!!

Having trained in kink services, you now work as an independent escort. How does your BDSM background inform your work now?

I’m glad I cut my teeth doing private sessions as a domme. I learned how to set and enforce my boundaries in a kind and sexy way. It also informed me on ways to check in about consent while keeping the ambiance of the session, and how to hold and create an amazing experience, even when it’s not a BDSM scene. And I still do kink in my work now.

You started online work during the pandemic restrictions. What was that like and how has it been like to transition back to in-person since?

Doing online work was interesting. When the pandemic started everyone said, “Just do Onlyfans,” etc. But, what they don’t realize is: it’s a totally different job. It’s like telling a psychologist to become a film director. Or telling a massage therapist to become a high-fashion photographer.

With in-person sex work, the focus is on connecting one-on-one with a person. With online sex work, it seemed the focus was reaching as many people as possible, in addition to making a high volume of content.

At the time, I had 10k followers on Twitter, so I naively thought, “Hey, this might be easy!” But I was wrong. Doing OF turned out to be very little about making content and mostly about marketing and sales. Some of the recommended sales tactics were really different from what I was used to doing with my escort business, and some felt uncomfortable for me. But it was a really good learning experience.

Doing hairy fetish content online also felt strange at times. It almost felt like I could post anyone’s hairy pussy and they wouldn’t even care if it was me or not. The majority of the fans were just like, “hairy pussy, hairy pussy”, and they weren’t as interested in things that were about my interests or personality. I felt many of my more creative ideas were underappreciated.

This was such a contrast to my escort business, where I am lucky enough to foster real, ongoing connections with people who are interested in me as a person, in addition to what I may offer physically! However, I was very grateful to have a few really sweet connections with people who did want to connect on a bit of a deeper level through my online offerings during that time.

If I do make content again I think I would do things quite differently. I would just make what I want to make and that would attract people to me in a different, slower, way. My pandemic foray into online content was born out of the scarcity of that uncertain time, and I think my experience reflects that. I already had an immense amount of respect for the amazing online sex workers who are doing that hustle, but now that I know more about it, my respect and awe of them has only grown!

I also started doing phone sex during that time. I still do that with some of my sweethearts and I really do enjoy that as well, because again, that is about the connection.

Luckily, I was able to do some in-person SW before the vaccines came out. I had a 4-hour minimum and would only see 1 client every two weeks, and would get tested in between. I had a few lovely regulars that would rotate, so I never fully transitioned out of in-person sessions.

Going back to full-time sex work after vaccines were out was such a relief. It reaffirmed that in-person sex work is what I want to be doing and what feels best for me. One silver lining of doing online content was that I improved my photography and videography skills. While I still love to hire photographers, I can now take decent photos myself. 

Another lovely silver lining is that I found a community of amazing hairy online sex workers in a group chat that I am still in touch with to this day. I don’t know why but the hairy online babes are just some of the nicest and most thoughtful people around!

You love cosplay! How do you incorporate your love for dressing up into your work?

I really just do cosplay for photos! I often say that I became an escort to have time, money, and reason to make all my creative ideas come to life. I feel my photos are such an outlet of creative expression for me. I am a creative person, but I am not a great artist in the traditional sense—I have really terrible handwriting, and I can’t draw or paint to save my life. So, my photos are my preferred form of visual expression.

I like to take a modern pop culture reference and turn it into something sexier or sluttier. Sometimes it’s just an idea or a vibe that I will bring to the table and work on with a photographer to translate into an image. I am grateful to have found some truly amazing, sex-work-friendly photographers who have helped me bring my ideas to fruition.

I also had a lot of fun doing cosplay when I was doing online content. That encouraged me to work on my technical video, lighting, and photo skills. I wanted to get certain looks for each cosplay to make the reference even more solid. So, I had to figure out how to get there. One of my favorites that I shot myself was a cosplay of Casey Beker (Drew Barrymore’s character) from the original Scream movie.

I don’t often do cosplay in sessions. But I have fun creating looks for photos and sharing them with others.

