Welcome back to our sex worker interview series, 'A Tryst With'. We're joined today by Tucson Dominant Natasha Erotica to talk sex work in the pre-cellphone era, healing, and performance art!
What has your path looked like on your journey to where you are now as a tantra practitioner and professional dominant?
My path has been a long evolution. I started in the industry as a ProDomme at age 19 in Chicago. I had been drawn to the work for a few years before that. I didn’t know exactly what I wanted or how to find it, but I knew I had to find my way to it. My initial foray into the industry was working at a few different commercial dungeons. I found my first one by just calling an ad in the back of the paper that said “Worship Our Feet” in search of Goddesses or something like that. I came by for an interview and was immediately hired. Immediately by which I mean, after talking to me for about 15 minutes the owner sent me in with a submissive client. It was funny. I had not expected that and so was just wearing a nice vanilla outfit. I did the first two sessions of my life that day, in just my underwear. But also that day, I absolutely knew I had found my calling. Or, one of them. I have a lot of callings.
After that, I spent about a year and a half working in commercial dungeons, throwing kink parties, and teaching courses on erotic dominance. As I learned and explored, I identified my true passions and developed certain skills that require lots of practice – like impact play, rope bondage, piercing, and much more. I found myself particularly keen on creating moments of catharsis. I’m very interested in world religion, mediation, human sexuality, the body, the human brain, and nervous system regulation. How we heal and process trauma. I frequently marvel at the way our brains are able to process childhood trauma into kink. What an amazing and powerful skill, to be able to find a way to derive pleasure from past trauma. These interests naturally lead me toward tantra, and where it overlaps with BDSM.
I am also a certified yoga teacher and trained in several other modalities of bodywork and movement, and all of that also informs the way that I approach my work and relationships.
How has the industry changed since you started?
Oh so very much!! Like many things, the biggest shift has been technology. I was at the tail end of the pre-cellphone, pre-internet generation. I didn’t have a cellphone when I started out, just a pager, and while some places had begun advertising on the internet or having websites, that was BARELY beginning. We relied heavily on ads in the paper and the phone book. I had to come into my shifts at the dungeon for 8-12 hours and sit by the landline phone waiting for calls. We weren’t allowed to use the phone for personal calls, and there wasn’t a TV, so we spent a lot of time reading when we didn’t have clients. By the time I went independent a couple years later, the internet and cellphones were dominating and everything had changed. It definitely made it a lot easier to start a business as an independent provider. It also made the industry a lot less anonymous, on both the provider and client side. Now our photos were on the internet, we had access to client’s personal phones, real names, etc. It was a totally different world. I think it made the industry a lot safer. Everyone now has some recourse to measures to flag bad client behavior, to review providers, and to screen and check references. It’s better.
It’s also much bigger and more public than it was. I think that 25 years ago, very few people knew what you meant if you said “sex worker.” These days, I think it is much more in the public eye, and since virtual content creation blew up during the pandemic, I feel like there are just a lot more sex workers than ever before. I appreciate that this has softened some of the stigma, and that at least our existence as humans is being acknowledged, if not quite our rights and legitimacy as professionals.
We’re also much less isolated now. Before the easy connections of the internet, it was hard to find other sex workers, mostly due to the stigma. Now I can be connected to providers all over the world. It’s amazing.
What's one change you would like to see happen within the sex industry?
Well, obviously in the US decriminalization is what we’re working for. But until we get there, SESTA/FOSTA and subsequent forms of media repression have really made the industry difficult. I’d love to see that walked back and platforms like Backpage and Craigslist to return. I know there are various other versions, but none of them really hold a candle to how they used to be. I loved that they were accessible financially, and in every little corner of the world. Tryst does a great job, by the way. I’m consistently so impressed with y’all. But not all the clients have found Tryst, and there are lots of smaller markets that are harder to reach. It would really benefit all of us if we were able to just advertise very clearly exactly what we do, and our rates without having to speak in code. Although, as a big fan of language and neologisms, I find following the evolution of sex worker code to be delightful!
What’s an aspect of being a sex worker that you really love?
I have had many answers to this over the years. Meeting other sex workers is always thrilling. We’re just generally super interesting people. I feel a kinship with other sex workers and we have a way of understanding each other that is very special. But I think that now – and I really realized this during the pandemic – is that I thrive living a life where I get to connect with new people regularly, in a deep and intimate way. Unraveling the thread of someone’s kinky proclivities, having conversations about what makes someone tick, what their passions are, learning a bit of their life story… these things genuinely thrill me. I’ve done this for so long that I can’t really know if it’s something that I developed a love for over time, or if I was always like this (I suspect the latter), but I missed it so much during lockdown. After I started taking sessions again, my first dates were absolute medicine for my brain.
How does your healing work intersect with BDSM?
BDSM is healing work in a lot of ways. Of course it doesn’t have to be, but it often overlaps. In bodywork, I think the first healing moment is just the simple acknowledgment of pain.
“My back hurts here.”
“I see, that sounds painful, let me see what I can do to help you.”
Being believed, having pain acknowledged is healing in and of itself. Beyond that, as healers, yes, we hold the space and do the physical or emotional labor to help a person move through pain, process trauma, learn, and grow. In other modalities, we’re often trusting the body to heal itself, if we just open a path. The nervous system wants to regulate, and if we help to facilitate that, lots of other beautiful physical things happen. Muscles relax, digestion starts to flow, and the breath deepens so we take in more oxygen.
