Welcome back to our interview series 'A Tryst With...' Today we're chatting with Lexington escort Dylan!
We’d love to know a little of your backstory - how did you get here and what do you do?
I had always been curious about this world – I was lucky to, for whatever reason, keep out a lot of the negative messaging people around me growing up received about their sexuality. I’ve never really felt limited by societal constraints and enjoy pushing boundaries. Being a transmasculine person, I knew there was a place for me, I just wasn’t quite sure where. I am starting to get more comfortable taking up space in a traditionally “male” section of the industry, as I really only work with men.
As to what I do – the majority of my working time is spent one-on-one with clients. I love to talk and get to know people. I am especially curious about what motivates people, what makes them happy, and what helps them get up in the morning.
Can you tell us some benefits and drawbacks of working in the sex industry?
The most obvious benefit is financial – I enjoy having the additional income to take care of myself in a way I never had been able to before. I also get a nice self esteem boost any time a client reaches out. Additionally, I find this work to be A LOT of fun and never boring.
The biggest drawback is how many restrictions we have in the US. I believe I only see an extremely tiny portion of the people who would like to book time with me because of how convoluted the process has to be. In that same vein, I sometimes have to deal with potential clients who have no experience with professionals and waste my time. This is mega frustrating.
Has your work influenced your sexuality or the way you view sexuality?
Yes – as I mentioned above, I think this work is really helping me feel more comfortable and confident moving through the subset of the industry largely occupied by gay men. I am also meeting a lot of older gay men who I would have previously not spent time with. My attraction to that end has shifted for sure.
Are you out as a sex worker? What was that process like for you?
Yes and no. I am out with friends but not with family or vanilla co-workers. I am incredibly open, so my friends were not at all surprised. I even have some friends that follow me on my work socials. I would love to be open with everyone, but I don’t see that as an option for me right now, unfortunately, due to stigma.
Do you find that there is a type of client who seeks you out, who you really enjoy seeing?
I honestly LOVE seeing inexperienced clients as I am an educator in so many parts of my life. I also love to work with clients who have never spent time with any transgender men. I think there are so many people out there who haven’t had the opportunity to spend time in genuine conversation with transgender people. If they had that opportunity, I think their opinions might change. People’s hearts and minds change with this kind of exposure.
Also, just anyone with a positive attitude or fun outlook on life.
Why do you think it is important for sex work to be decriminalized, not just legalized? How would it change the way you are able to work?
Ugh – it would change so much. I am so tired of having to have conversations that make me feel like I’m back in the closet or using specific phrases, talking around the point, etc. I am also tired of clients freaking out and ghosting because they are worried about getting in trouble. I think the whole conversation around sex work is SO COMPLICATED and has so much nuance to it. However, at the end of the day, I think consenting adults should be trusted to make decisions with their bodies that feel good to them without hand holding from the government.
What’s one myth about sex work or sex workers that you’d like to bust?
That sex workers are more likely to have STIs. I am regularly tested and this is a common practice in the circles I run in. I think sex workers are some of the most educated people when it comes to STIs and sex in general, since it's a potential occupational hazard. An STI can cause significant financial impact – so we generally want to know ASAP.
What's it like for you as a trans worker navigating sex work spaces? We know that the industry isn’t always inclusive. Can you share your experience?
Honestly, it’s less for me about being trans in general, and more about being transmasculine. I think there are some really complicated things that the sex world needs to address regarding the fetishization of transgender women, but, they at least have had representation. On the other hand, people like me are an incredibly small portion of the population. This has made it hard to navigate which websites I can use, how to get my ads to the clients who want to see me, etc. For example, a website I use requires me to put in a dick size, and the smallest possible size in their drop down menu is 4-inches. This is fine for a cisgender man, but doesn’t work for me.
I think the inherent assumption that everyone is cisgender until proven otherwise is a problem and hopefully shifts over time.
What is something clients can do to make you feel more comfortable as a trans worker?
Honestly, just acknowledging whatever level of comfort and experience they have is the best. I don’t need someone to pretend like they know what they are doing or not acknowledge that I am trans. I am trans and it’s a huge part of me. Being honest about what aspect of my transness is most relevant to the client and appointment is huge.
Has your gender expression changed since you started sex work?
A little bit – I’m finding myself carving out a space in the gay fetish categories. I am most comfortable as a jock/athlete/bro sort of archetype. This is new – previously I’ve always had sort of an outdoorsy/punk aesthetic.
You’re a content creator as well as an escort. Has your content career contributed to your escorting career, and how?
Honestly, I don’t think much – but this is mostly because I am so busy and haven’t tried as hard as I could. Since I have a whole other life outside of sex work, I don’t think this is a huge factor. If I had time to put more effort into it – I think it might 🙂
Your profile says that you love to read and listen to podcasts. What are you into at the moment? Why?
I’m in graduate school and on a spiritual journey, so I read and listen to A LOT of books and podcasts in my field and religious tradition. My favorite book I’ve read recently is This is Real and You Are Wildly Unprepared by Alan Lew. I listen to a ton of podcasts, but some of my favorites are “Podcast: The Ride” (theme parks), “Blank Check” (movies), “The Evolution of Horror” (horror movies), and “The Adventure Zone” (dungeons and dragons).
I feel most sexy: in a dark room, cruising gay men.
For me, the best part of sex is: a good vibe/connection.
Together we could: go on a wild adventure.
Something that really annoys me is: ignorance.
My favorite food is: hashbrown casserole.
In the future, I plan: to keep doing what I’m doing.
Twitter: @w3rkinprogess
Want to meet Lexington escort Dylan in person?
Head over to his profile! 👇👇👇