What are your favourite kinds of sessions?

What I like best is when the energy is flowing easefully and we are both having a great time. I’ve had amazing one-hour sessions and amazing three-day sessions. What is common between them is a feeling of mutual enjoyment, respect, and care.

I also enjoy longer sessions where we can get to know each other a bit more. Show me your favorite movie, your favorite restaurant, or your favorite museum exhibit!

In terms of whether I prefer kink or GFE sessions, I truly like both. It’s more about our mutual enjoyment and what flows best.

What are your hobbies outside of work? What do you do to pass the time?

I do a lot of yoga. I especially enjoy heated vinyasa/power yoga and yin yoga. I’m also a yoga teacher! I enjoy anything that has to do with soaking in hot water. I always seek out the best hot tubs, saunas, hot springs, and bath tubs wherever I go. 

I love to read dystopian science fiction. I also like reading about psychology and mindfulness.

I often take random classes just for fun or to learn about something that interests me. Some of my favorites from over the years include a stained glass class and a woodworking class. I’ve also been interested in studying languages since I was a teenager. I’m close to fluent in French, ok in Spanish, and so-so in several others. My streak on Duolingo is more than 950 days!!

I also love to write. I spend a decent amount of time writing for my newsletter and blog.

Volunteering is important to me. I’ve had various volunteer gigs over the last few years. I recently started volunteering for a local organization that supports local LGBTQ+ elders.

I love exploring the incredible SF Bay Area food scene. There are always amazing new restaurants and bars to try. The Bay Area also has some incredible museums. I need to go back to the SF MoMA and see The Visitors again before it leaves in September!

I love vintage and thrift shopping. I really enjoy the feeling of finding something really special and unique. I still think about this adorable vintage Burberry raincoat that I found at one of my favorite vintage shops a few days before the pandemic but didn’t buy. I thought “I’ll just come back next week and see if it’s still here.” Well, next week was when everything shut down!

I play the piano, but mainly for my own private enjoyment.

I have a very cute cat who demands some of my attention.

I love to travel. I tend to take a big international trip every couple of years, and do shorter domestic trips in between. Some favorite international destinations have been Peru, Japan, and Turkey. I’m so grateful to live in California where there are mountains, forests, beaches, cities, and deserts within a day’s drive. I do a lot of local travel for little weekends away.

Do you have a favourite piece of media that depicts sex work/is by a sex worker? 

I enjoyed the movie The Menu because I could relate to the questioning of Margot’s (the main character) class identity.

I like Poor Things because Bella was so unapologetic about why she did sex work! She was basically like, “duh, why wouldn’t I??” She liked to have sex and needed money, so it only made sense she would do what she liked to earn money.

There are also some great sex worker podcasts. I was on an episode of When We’re Not Hustling with Jessie Sage earlier this year, talking about sex work and polyamory. I have a long list of SW podcasts I need to listen to but haven’t yet!

Short-form answers

My favourite work shoes are: Chunky H&M boots I found at a second-hand shop and gold Manolo Blahnik heels (get you a girl that can do both!)

The most exciting thing I have ever done is: I spent 5 weeks traveling around Peru last year!

My biggest pet peeve is: Restaurants where the music is so loud you can’t hear the other person talking!

One sex tip I think everyone should know is: Communication is key. What works for one person may not work for everyone. Ask your partner what they like and be open about what you like. You can even make it a sexy part of the scene!

My dream vacation is: Several weeks at an understated but luxurious wellness spa resort in a tropical destination with someone sweet. Or an expedition to Patagonia. Or Antarctica!


Want to meet Oakland Escort Delphine in person?

Head over to her profile! 👇👇👇

Delphine • Tryst.link
Delphine is a female Escort from Oakland, California, United States. ❤ “Hairy, Nerdy, Kinky n Curvy – TL;DR: - 40 inches in the back - All natural 32Gs in the front - Body crafted by a healthy diet and plenty of yoga practice - 100% hairy - I have ...”

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