Welcome back to our sex worker interview series, A Tryst With! Today we're chatting with New York escort, the wonderful, Ebonie Cabernet.
How did you get into the industry and what has your journey looked like so far?
Well, I started in the Craigslist/Backpage days around 2009-ish. I didn’t take escorting seriously until after the pandemic; That’s how I found tryst. Promoting online is still new to me and can be a pain at times; being a companion can be a journey itself. You’ll never know what you’ll get into when you meet different people in life.
What do you think the public should know about sex work?
That it’s a job just like anything else, the only difference is that we have to be discrete due to discrimination and state laws and all. We’re humans just like everyone else. Some of us have goals and most of us have degrees. Is it fair to play devil’s advocate and say that sex work to me is a necessary sin? I say yes! The escorts I’ve met have such uniqueness within and beauty and full of intelligence. If it’s not for you, just respect the hustle instead. Not all of us are lost in this game. I can also acknowledge this isn’t like Pretty Woman, there’s no Julia Robers, no Richard Gere. It’s just you and your instincts, and living life the best way you can.
What communities, people, places, and memories are important to you as a sex worker?
I’ve found my tribe in the twitter universe. I like twitter because there’s escorts, cam girls, garment sellers, OF girls, ect. We all have common interests outside of what we do. The SWers of social media has given me a realistic side of how SW can be and to become better with my brand. That’s the most important.
My second community is this small group on Reddit made for black women and autism. The new slogan now is called “autizy”. It’s a bit catchy I guess.
We spotted that beautiful photo of you cartwheeling on the beach, could you tell us a bit about your relationship with nudity, your body, and different environments? And if sex work affects any of those things?
Oh, sure! I’ve been a nudist since 2017. I knew a Brooklyn friend of mine invited me to Gunnison Beach in New Jersey. I’ll admit that I was a bit of a prude and was self conscious. I saw the light, had a good time, and left there as a devoted nudist. *laughing*. Nudism has taught me to be more comfortable with myself, body and sexuality all in one crash course. I also found my tribe through this nudist festival last year and loved every minute of it. I’ll be going again this year! I took that photo shoot in Fort Tilden Queens.
You mentioned being a Black, autistic woman in sex work. Can you tell us about some of your experiences at these intersections?
I’ll admit being a black autistic woman isn’t always easy. I got bullied a lot for being autistic. I had huge speech impediments and didn’t talk until I was age six. I usually have to mask myself everyday because I usually get misunderstood. I have a deep voice so when I’m blunt, it sounds like I’m angry and I’m actually nice. I have to practice my speech everyday because sometimes I can get tongue tied. (not to get off topic) I had a tough, but loving family that made me the person I am today. My father was a disciplinarian strict father who taught me how to handle pressure and self control at a young age. At times it’s hard because the impulsiveness sets in. For years, I always thought that I was an alien of my own human species if you catch my drift. There are more black autistic sex workers in this engagement group on Reddit. It’s pretty cool. Autistic people just think and do things differently and somewhat odd; yet effective. It all depends on the individual.
Are there any changes you'd like to see in the industry?
I wish that I can see more black and brown women in SW in a positive light in movies/tv shows. Just look at the media itself you can tell they haven’t done enough research. I usually see only two scenarios on TV. They usually either vilify her as the conniving gold digging vigilante to the elite scratching her way up to the top; if not that, she’s abused in the street that’s possibly on drugs to cope. I wish they can just pull a black female version of Leo Grande… A sex worker then we’ll be in business. I think that’s why I’ll be changing my major from communications to films and screenwriting.
You’re a writer - is there a book or writer that has been particularly inspirational for you? What influence has it had on your own writing work?
My influence: I’ve always been a huge fan of the Anne Rice vampire chronicles. The darkness and eroticism, with some humanity. I’ve always been a writer and have done this for a hobby, now I want to bring it to life.
My new series is called “midtown by midnight” it’s just a short vampire erotica, somewhat of a “passionate fuck story”. It’s going to be published on literotica.com; I will disclaim this part though. I’m not the best writer, but I will write some sex stories based on some of my dates. Call me the Taylor Swift of whores if you will. The only difference between Taylor and I is that nobody knows who I’m talking about and it’s confidential. lol
What are some of the things you enjoy or get up to, outside of work?
I love to write, smoking weed, music/rave festivals, nudist beaches and resorts, shopping, yoga, UFC fights, fencing (I’m still looking for a client who’s into these activities), rave parties I’m a HUGE cinephile and I love movies from everywhere, tattoos, burning man, dinner dates, and of course traveling. I’m a gamer too! It's when I have plans of doing nothing. All I play is either tekken 7 or the Batman Arkham series. I’m excited for the new Street Fighter coming out in June waiting for a new play date.
As sex workers, we’re often hyper-critical of our bodies, is there a part of your body that you just love and delight in?
I really love my hair more and more. Despite me wearing wigs in photo shoots. Nothing like rocking my mini afro. My eyes and lips too!
Do you have a dream travel destination, and what would you do/see/visit there?
My first dream destination is Los Angeles; I want to walk on Rodeo Drive and Bel Air for the Hollywood nostalgia and want to try the Cali 420. Las Vegas, because I went last year and it was fun and I love to party in their clubs (but I make sure I take care of myself with a hangover). Lol. Paris & Italy because of their rich culture, statues, and food. England because of the soccer games and the hooliganism experience (just not wanting to go back there sometime this year). Bali for some spiritual healing and beauty, and Maine for the seafood and lighthouses.
My favorite lingerie brand is: Playful Promises, Love Vera, Parade
In the future, I plan to: Finish grad school, finish my erotic vampire trilogy before school starts, travel more, and want to get my own first apartment; living with roommates and hate it. I want to get toned for this summer body! I also want to get signed to thebtwn, state, and jag modeling agency. I see myself in a Fenty makeup commercial and I don’t know why.
The way for a client to win me over: A gentleman, asking questions when needed, can carry a conversation. Who can actually show me a good time with other MMA events and restaurants?
If you want to buy me a drink, you could order a: A glass of red wine; Francis Ford Coppola’s Cabernet preferred. I’m a fan of his brand as much as his movies. Coors Banquet & Modelo for beer.
A social cause I care about is: Not to go Christian on you guys; If Jesus can accept Mary Magdalene as a SW to one of his trusted disciples. It’s the oldest profession and it’s fair to say that no one should be judged or to judge anyone you know? Let one without sin cast the first stone!!
Want to meet New York escort Ebonie Cabernet in person?
Head over to her profile! 👇👇👇
