A New Worker Finds Their Feet in the Sex Industry

Do you remember your first day on the job?

On my first day of life as an independent escort, I placed an ad on the site previously known as Backpage. A short time later, my mobile phone copped a deluge of terrible text messages that continued for weeks: ‘hey’ and ‘what will you do for fifty bucks?’ I ignored the time wasters, waited (somewhat impatiently) for genuine clients, and eventually got down to business. When I finally started earning an income it felt like a miracle, and I was exhausted.

So when I spoke with new worker Claudia this week, I was interested to find out whether they’d had a similar experience. What’s it like starting out now, when ads have shifted from the back pages of the local paper to almost exclusively online? When everyone talks about being ‘on brand’ and a social media presence is essential?

Claudia is a newly-minted independent escort based in Melbourne, Australia. We discussed how they got their start in the industry - not just the dreaded ‘why do sex work?’ but also what the process has been like for them. We discussed the ways they’ve fitted in, and the challenges they’re adapting to.

Let’s meet Claudia, an industry newcomer

There are many stereotypes about the kind of person who chooses to become a sex worker, and none of these describe us accurately. So let’s introduce Claudia - someone who, rather than being representative of the industry in some way or another, is simply their own, unique person.

Claudia is in their early thirties and is nonbinary. Their laid-back Aussie accent is charming and puts me at ease. Claudia’s past work experience includes a decade in the corporate world. ‘I’ve had a professional career, in the traditional sense,’ they say. Perhaps this is why they’re so comfortable talking about sex work - when you’ve chaired board meetings, talking to one interviewer surely can’t feel too intimidating? As it turns out, people management is one of the many skills they’ve carried with them into the sex industry.

Unpacking the dreaded ‘why’ of sex work

At one time or another, we’ve all been asked the question, ‘Why did you decide to do sex work?’

It can be distressing. When asked the wrong way or by the wrong people, it feels as though we’re being forced to reassure the world that we don’t fit that sex-negative stereotype of the ‘desperate, miserable hooker’. But I do find a lot of value in the real stories of how we all got started, simply because they show our diversity. Whether it’s to get out of a tricky financial situation, try something new, or achieve a better work-life balance, everyone in the industry has valid reasons.

Claudia recently left their high-powered corporate role because it didn’t make them happy. ‘My previous career is something people tend to find prestigious.’ they say. ‘It was the kind of job where, if you're at a party, and you mention what you do, people are impressed.’ But they didn’t truly enjoy themselves at work. Rather, it was something they felt they ‘should be doing’.

Their adventurous sex life was a jumping-off point. ‘I'm pansexual. In terms of age, gender, and body type, I can find myself attracted to a whole range of people. I also really like trying new things…I was having a diverse range of sexual experiences with a diverse range of people. I loved it. But in a way, the novelty wore off…it became a little routine. It occurred to me that being compensated for my time could put the spark back into it. There were times when I thought, “This is something that could be turned into more than a hobby.”’

Claudia has always had a pretty open attitude toward sex and intimacy. In the absence of any shame or hang-ups about sex, it had occurred to them that sex work might be worth a try. But they hadn't had much exposure to the industry and felt it was a bit ‘impenetrable’. Without first-hand experience or connections, they were hesitant to give it a go.

Almost by coincidence, they began to build a circle of friends who were more connected with the industry. ‘I got in with a crew of people who were involved in sex work and who were very sex-positive. The stars aligned at a time when I'd gotten fed up with the corporate world.’

The recent passing of the decriminalization bill in Victoria also played a part in their decision. ‘It certainly helps that decrim is in progress…I do feel like there's a lot of movement in society at the moment toward normalizing sex work and seeing it for what it is, which is work. When you look around and see that kind of progress being reflected in law, it's pretty encouraging. Obviously, stigma still exists, but it shows that this is the way the future is headed.’

Peer support helped them navigate their first steps

Sometimes, when facing a big decision, it’s hard to make the leap...and a bit of help from your friends goes a long way.

For Claudia, being able to access accurate information was essential. Luckily, they had the opportunity to get some of their questions answered. ‘I was helping a friend out with some of the projects they were working on. And they asked me if there was any way they could help me in return. I said, “I wouldn't be comfortable asking you for this advice for free...but seeing as we’re doing a skillshare, can I pick your brains about becoming a sex worker?”’

The two sat down together and talked shop - and by the end of that first meeting, Claudia felt they were headed in the right direction. ‘This friend is very knowledgeable and very experienced in the industry…they shared so much with me. All sorts of questions - really processed-based stuff, because honestly, that's what freaks me out, way more than the concept of having transactional sex. “How do you do all the admin?” They were great at talking me through that.’

