My Loves! Hello hello hello, and welcome back to A Tryst With, our sex worker interview series! Today we've had a lovely chat with the handsome Toronto escort, Blake Moyre!
Tell us your story, how did you get into the industry and what has your journey looked like thus far?
For a while I’ve been fascinated with the sex industry, my curiosity manifesting in occasional, random bouts of research and daydreaming throughout my college career whenever something like stripping, camming or escorting tickled my mind. However, even when I wanted to dip my toe in, I always shied away, largely due to dysphoria and my anxiously self-conscious mind telling me I wasn’t desirable or ‘good enough’.
My story regarding transitioning and attempting to figure myself out is a long one, but essentially: once I got on testosterone, and had some extremely helpful, dysphoria alleviating surgeries, I felt much more relaxed and comfortable with my body. However, there was still the issue of the mental toll that living in this society has. I worked in a car parts manufacturing plant for over a year, and while I’ve worked other jobs before, this one instilled more depression and anxiety in me than the others, and impressed upon me how much I felt like my life was being wasted. Why was I spending 40 or more hours a week of my life here, just to be miserable?
At the time, since I knew how society and people viewed the sex industry – despite my interest – and I had been indoctrinated to believe in a ‘correct’ way to go about things, I felt that I should go back to the education system and pursue something I was passionate about – psychology. So, I went to university, enjoyed learning but hated all the stress and often agonized over the amount of debt I was accumulating due to student loans. Due to various life circumstances, I had to take some time off of my studies, and while I begrudgingly contemplated throwing my resume out there to get a job, the idea of sex work nudged itself in.
It seemed like the longer I procrastinated on getting a vanilla job the more the prospect of sex work became more appealing and viable. By this point I had recently gotten back into weightlifting, so I was feeling more confident. Though, I still had reservations, and my mind and nerves – due to how taboo sex work is in our society – tried to dissuade me. So, I tried to work on my resume again. Tried the supposed ‘proper’ way again, yet…That just made me feel worse. It instilled a deep sense of hopelessness, and I could tell that path wouldn’t be good for me. At that point all I could think was: well, what should I do now?
It was then that I finally decided to just go and try it, cause fuck it, why not? While it’s difficult getting started, I love meeting new people and being able to fulfill something that they need and desire, and it’s quite fun – and frankly an ego-boost – knowing that they desire me. 😉
While I still worry that I won’t be good enough – more specifically, that potential clients won’t be interested in me due to my trans status – it isn’t an overwhelmingly prevalent presence, and my experience has reassured me that, while it’s niche, there is a market for trans men.
What was something you didn't expect going into the industry?
I don’t have much in the way of business experience, so while I did know that this industry was a business, I didn’t anticipate how steep of a learning curve it would be. Writing copy, taking photos, determining rates, advertising…it all felt damn overwhelming at first, but luckily I have supportive, helpful, encouraging loved ones that helped bolster my determination to succeed. However, honestly, I still feel like I learn something new nearly every day.
I also didn’t anticipate how many potential clients seem to prefer incall. While I can understand that, it does make things more difficult for me (and other sex workers) who rely on hotels to host incalls, since setting up those incalls involves extra planning and expenses. It can create an incredibly stressful environment when a potential client seems to demand you set up an incall just for them, with short notice. While I have gotten respectful inquiries, it would be nice if that was the norm. Unfortunately, it seems most don’t afford sex work the same level of respect as other, traditional businesses.
However, out of everything else, the sheer number of inquiries I get that make it clear they haven’t read my ad was frankly the most shocking. If I sought out a sex worker, making sure to read their ad thoroughly just seems like the logical first step, so that I could be as informed as possible about the person. Perhaps they’re just too eager? They simply don’t want to bother? Or maybe they’re feigning ignorance? Regardless, things would be much simpler for both of us if they read the ad. So, please, for the sake of clarity and mutual understanding, read the ad.
What do you think the public should know about the sex industry?
