Whores of Babylon: Creating Space for Sex Workers

Editors note: mention of violence against sex workers and the death of a peer.

"If you wanna see my tits you have to listen to my opinions" came out of my mouth the first night I hosted Whores of Babylon at The Backdoor, our local queer bar. I've said it every night since. It accidentally became my mantra to separate myself mentally from dancing in a strip club, performing for the male gaze. Multiple nights a week I will put on cis straight girl drag in order to make money, and ironically the only time I feel like I'm not performing in drag is at the gay bar. 

There's something really vulnerable about performing as yourself instead of a work persona. When I book someone for the first time, there's a moment in the dressing room where they get super nervous. It doesn't matter if they're a newbie or a seasoned vet. The freedom to truly express a real version of your sexuality, gender and politics can make you feel more exposed than any amount of nudity. Every time the response from the rest of the room is the same though, because we've all been through the same set of nerves. "You'll love it, you're gonna do great. They're not like the men at the club."

Thursday night Whores of Babylon shows exclude the jeering cis men, the fatphobic comments and threats of violence. After a slow week of little money and a lot of disrespect, it's like a sigh of relief to walk out to a room of cheering queers and weirdos, no matter what weird idea you came up with for your performance that night. Sometimes they've even been my best tip nights of the week, especially during dead season. The lineup has always and will always prioritize people who work in person and people who do criminalized work. The ability to both make money and experience genuine joy and community sometimes feels like a lifeline. The door money has typically gone to Lysistrata, as a way to further spread the love in our community. We've also raised money for Operation Olive Branch, for workers after a club raid, and contributed to funeral expenses for a local dancer. 

"If you wanna see my tits you have to listen to my opinions" came out of my mouth the first night I hosted Whores of Babylon at The Backdoor

Hosting a show explicitly by and for sex workers isn't without controversy, including being blacklisted from a few other local shows for making performers feel "not valid" by informing them that they don't qualify for Whores of Babylon on account of not being a whore. On the rare occasion that I've gotten booked for a variety show, I've been excited, but also guarded. Quite a few times, as the only whore on the roster, I've had to explain why performing "sexy drag" doesn't make you a sex worker. I've also had to explain why pole classes, student showcases, or burlesque performances don't make you a sex worker. Unsurprisingly, these same people trying to argue that they count as a sex worker have been absent from any conversations about FOSTA/SESTA or any raids on local clubs. They don't speak on any of us that are murdered or missing, but they sure pay attention to the fashion and the dance moves. Imitating us doesn't put us in community, and I definitely don't feel a sense of community with anyone who consumes sex workers in the same ways our clients do. When you learn pole dancing or stripping of any kind as an act of survival, it's a liberating feeling to finally make claim of it as your own expression. If you've had that from the beginning, you don't need access to one of the few spaces where we can do that. 

It’s incredibly upsetting when this kind of pushback comes from within my own queer community, when I know that we can all understand the deep frustration of having friends and so-called "allies" wanting to come to the parties and the parades but always being absent at the funerals and fist fights. Everyone wants to be "in", but won't get in the gutter with us when it comes to client and police violence. Even the pole studio most local to me, when they outed a friend of mine as a sex worker and absolutely wrecked her life at the time by doing so, attempted to make amends by asking us for educational labor. For years now their page has included the links to the articles I shared with them, proudly displayed with a badge saying they support sex workers. The only other contact I've had with them is them wanting to host their own show at The Backdoor. In other words, they saw a night that became a sex worker space and decided that, in addition to making their own space hostile to us, they want to come into ours as well. 

Quite a few times, as the only whore on the roster, I've had to explain why performing "sexy drag" doesn't make you a sex worker.

Our most recent show was a hard one. It was for International Day to End Violence Against Sex Workers. I had booked a lot of good friends for it, and one of them was murdered shortly before the show. She went by a few different names, but most of us there knew her and worked with her as Lana. She was beautiful inside and out. Always generous and full of love, the first thing I think of when I hear her name is her laugh.

I found it unusually hard to speak on the mic that night, as did my friend who typically assists with hosting. We had gone to the funeral together, and we both danced to one of Lana’s songs, opening and closing the night by giving her the space she should have held that night. We both felt the heaviness and I believe the crowd and staff did too. It was the most supported I've ever felt in my grief for a fellow worker and friend. Having that space for just a few hours where I knew everyone could see her humanity and ours meant so much. Feeling like a person instead of a statistic is an unfortunate rarity and one that I feel blessed to have experienced that night.

I'll end this how I try to end all our shows. Whores are holy. Don't talk to the police. Trans people will always exist. Black Lives Matter. Free Palestine. Carry narcan. I'll see ya'll at the next one.

Are you a sex worker with a story, opinion, news, or tips to share? We'd love to hear from you!

We started the tryst.link sex worker blog to help amplify those who aren't handed the mic and bring attention to the issues ya'll care about the most. Got a tale to tell? 👇☂️✨