Thanks for joining us for our sex worker interview series 'A Tryst With'. We're chatting with Amsterdam's Mistress Koshka about the dearth of dungeons in Amsterdam, birds, and pink fluffy Pleasers!
How did you get into the industry and what does your journey look like so far?
My interest in kink and sexuality started in my personal life, and this put me in contact with some wonderful, inspirational workers who I became very close to. I loved their politics and ethics and had always felt my sexuality was something I could enrich people's lives with. In 2023 my job in the UK film industry disappeared overnight due to a total industry collapse and that was the push I needed to pursue sex work full time.
What looks different now than it did at the beginning of your journey?
My confidence in my skills and my ability to read people, which are two things I think you can only learn by doing. With every session I get better at reading my subs and intuitively understanding what they need from the session, I'm not ashamed to say I was a lot clunkier with this when I first started!
Your aesthetic is colourful and bright, bucking the usual trend for Doms to dress in black and other dark colours. Can you tell us about your personal style, and what it brings to your sessions?
I'm so glad you noticed! There are multiple reasons for this, the first being before entering the industry my friends lovingly referred to me as a human Barbie (I'm blonde and curvaceous). I have a personal kink for the idea of being a ‘living doll’, and I wanted to blend this into Koshka’s persona. In my sessions I flip the idea of being an intimate doll only for other’s pleasure on its head by being the one in control and I've found this dichotomy is something my clients really love.
Tell us about your workspace. Does it reflect your aesthetic? How do you set up your playspace for maximum fun and enjoyment?
This is somewhat of a sore spot for me right now. I relocated from London which has WONDERFUL fully equipped dungeons that include things like mood lighting and sound systems, to Amsterdam where the law prohibits renting of spaces for sexual services. I currently work from hotels and it is MUCH harder to set the mood in these places. I am a fan of draping silk scarves over the uplights to soften the lighting and am never without my Bluetooth speaker – depending on the types of session I have a playlist for each kind. The dungeons of London are sorely missed and I'm looking into going into politics here in Amsterdam to improve the working conditions for sex workers.
What’s one myth about professional BDSM that you’d like to bust?
That it's easy! There is a pervasive misconception that if you're beautiful, that alone will make you lots of money. It could not be further from the truth. It is a highly cerebral and psychological job and if you don't hone your skills your subs will know and not get the satisfaction you both want from sessions. It is not easy work nor easy money and I would tell anyone entering the industry to think carefully about what their skills are beyond looks and expensive latex.
How has your work changed your relationship and approach to consent?
It's made me an even more efficient and effective communicator. I cannot scream this enough but communication is how everyone will find sexual satisfaction AND be protected from experiences they may not enjoy or be ready for. This job necessitates that we discuss our sessions at length beforehand to make sure our subs limits are always respected and protected as they are in a very vulnerable position when we are together.
What would you like to say to anyone starting out on their BDSM journey, be they professionals or other kinksters?
Do your research! Kink is a veritable cornucopia of experiences, more than can be summed up into just Domme or sub. There are so many wonderful niches that you may not know you're into until you read about or see it. Being informed is also very helpful for your play partners, to know if you sync with kinks you enjoy and so they know your limits thoroughly.
Do you have a favourite corset? What do you look for in a good corset/lingerie? Do you have a favourite designer?
I love a corset. I'm very lucky I inherited my German family's ‘milk maid’ genes (an hourglass figure) so I love to play on that with tight lacing and push up bras. I adore Honey Birdette for lingerie because they actually stock my bra size. It's a lesser known fact of lingerie that people with a small back and big bust really are not catered for by lingerie brands. My dream corsetry and lingerie would be Atelier Bordelle but they are one of the brands who don't cater to larger bust sizes, much to my sadness. A little titbit for fans of corsetry, I've found some of my best corsets on eBay!
What is your favourite kink/bdsm hack?
It's not very glamorous, but wet wipes. Kink play can get a little messy and there's nothing quite like being able to whip away the mess quickly so that scenes (and some people's egos) aren't ruined.
What do you do to disconnect? How do you separate yourself from your work life when you’re not at work?
I am the biggest animal lover, particularly birds. A lot of my life outside of work revolves around birds, caring for and training my pet birds and going bird watching with my Queer Bird group in Amsterdam. Funny fact, my biggest parrot is obsessed with Koshka’s outfits and blows me kisses whenever I'm in work wear.
Is there a book, blog, tv show, or movie that you’re into at the moment? Why?
Yes, Revolting Prostitutes! This book radicalised me so much, it's a comprehensive look into the history of sex work and the laws that affect workers (and civilians) around the world. One of the authors, @feralmommy, is my ultimate Marxist crush.
My favourite work outfit is: a body stocking, corset and lingerie, with pink fluffy Pleasers.
My ideal date would consist of: a spa date where I am pampered and doted upon, retiring to a luxurious suite where I'm lavished with body worship until I tie my sub up in heavy bondage and I tease them with a mixture of pleasure and pain until they're completely overstimulated, followed by orgasm control. You don't finish until I say so.
If they made a movie based on my life, the movie star who should play me is: Soairse Ronan, I've been told I'm her doppelganger and it's a nod to my proud Irish roots.
Something that really annoys me is: People not respecting others’ time. It's one of the ultimate ways to offend me and I think it shows lack of care for other people.
My favourite album is: Mezzanine by Massive Attack and Ultraviolence by Lana Del Rey. I have some very precious memories attached to both of these.
Want to meet Amsterdam’s Mistress Koshka in person?
Head over to her profile! 👇👇👇