That, beyond all the tragic, exploitative sides prominently featured in media, and beyond the ridiculously taboo corner it’s been shoved into, the sex industry is full of working people. Simply, at the end of the day it is a business, which requires a lot of work and dedication, and it’s unfortunate that simply because it occupies a very taboo space in society and most people’s minds that sex workers who willingly pursue this business are looked down on, and their business ridiculed. You can tell, from more disrespectful potential clients and from the general public to society at large, that most don’t view this business on par with other, ‘traditional’ and societally accepted businesses, and certainly look down on it.
If society didn’t have a stick up its ass over this industry, and the public had a better understanding and appreciation of it, sex workers could perhaps feel a bit safer within society.
Destigmatizing the sex industry and sex work would surely go a long way towards fostering a better relationship and understanding between the public, sex workers and clients, and would likely make the work and business itself feel safer and more comfortable. Perhaps more people would feel comfortable pursuing sex work, and more people would seek out the company of sex workers.
Are you out as a sex worker and if so what was that process like?
While I’m not exactly secretive about being a sex worker, I’m not explicitly out as a sex worker to most people either. The same narrative applies to my trans status. Since I’m far along in my medical transition, only people close to me – who I’ve wanted to share this information with – knows that I’m trans. Out and about I don’t get misgendered anymore. This kind of dynamic is basically how it is with me being partially out as a sex worker – only people close to me that I chose to tell know, and the public are none-the-wiser.
Regarding the process of coming out as a sex worker (to those specific people)…well, it was again pretty similar to coming out as trans. Some people kind of suspected something was going on, with some people I asked vague questions to gauge their potential receptiveness before telling them, and with others I just told them outright.
Since the people I told already knew I was trans, at that point the only new thing to tell them about was my sex work endeavours.
The only main difference was coming to the decision to pursue sex work vs. embracing my trans identity, since before I even decided to get into the business I talked with my someone very close to me. Their encouragement further empowered me to pursue sex work. While when it came to embracing my trans identity, I never consulted with anyone until much later on, after I had come out. Before coming out, I did lots of introspection and research to try to gain the confidence to come out.
Since being a trans man is imperatively relevant to myself as a sex worker, I never considered trying to separate myself from the trans label in my ads and marketing.
What is something clients can do to make you feel more comfortable as a trans worker?
I’m always happy to answer questions, as long as they’re respectful and in good faith, so I’d much prefer clients to ask clarifying questions instead of assuming. Please do not use any trans specific (or any) slurs, unless we establish it in the context of a fantasy/roleplay dynamic. I understand that sexuality is a personal thing, and can be kind of fragile and confusing for some (sexuality is complex and of course societal judgement doesn’t help), so while I do identify as a trans man, I can occupy a gender fluid space as well, so when a client justifies things and clarifies that they’re straight, I don’t take offence.
However, with that said, it is quite nice to hear gender affirming language, and of course I can only speak for myself; other trans workers may not feel comfortable having it insinuated – or outright said – that they are their AGAB (assigned gender at birth), not a real man/woman, or that being nonbinary isn’t a real thing. I’m more flexible in this regard due to my gender fluid leaning identity, and these days I don’t get upset about being misgendered by people outside of my personal life, since I am able to keep some emotional distance and I never get misgendered going about daily life anymore. I think if I did experience misgendering on a daily basis, I might be more sensitive to it.
What are your hobbies and interests outside of work?
Fitness is something that occupies a large chunk of my time, and I’ve been finding weightlifting and cardio to be more fun these days. Going for a run out in nature during a rainstorm is a beautifully electrifying experience.
I’ve been trying to set aside a bit more of my free time towards creative pursuits, such as writing and digital art – while I do enjoy traditional pencil-and-paper doodling, and painting, I rarely do that anymore. Photography is something that I love to do, and certainly comes in handy with work. Outside of work, I tend towards taking nature pictures.
I love reading, but haven’t been able to dedicate a consistent time to indulge in a book everyday.
Whenever I’ve been able to travel, it’s been a thrilling experience, but unfortunately I don’t get that opportunity often.
I don’t play as many video games as I used to, but I grew up playing video games on various Play Stations (1-4), PC, and a Super Nintendo, so whenever I do get to play something, it scratches that nostalgic, why-haven’t-I-played-in-so-long itch.
