Welcome back to our sex worker interview series, 'A Tryst With...' We're joined by Los Angeles Escort Dagger to talk freak-presenting, niches, and performance art!
What has sex work taught you about yourself?
Sex work has taught me how to be more in my own bodily autonomy and to use my body as a weapon for my survival as something that I am fully in control of. I feel that it has allowed me to develop a different relationship to sex and has forced me to be more reflective on how I have a history of disassociation, as in the past I have had a very complicated relationship to sex. It has also taught me to be more vigilant and aware and make sure that I got myself and that I can rely on my loved ones to check up on my safety. I also feel like it has taught me to not be careless with my body and to be more selective about who I have sex with outside of work, to create a separation between personal sex and work sex. It has taught me that I can use my body in ways that can literally help me survive and that there’s power in being able to do that.
What are three things you would have loved to have known going into the industry?
1 - I am allowed to have boundaries and I can say no.
2 - I would like to have a bigger community that I am a part of to ask for help and advice from.
3 - I should always raise my rate and not undersell myself.
Do you find that there is a type of client who seeks you out, who you really enjoy seeing?
I think that for the most part older men seek me out because they are looking for an experience out of their comfort zone. I enjoy seeing clients that are down to pay well and do not expect me to do the most. I like seeing clients that want to see me as a person and are interested by who I am vs just seeing me as an object.
You’re a BDSM practitioner - can you tell us a little about your kink work?
I identify as a dom switch and I am interested in activities like impact play, feral and primal play, bondage, spitting, biting, and being dommed.
I feel like I like to test my own pain tolerance and also enjoy playing with people who are into freakier things and are down to explore new territory with me. I feel that playing with people who I am deeply in love with and trying out BDSM have been some of the most intensely beautiful experiences that I feel lucky to have had in my lifetime. I practice some domming and also am able to provide different services depending on what the person is into. I also enjoy submitting sometimes.
What are some of your favourite kinds of sessions?
I like sessions where the person knows what they want and what they are into and where I am able to provide a pleasurable experience that taps into fantasies and types of play that don't always get explored. I like sessions where we are able to go places that we haven’t been before sexually, to learn from each other in the process, and have solid aftercare afterward.
Can you share a little about your experience of being both a POC and transmasc? What's it like for you at those intersections?
I think that being Poc and a transmasc person who is freak presenting has made it difficult for me to find work and stability. I have experienced different forms of homelessness and income insecurity as well as being on tour for years as a traveling artist. I think that my intersections make it more difficult to find stability and I think that making the choice to express myself in ways that normative culture does not accept has made it hard for me to find sustainable means of income and meeting my basic needs. At the same time though, I am really grateful for my lineage because I find a lot of South Asian culture really beautiful and moving, so I carry a lot of the practices from growing up in an Islamic household. I feel lucky to come from a place with such a rich history and to know how my family is a generation that has survived war. I chose to break a lot of patterns and cultural expectations by living my life the way that I do. I also think that people are sometimes confused as to what gender I was assigned at birth and I find that to be a personal accomplishment because I want to be so gender fucked that people cannot guess what gender I am or was. I have had multiple times where people have asked about my genitals on Tryst, and in a way I think that is also powerful – to be unable to be understood within cis binary ways of thinking.
Sex work often demands rigid adherence to western beauty standards, what’s that like as a POC and a non binary provider?
I think it is harder to get consistent work and I feel like I am more of a niche category, which means that only certain people seem to be interested. Because I don’t have any Eurocentric features and also am freak presenting and transitioning, it is hard to be able to feel like I can have a stable clientele. I think that a lot of providers on the site are more conventional and cisgender, but I try to not think of things as a competition and just be as transparent about myself as possible and hope that I will continue to attract the right people. So far all of my clients have been experiences that I have felt solid about, so I am hoping that will continue and I will build a consistent base over time. I think that there's a lot I had to do to be strong in myself and let go of my insecurities due to not being conventional or eurocentric, but I feel that I am at a much better point with my self esteem and worth and have worked really hard on myself to get here.
You’ve got some great body mods! What are your favourites and what do they mean to you?
My favorites are definitely some of my tattoos. I think that tattoos and piercings are a way for me to externalize a version of myself that makes me feel the most armored and in my power. I consider my tattoos and piercings and style as my cyberware and also as a way for me to protect myself and feel most embodied. Many of my tattoos are from ex lovers, friends, artists, or have specific stories. I got one in a squat in Leipzig, Germany 30 minutes before going on stage to perform. Another is from a friend in New Orleans that passed away, but I now have their tattoo next to my heart always. I am always trying to get more body mods and am interested in doing tattoo trades for other forms of modification, such as piercing, tattoo, or scarification. I just started tattooing and I am really wanting to get better and continue to do creative trades.
Can you tell us about your performance art practice?
I have been a multimedia performance artist and musician for 5 years and have toured nationally and internationally. My performance art practice is rooted in world building, testing extremities, and creating environments that explode peoples brains, as well as staying rooted in my political goals and building deep connections. My practice changes over time to have different elements. Right now I am exploring more forms of body modification and horror within my performance, where in the past it has been more erotic and theatrical. I am always interested in being brave and taking things as far as they can go with safety and consent in place. I never want to feel stagnant and I always want to feel challenged to grow and do more.
Do performance art and sex work intersect?
I think that sex work is performance art in many ways and while doing it I feel similarly to when I am acting a role out in a performance or having to be in character. The performance art I do is already very erotic and plays with the imagination of the audience, and I believe that sex work is also about creating a persona tailored to whoever the client is, and acting things out in a way to give off an experience that the person is hoping to receive. I consider sex work to be a form of acting out the fantasies, desires, and ideas that a person may have of me, and leaning into a character that is separate from myself. I do feel with sex work there is an element of my personhood that is more present than in performance art. Before a client and I get involved, there is usually a level of conversation, asking about each other’s lives, and that feels rooted in reality, vs in performance art, where I am fully immersed in a character or world from start to finish.
What do you do in your downtime? What are your hobbies and passions?
I am an experimental performance artist, farmer, community organizer, musician, artist, and punk. I love freaks, working on music, collaborative art pieces, scenes, and performances, falling in love, masochism, hanging out with friends, finding the places and people that remind me why I am alive, finding god in someone’s eyes, being the sword and the wound, and blood.
I get a big thrill out of: exhibitionism.
My ultimate weakness is: emo faggots, tortured artists, and noise.
My favorite everyday pleasure is: listening to music.
We'll get along if: you like strange adventures and staying out until sunrise.
My weirdest obsession is: scabs.
Want to meet Los Angeles Escort Dagger in person?
Head over to their profile! 👇👇👇
