The Myth of Ageing Out of Sex Work

It is a common refrain from those who oppose what they call ‘the sex industry’, that porn and selling sex are exclusively the domain of very young women and girls who are exploited. Those of us who engage in sex work and know other sex workers, can see from the diversity around us that this simply isn’t true, but some elements of this pervasive belief still remain.

Many of us buy into the idea that we will eventually age out of sex work or that it is only possible for our careers to last for as long as we can pass for being in our 20s. Older sex workers may seem to be rare exceptions, even at porn events or sex worker social groups. Older sex workers have different social networks, different methods of advertising, and may engage in different forms of sex work from the younger crowd. An 18 year old stripper, porn performer or full service sex worker can easily begin to feel like there’s a ticking clock on their ability to earn money.

Many of us buy into the idea that we will eventually age out of sex work...

Many sex workers do not turn selling sex, making porn or stripping into a long-term career, and instead dabble in it for extra income, or only for short periods of time when it is convenient for their life circumstances. It can be easy to image that it is age itself which causes someone to enter the industry at 18 and leave at 21, when someone can no longer be easily placed into the “teen” category on various sites, instead of considering that someone may have engaged in sex work for only those years whilst in university, or just to pay the bills while exploring life.

When so many of us believe this myth, we can’t help but perpetuate it. We fear that we will be considered too old, so we update our escorting profiles to say we’re 21 when we’re 25. That on its own is harmless, but other people see it (clients and other workers alike) and get a skewed idea of the ages of the people who are currently working. Some of us may reach our early 40s and still be claiming to be in our late 20s. Other sex workers may be older than you think!

When so many of us believe this myth, we can’t help but perpetuate it. We fear that we will be considered too old...

This idea that our ability to do sex work is fleeting and that we become undesirable in our 30s is weaponized by clients and managers to place pressure on younger people. When a young person believes they cannot afford to miss out on opportunities because that clock is ticking, they are more likely to agree to work for lower rates or to riskier behaviours than they would have otherwise.

There is a grain of truth here, that there’s a loss of earnings that comes with age when selling sex, but the loss of income is more proportional than it is catastrophically total. As with any attribute that is considered highly desirable, youth often comes with a boost in the reach of advertising and the size of the total client pool. Getting older means the loss of that extra ease of marketability. The same is true for sex workers who have a visible disability or who are fat or trans, who often have to market the exact trait that people otherwise claim is undesirable and therefore limiting to your success.

Older sex workers do not need to compete with workers who are young, and instead can prioritize advertising to clients who are already looking for someone who is mature and experienced. Looking to some of the more generic escorting or porn sites may not show a large proportion of workers above the age of 45 or 50, but we cannot be fooled into thinking this means they aren’t selling sexual services; they just aren’t advertising on those platforms.

Older sex workers do not need to compete with workers who are young, and instead can prioritize advertising to clients who are already looking for someone who is mature.

If you keep the same advertising habits for the sexual services or content you sell, you’ll be earning less at 60 years old than you did at 25, and may eventually reach a point that sex work is no longer viable as a sole income. Some people notice that the number of inquiries or video sales drop when they age and see this as a confirmation of the myth that sex workers age out of the industry.

Experience is sexy and there are clients who want it. Learning a skill and creating a persona can allow a sex worker to revitalize themselves and take on a different character during each of their life stages. That could mean moving from girlfriend experience services to dominatrix work and acting in a sort of ‘ mommy domme’ role. A role which is often inaccessible to younger workers who don’t have the age and experience to provide the fantasy. There are benefits to age, it’s not all downhill. Simply a pivot.

Whether you want to have a long career in sex work, or plan to leave it soon, knowing that the option will still be open as you age can be a great comfort. The best way to overcome the fear of aging whilst selling sex or making porn is to take the time to follow careers of sex workers who are much older than you, who are at varying levels of financial success, and networking and making friends with them. If you’re an older sex worker yourself, keep going, and show everyone how it’s done!

Are you a sex worker with a story, opinion, news, or tips to share? We'd love to hear from you!

We started the tryst.link sex worker blog to help amplify those who aren't handed the mic and bring attention to the issues ya'll care about the most. Got a tale to tell? 👇☂️✨