Welcome back to our sex worker interview series, 'A Tryst With...' Today we talk rope, resilience, and resting bitch face with New York BDSM Provider Salem X.
How did you get into the industry and what does your journey look like so far?
I started doing FSSW and creating online content during college for survival. FSSW was not great for my mental health, and once I was out of college and more stably employed, I stepped away from in-person work to focus on making content. Neither of these were particularly fulfilling for me, and they were very complex and emotionally taxing to navigate once I started to understand myself as asexual. But as I began to find community in the NYC kink/SW scene, and started to develop an interest in rope specifically, I realized that the possibilities for me within SW were more expansive than I had previously thought. I’m currently working as an in-person BDSM provider who specializes in rope, and I have found this work to be super gratifying. In the past year, I’ve worked on building community, building and exploring my “brand” as a provider, and improving my skills.
What has sex work taught you about yourself?
Sex work has taught me that I am resilient, talented, and that I make great company (something I was deeply insecure about as a teen/in my early 20’s).
What is something clients can do to make you feel more comfortable as a trans worker?
Clients can ask me what I like to be called and how I like to be complimented. I receive a lot of inquiry messages that call me “Mistress” even though that word doesn’t appear anywhere on my page, or that use super feminine language, which I don’t love. Asking what terms feel good to me goes a long way in showing that you are interested specifically in me, and not just in an experience. It shows that you see and value me as a whole person, which allows me to show up fully to our session, and in turn provide you with an amazing and connective experience.
Are there any trans people who's online presence has been influential for you and you want to give a shoutout to?
Some trans folks whose online presence has been influential for me include Sir Anansi (@sir.anansi), GroundedRopez (@grounded__ropez), and Dee Darkholme (@d_darkholme).
How does your trans identity intersect with your work as a pro Dom?
As a trans provider, I often receive bookings from clients who, in their day-to-day lives, don’t feel comfortable or safe exploring their gender or sexuality. I create a safe(r) space for folks to honor their truest selves, because I know what it’s like to live without a space like that.
How do you bring your own personality and personal style to your kink work?
People often tell me they found me intimidating the first time we met. I have RBF (resting bitch face), and I am a pretty clear communicator with strong boundaries, which a lot of people are not used to. It can be fun to play on that intimidation in-scene, but otherwise I don’t take myself too seriously. I want people to feel comfortable. I don’t want people to perform a dynamic 100% of the time we are together. I think being able to be playful and down-to-earth shows vulnerability on my part. That in turn gives clients permission to be vulnerable and show up as their authentic selves, which allows us both to access our deepest desires and create a container in which to play with them. My ideal kind of scene is one where we both laugh a lot, even if we’re getting into some heavy stuff.
What’s a fetish you love to explore with clients? Do you have any fetishes yourself?
I am huge on objectification and vulnerability. I like to turn a client into a “thing” to look at, most often with rope. I love to undress people in rope like they’re a present wrapped up for me. I find that the exposure can take someone who’s generally emotionally reserved or guarded and melt them into a vulnerable little puddle real quick, and it’s always really satisfying. Beyond that, I fetishize devotion, so I love to explore the limits of someone’s devotion to me, in particular the extent to which they’re willing to suffer for me.
Do you have a pre or post session routine?
Pre-session: I listen to my playlist called “bad bitch vibes”, do my makeup, choose an outfit that I feel really good in. If it’s a rope session, I make sure to stretch and inspect my rope.
Post-session: Aftercare with my client. When I get home, I treat myself to a j and a really yummy meal or snack.
What’s the proudest moment of your career?
It’s hard to pick one specific moment – I feel like the past year has brought me a ton of growth and opportunity in my career. I started a trans rope jam, and doing rope performances. I’ve learned a ton, and have had the opportunity to travel for rope.
What do you get up to when you’re not working? Do you have hobbies or special interests?
I’m a musician! I have my own band and I play in some friends’ music projects. I love crafting, in particular needle felting, embroidery, and jewelry making. I’m also a big coffee nerd.
Is there a book that has had a major impact on your life?
Braiding Sweetgrass by Robin Wall Kimmerer. I can’t emphasize how much of my life philosophy has been impacted by this book. It explores indigenous wisdom as it relates to western scientific methodologies, and offers it as an alternative or complementary approach. It talks a lot about reciprocity, how we relate to each other, and how we relate to nature, seeing ourselves as part of nature/nature as part of our community. I am from the global south but I grew up in the US, and this book has been part of my process of unlearning the individualistic values prescribed by American society in favor of a more collectivist way of living.
My favorite everyday pleasure is: Coffee.
If you want to buy me a drink, you could order a: Strawberry margarita :)
I get a big thrill out of: Watching someone suffer for me.
A social cause I care about is: An end to genocide and occupation everywhere, including Palestine, Sudan, Congo.
My social handles are: @local.virgin420 on IG and @local.virgin666 on X.
Want to meet New York BDSM Provider Salem X in person?
Head over to their profile! 👇👇👇