Also…I’m kind of a huge foodie, so when I get the opportunity to experiment in the kitchen I try to take advantage of it, and I admire the culinary creativity of others. I have to say that since going vegan, my appreciation of how innovative food can be has risen, and I love to visit the multitude of vegan restaurants and cafes in (and around) Toronto. There are some divine palate pleasures out there!
Is there a book, blog, tv show or movie that you’re into at the moment?
I’ve been watching Twin Peaks, and its curious dream-esque strangeness has kind of captured my attention in my free time. I often find myself drawn to strange things, and I’m looking forward to seeing where this show will go, as it’s certainly seeming to go beyond a simple murder mystery. I’ve also been trying to share my free time with the book The Will To Change by Bell Hooks. Unfortunately I’m not too far into the book, since the busy nature of my days tends to leave me drained of energy to the point where putting a show on is more accessible than reading. I do miss and enjoy reading, and while I’m only a few chapters into Bell Hooks’ book, it’s quite interesting and has spurred a lot of introspection regarding my own relationships with men and my own masculinity.
What’s one myth about sex work or sex workers you’d like to bust?
Unfortunately there are so many, but the first to come to mind is the assumption that sex workers are ‘dirty’ or tainted. This is such a demeaning frame of mind. Sex workers generally are very meticulous when it comes to cleanliness and protection, and habitually get tested for their own safety and their client’s safety. Making sweeping generalizations about any group, especially a marginalized one surrounded with undue stigma, is never a good idea, and doesn’t accurately reflect reality.
Under the same umbrella is the idea that people in this line of work are morally reprehensible and must be ‘damaged’ somehow, because ‘what normal person would even think to get into that kind of work’ - which is both ableist and furthers ridiculous stigmas.
But of course, this sort of discourse is rampant in society, and is quite oxymoronic considering the contradictory way our society seems to enjoy profiting off of sex and sex appeal whilst simultaneously fostering a culture of shame around sex and those – particularly women – who are perceived to have lots of it.
My favorite thing to be gifted is:I have a difficult time picking favourites, hah, but…I’d have to say the most useful and versatile gift is money. Barring that, either a gift card to one of my favourite restaurants (or vegan establishments) or some sort of photography equipment.
My ideal date would consist of: Meeting with a kind, respectful person at a lovely vegan restaurant. The instant chemistry is scintillating, and as the conversation flows along with the drinks and food, they effortlessly use my pronouns and are clearly having as much of a genuinely fun time as I am.
After the meal we go for a walk in nature, basking in the green space, or go to a beach before heading to our ultimate rendezvous. It's a beautiful, clean, comfy space to complement and enhance our desires. As we shower together, the tantalizingly warm water washes any lingering inhibitions away.
We spend the rest of the evening together, delighting and relishing in our mutually splendid intimacy. We understand each other’s needs, and once our heads hit the pillows one final time before we collapse into each other for a deep, uninterrupted sleep, we share a smile on our faces which radiates simple, pure fulfillment.
When we’re peacefully awoken by the soft rays of sunlight, we aren’t in a rush to get up or fold into each other in that oh-so-familiarly intimate way. We simply enjoy the silence, the warmth, and comfort of this still presence by cuddling. But cuddling…inevitably leads elsewhere.
After showering together for what feels like the last time – which will certainly unfold to be many times – we eat breakfast. As we part ways, they warm the rest of my being by leaving me with my favourite gift.
If you were to buy me a drink at a bar, you should order a: I don’t drink often, but when I do I gravitate towards a rum and coke, or basically anything fruity.
The dorkiest thing about me is: I’ve been told that my passion for animals can be rather dorky. I suppose it’s the way that I often stop everything I’m doing to watch and appreciate animals I come across.
A social cause I care about: There are so many causes to care about, because unfortunately this world and society is so twisted and only serves those in power. The top causes are: human and animal liberation and rights, environmental justice, and radical systemic overhaul.
Want to meet Toronto Escort Blake Moyre in the flesh? Head over to his Tryst profile! 👇👇👇