They’ve had success, but also experienced challenges

Escorting work seems natural to Claudia. ‘I feel pretty lucky to have my first ever client turn into a regular,’ they say, ‘and it's just been a consistently positive experience.’

As someone with a kink background who loves planning sexual adventures, they found sex work engaging. ‘I really enjoy facilitating experiences for people. I like chatting with someone and asking, “What are you into? What are you looking for?” And co-creating that with them. Including with people who aren't super experienced at sex.’

This ‘service top’ skill set has proved invaluable. Claudia notes that, even if you’re not necessarily into ‘hardcore’ BDSM activities, a lot of the ‘soft skills’ associated with mindful sex play are useful for any sort of human interaction. Knowing how to communicate and set clear boundaries has been really helpful for them. ‘There's so much crossover between kink, sex skills, life skills, even corporate experience. If you've ever chaired a meeting, or given a presentation, or managed a project, all of that comes in handy.’

But other aspects of the job - the ones that take place outside the bedroom - have proved more challenging. In particular, they often find themselves worrying about scheduling and planning their appointments. ‘I'm not that good at bureaucracy,’ they say. On a recent doubles booking, they misremembered the date and almost turned up to the client’s hotel a day early. ‘I had a panic attack - I had to check my emails to figure out the right date. When three people who all have busy lives coordinate a booking, I don't want to be the person that ruins it for everyone!’

Claudia is still working on their advertising and social media content. It’s ‘a bit of an edge,’ they say. Having a public presence feels complicated, as they explore questions around their identity as a sex worker. ‘I don't really regard myself as a very sexy person,’ they say. ‘I'm very sexual - I just don't see myself as sexy. My sexuality has never really been based on being conventionally attractive or seductive. So I guess the idea of trying to package myself up and promote myself feels a bit odd.’

It’s an issue many of us struggle with, especially if we don’t fit the ‘white, thin, young’ stereotype that’s often assumed to be ideal. But Claudia understands that there are many types of sex workers with diverse bodies and identities. ‘Considering the amount that I enjoy this work, I should really experiment with getting over that edge,’ they say.

Community has made a huge difference

Has Claudia told people? How have their friends reacted? There are no dramas here - thanks to their sex-positive social circle, they’ve enjoyed a level of acceptance that’s not often experienced in the wider community. ‘I do have people in my life who I can call up and say, “Nailed the booking!” So to speak. And they will totally celebrate that with me, the same way as if I'd said, “I had a big board presentation today.”’

They don’t disclose their new line of work to everyone they meet, but they’ve been pretty open. ‘I figure, if people have a problem with it, that tells me a lot about them. And they're probably not the kind of people I want to hang out with.’

‘I think I've been really lucky to have a lot of support,’ they say. ‘But I'm also pretty good at reading the room...sometimes I have a hunch that this particular person won't get it. And at that point, I'll make a judgment call about whether I have the energy to deal with that…or change the subject.’ Claudia is quick to point out that many of these people haven’t been overtly sex-negative or whorephobic - often, they’re simply unfamiliar with sex work and don’t know what to say. They might even be afraid of saying the wrong thing.

On the other hand, sometimes the topic brings everyone closer. ‘Once I mention this, it's amazing how many people have had some experience with sex work. There are a lot of people who dip their toes in the water, or maybe they're involved in sex work in a low-key way or have friends who are. Once one person in the group opens up, everyone else feels comfortable sharing too. And that can be really awesome.’

So, where to next?

Although they’re keen to share their story, Claudia is hesitant to talk too authoritatively about their adventures, because they don’t want to be seen as speaking for everyone. ‘Part of my personality is that I generally don't like positioning myself as an authority on anything,’ they say. ‘Regardless of what you're doing, everyone has such different experiences.’

Although they don’t consider themselves an authority on sex work, they are an authority on their own experiences. And it’s a journey I’ve learned from, too. Claudia’s story suggests that a cultural shift towards seeing sex work as legitimate labor can encourage those who have amazing skills for the job but are afraid to take that first step. And the skills we use may come from unexpected places - past careers, personal adventures, and the advice of friends.

‘I think, for some people, sex work can be a political choice, something that's central to their identity. For me, at least at this point, I don't really see it that way. I guess you could make the argument that doing sex work is inherently a political act, given our society and the climate. But, for me, it's pretty much just like any other job I've done - charging money for doing something that's kind of enjoyable.’

For Claudia, it is just about work - and it’s encouraging that we’re increasingly able to see sex work as a practical career choice. ‘I come out of every booking feeling pretty awesome,’ they say, ‘both in terms of my enjoyment and also the satisfaction of a job well done. It's a nice feeling to be competent.’