How do you bring your own style and personality to your kink work?
A big part of my evolution over the years has been to bring a lot of authenticity to kink and BDSM. When I started, I often felt like I was expected to play a character, which was a lot of fun for a while. But eventually, it wasn’t sustainable for me. I needed to bring more of myself – my life, my personality, and my feelings into the space. It has been so much better since I allowed myself to do that. I want to have very kinky scenes, where we can lose ourselves, and then also have a drink or lunch where we are catching up and checking in on each other and what’s going on in our lives. I think I bring a wholistic and joyful vibe to kink. “Here we are, let’s play, let’s go deep and dark, and let’s also be humans together.” That’s the tantric and embodied part of it. How do we play with our shadows and also hold space for each other as whole people?
What does your workspace look like? How is it set up? Do you have a favourite piece of furniture or equipment?
Oh my goodness. I’ve had so many spaces over the years, some of them super tricked out with all the toys and furniture, and some much simpler. I’ve defaulted to a simpler set up these days, since I tour a lot, and I have found that while I love some of the exciting options in well-appointed dungeons, I can do a lot with a simple set up. My current space is a simple bedroom set up, with a massage table, bed, spanking bench, lots of toys, and a nice vibe.
What has sex work taught about beauty standards?
Beauty is truly in the eye of the beholder. In this arena, there is something for everyone. I was speaking with a friend yesterday who is a provider in her sixties, and we were talking about the misconception that we would age out at some point. Sexuality is a spectrum, and the world of sex work shows you, in no uncertain terms, that society’s beauty standards do not correlate with measures of attraction. It’s been interesting in this more modern iteration of sex work to see folks on various platforms asserting gender expansive identities beyond the sort of boxes that were common in the past. There’s also something interesting in sex work related to the time capsule of beauty standards. Clients are often attracted to a specific aesthetic that they may have grown up around, but isn’t the current beauty trend. I think of things like spandex and suntan pantyhose from the 80s, a particular heel, or the question of highly polished vs all natural latex. Ultimately, beauty standards are so mutable. I really encourage new sex workers to embody how they feel best, and see where that takes them.
You’re involved in community organizing and run a non-profit. Would you like to share about this?
I’d love to! I’ve always been a community organizer and builder, and this led me to my current big project, Splinter Collective. It’s an art studio warehouse and event space in Tucson, AZ where I am based, that focuses on art programming amplifying marginalized voices and experiences as well as housing justice. As an artist, I have been a part of so many spaces that have folded because of rising rents or other issues. In purchasing this space, I’m excited to shepherd a place with more security for the community. It’s pretty new, we’re in our 3rd year, but we’ve been growing and streamlining our goals and mission.
I’ve worked on a lot of community initiatives over the years and also teach allyship and social justice courses online with my consulting company Justice Movement. I’m deeply passionate about creating opportunities for interactive and intimate learning.
What’s your favorite way to relax and recharge after a long week?
Arizona has the most beautiful sunsets and I have a few spots that I love to take a sunset hike. I also love live music, in particular jazz and blues, which we don’t have as much of in AZ as we do in my native Chicago. I love relaxing with a martini and taking in a show. When I’m near water, swimming, snorkeling, diving, kayaking, and sailing are big passions, and when I’m not, I love a good board game.
You mention being a performance artist. We’d love to know more about your art practice.
I’ve been a performance artist for my whole life, pretty much. My first loves were poetry and music. I’m a writer and a (lapsed) cello player and singer. However, my primary art practice blends a bunch of disciplines. I’m an actor, playwright, circus performer, public speaker, and experimental performance artist. Much of my work is informed by, or directly addresses sex work and fetish. I’ve worked with many ensembles and troupes over the years, including the Sex Worker Art Show Tour, La Pocha Nostra, and collaborated with many other brilliant minds.
I’m grateful for all the opportunities I’ve had and look forward to more. One piece of mine called “Bodies of Work, Criminal Acts” explores the reality of currency, value, and surveillance. In this piece, there are 40 identical photos of me with different price points. Each purchase of an art piece comes with a “private conceptual performance.” This piece is obviously related to the way sex work is selling something both concrete and intangible and that value is highly subjective. In this piece I also read from police reports from the 2 years that I was under surveillance, in which they describe my body in detail including tattoos and scars. I’ve also created a long form photo performance series with my daughter, called “Love letters leave no trace.” We have been doing this project for 13 years, and each chapter is a monochromatic ritual installation based on a particular theme of childhood development, and is inspired by the imagery of children’s birthday parties. We investigate the emotional, environmental and psychological impact of human celebration using primarily balloons as our medium.
My favorite scent is: Sandalwood, creosote when it rains in the desert, the ocean, and garlic frying in sesame oil.
My most irrational fear is: I’m actually struggling to come up with one… I have some things that concern me but I think they’re pretty rational!
I get a big thrill out of: Adrenaline sports, scintillating conversation, elevated performance, and animal sightings (both in water and out of it).
The last pic I took on my phone was: The Colorado River from an airplane.
If you want to win my heart you must: Be willing to give empathetic feedback and be open to receiving the same. And telling me all of your intimate fantasies and fetishes. Let me into your brain.
My social handles are: @natashaerotica on X.
If you want to find my other pursuits they are on insta: @splintercollective520 @justicemovement.org_ @flightschoolacro @nataliebrewsternguyen
Want to meet Tucson Dominant Natasha Erotica in person?
Head over to her profile! 👇👇👇
