Welcome back to our sex worker interview series 'A Tryst With...' We're joined by Melbourne Escort Vivienne Fae, to chat about work mothers, beauty, and the fetishisation of sex work in the queer community!
So you’re an escort, how did you find your way here, and what has that been like for you?
I was really lucky to have a work mother to help me get into working independently. I never would have been able to get into escorting without their help; they completely took me under their wing and answered a lot of dumb questions.
It’s been really good, once I got past the learning curve, I really grew to love escorting. It’s been liberating not having to stress about whether a boss is happy with me or not. I get to actually work with my strengths. I’m very self-motivated and good at picking up new skills, which is a massive asset in this industry. And I love getting to think creatively when planning photoshoots and writing ads.
But it’s also a lot of work and knowing that I’m responsible for every business decision and everything that needs to be done can be stressful. Only having yourself to rely on when the economy is tanking is hard.
Is there something you didn't expect going into the industry?
I had no idea how much I would like so many of my clients. It might just be down to the way I advertise, but I see so many sweeties whose company I really enjoy. The amount of clients who would go out of their way to bring me a treat just to make me happy really surprised me. I thought not having to be romantic was part of the appeal of seeing an escort but I guess for some being romantic is a pleasure itself.
Sex workers have been known to end up in interesting work situations, do you have any funny stories that make you belly laugh?
This one comes to mind because I told some friends about it recently. Years ago a client came to see me at my incall. He asked me over text if I was ok with him smoking some weed and I said sure, expecting him to show up with a joint to spend some of our booking smoking. I don’t advertise as a party-girl or 420 friendly, there is literally nothing about weed on my profile, but I don’t mind if clients want to get high when they see me.
When he arrives we chat for a while and he asks if he can smoke some weed now and I say go for it. Then he asks where my bong is! And I say I don’t have one, obviously. So he says I guess I can just smoke a joint, can you roll one for me? And I’m like ok if you want to pay me this hourly rate to roll a joint for you I totally will. After a few moments of awkward silence as I wait for him to get his weed he asks, so where’s your weed?
Apparently this whole time he has been thinking, although I don’t choose to advertise it, I provide complimentary weed to clients as well as a bong that they can smoke it with in my incall. I had to break it to him that I only offer sex.
What’s something people should probably consider before they take the leap into becoming a sex worker?
I think people underestimate the emotional and interpersonal skills you need to be a sex worker. Being good at reading people and having good instincts is so important if you’re meeting clients in person. Conflict resolution skills and being able to assert yourself and your boundaries are essential to this job. Unfortunately a lot of young women especially have a really hard time being assertive.
What has sex work taught about beauty standards?
It’s such a cliche, but basically that everybody is beautiful. I think it’s really important in this work to find something attractive in every client and so it’s fortunate I already tend to see the best in people without trying. There is almost always something I’m drawn to, even if it’s just someone’s strong hands or how kind they are.
I’ve also learnt a lot of what I’ve assumed were men’s tastes were totally wrong. I never would have guessed when I was younger that men would beg me not to get plastic surgery because they love my breasts so much.
What’s the proudest moment of your career?
I’m really proud of the skills I’ve acquired doing sex work. I’m pretty technologically illiterate but I’ve learnt how to do a lot of things I never would have thought I’d be able to. I’ve taught myself how to use photoshop, file taxes, and recently even made a website! It probably doesn’t sound that exciting but it took a lot of work and time to figure out so I’m really proud of how much I’ve persevered and pushed myself outside of my comfort zone.
You’ve completed Touching Base's SPAT training to work with clients with disabilities. What does this bring to your work?
I hadn’t seen any clients with visible disabilities before I did the training, and although I wanted to, I was nervous about the logistics and wasn’t confident I’d be able to do my job well. It was really useful and enlightening to learn about simple, practical ways to meet the needs of clients with disabilities. It made me change how I thought about disability. In reality, disability just brings a set of practical problems with practical solutions if you put the time and effort in. Since then I’ve really enjoyed my time with clients with disabilities and have always been received with such kindness.
You’re a queer sex worker. What do you think about how sex workers are represented in queer spaces?
I have complicated feelings about how the broader queer community views sex workers. I am really glad there’s generally a lot of acceptance in all the queer spaces I’ve been in. To know that I could go to a queer event and tell everyone there what I do for work without any backlash is pretty cool. The worst comments I’ve received are misguided concerns about my safety and considering the way a lot of mainstream society thinks about sex work, I’m happy to only have that to deal with.
But there is definitely a fetishisation of sex work in the queer community that makes me really uncomfortable. It feels like people who aren’t sex workers want as much proximity to sex work as they can get, without actually having to do it themselves. I’ve dated queer people who’ve boasted about dating a sex worker. Knowing there’s clout in being close to me because of my job isn’t a nice feeling.
Your profile says you’re an artist. We’d love to hear about your art practice!
I love to work with oil paint and watercolour because colour and form are the most important aspects of visual art for me. I also do tattoos, collage, and woodcut prints. It’s hard for me to stick with one thing and I love learning to work with different mediums.
My favourite movement is Impressionism; Bonnard and Degas’ work are big inspirations, so I try to draw from real life subjects rather than photographs to achieve a similar quality. I like to paint the natural world, flowers, creeks, plants, and nudes. Lately I’ve just been focusing on drawing and painting small things regularly. I mostly try not to be critical of what I make and just enjoy the process.
What are some of your everyday pleasures? How do you spend your time outside of work?
My weekends usually orbit around seeing bands with friends and dancing as much as possible. Day-to-day, my garden and my houseplants bring me a lot of pleasure and calmness; I really relish watering the garden at dusk in summer. I love food so when I have the time, cooking and eating become a big part of my day. And anything that involves being outside but especially if it involves swimming and lying in the sun.
My favorite lingerie brand/designer is: JBC
In the future, I plan to: Better understand how to live to the fullest
My favourite album is: Joanna Newsom’s Ys
For me, the best part of sex is: Every single part
Want to meet Melbourne Escort Vivienne Fae in person?
Head over to her profile! 👇👇👇
