A Tryst With Seattle BDSM Provider Pepper LaFaye

Welcome back to our sex worker interview series 'A Tryst With'. In this instalment, we're speaking with Seattle BDSM Provider Pepper LaFaye about clowning, singing and dancing, and trauma informed BDSM.

How do you bring your own personality and style into your kink work?

Providers today need to be able to market themselves just as much as they need to provide a service. It is tempting to view every aspect of yourself as something you can sell, to view your personality in terms of a brand. It is then only logical to change bits of yourself for the market. To shear off pieces of your soul to streamline it into frictionless, broad appeal. 

The clown is not my brand. The clown is my laughter, my freedom, my truth. Ruffles and bells in a world of latex and leather. When I dress myself for work I try to find something that butters my biscuit and brightens my day, rather than going for broad appeal. The clown is chasing joy and turning back at the people desperate to feel alive, asking them to follow. Not everyone is ready to follow in the vulnerability of play–down to clown so to speak–but the people that get it really get it.

Do you have a pre or post session routine/ritual?

I made a playlist; initially it was for clients so that they could get an understanding of my mental landscape. Over time, it became something I listened to before sessions to remind myself of exactly how I want to present. To remind myself of the person that I choose to be every day, and that I really like who that person is.

Is there anything that always makes you feel powerful and grounded in your body? 

I love to dance and sing. It is something I have developed in myself since I was a child, and I am proud of my skills. It is cathartic and expressive, but it is also a performance. It can be really vulnerable to sing or dance in front of other people, it’s like saying “look at my stupid little heart and what it can do.” Even if no one is around, I’ll be there to judge myself for them. In those moments, I try to remind myself that dancing is a function of my existence the same way that the sun shines. It’s interesting how the most powerful acts can also feel the most vulnerable: the delicate yet unbreakable essence of my own heart. 

Your clownery is more than just an aesthetic. What does it address for you, and how does it relate to kink?

I’m someone who has had a complicated relationship with sex and sexual development. It was apparent in how I felt I had to perform femininity, how I felt in my experience of desirability, and also with regards to my own feelings of desiring others. Paradoxically, BDSM’s “rule-based sex”* is really freeing for me. Unspoken rules and reading body language can absolutely suck if you’re autistic–which I am. BDSM creates an environment where direct and clear communication can be seen as respectful and even sexy, and negotiation is a requirement! Oftentimes people are doing some freaky shit, and all of the parameters of that freaky shit need to be discussed before it happens. That’s awesome. I love that.

But the rules can be interpreted as inflexible expectations, and that can put pressure on subs to perform, to think “I gotta do everything right!!” That is a bad fucking time. Your fucking time? It’s gonna be bad. The clown introduces flexibility into interpreting the rules, as the clown is the opposite of inhibition and judgement. I’m a fool, you’re a fool, and if you fuck up… well, that’s the circus, baby.

*BDSM ≠ sex or penetration, however, I am generalizing a popular misinterpretation the average individual might have. 

What does laughter bring to your sessions?

Laughter can reset your “Vegas”* nerve. High roller! House always wins! 777 babyyyy!

No but seriously, having a good laugh can help your entire brain reset from a situation where you were previously getting overstimulated or hyperventilating or just really being unkind to yourself. A little levity can help people process difficult emotions and heal the sort of vulnerability and humiliation that comes with sex sometimes.

*Vagus nerve, look it up. This is a pun for my own amusement.

You practice trauma-informed BDSM. Can you tell us a little about this?

So when you go to a medical provider, if you’re lucky, they’ll talk to you about trauma-informed care, aka TIC. TIC, put simply, is recognizing that trauma can have a wide range of effects on people, and a traumatizing event can play a role in every aspect of your life afterwards. So, when a medical provider is treating you, they’re trying to be mindful of what your trauma is and how it might play a part in trying to treat you. 

I practice trauma-informed BDSM, which means I recognize that trauma can have a wide range of effects on a person, and that a traumatizing event can play a role in every aspect of your life afterwards. When I am trying to provide a service, I am trying to be mindful of what your trauma is and how it might play a part in the service I hope to provide for you. There is a possibility we could work together to help heal some of that trauma. 

As a dominatrix, I can treat your trauma in a myriad of ways that your average therapist would feel very uncomfortable and horny about. 

You mentioned kink and disability. How do these interact in your practice?

I love catering to the Disabled community as a provider of BDSM. The ugly laws may have been retired, but disabled bodies are still othered in any space that isn’t explicitly made by and for them.

Ugly laws, which prohibited people with visible disabilities from existing in public, were not repealed until 1974. Disabled people were not seen as fit for public life, let alone desirable. I believe that kink spaces have the potential to be an incredible avenue of disability advocacy. It is an arena where what is allowed to be beautiful and desirable is questioned. Where autonomy and radical acceptance are the norm. 

It’s not perfect, obviously. Any space centered around desirability brings judgement and hierarchies. As kink becomes more mainstream, it gets flattened to a select few aesthetics and services that are palatable to normies and gawkers.

In my own work, I try to find ways to make kink accessible to subs of all abilities. Like finding ways to prostrate yourself if you can’t get on your knees, or finding impact techniques that won’t wreck someone’s joints.

What are some of your favourite kinds of sessions?

My favorite kinds of sessions are the ones where I know that we’re touching on something that has been there for decades. My favorite kinds of sessions are when I feel a sleeping beast that has been long dormant is finally and violently waking. As if the mountain shifts underneath all of the dust that had settled over the years, where an individual has neglected the truth of themselves, and yet it is still there. It still breathes. 

If cracking away at the rust and dirt, revealing a sub’s pure shimmering soul, is off the table, then I love cock and ball torture. Love kicking some balls :)

What’s a fetish you love to explore with clients? Do you have any fetishes yourself? 

I have a clown kink now! I won’t say that I have any specific fetishes because I don’t think there’s anything that I require to get off besides like… a good time?? I guess I have a good time fetish? Love me a good time. I’m wet thinking about it.

Favourite album for a session?

I don’t stick to albums. I’m a playlist baddie. :) It’s just nice to curate your own vibe! I like to also make playlists for my subs if I see them a bunch because like, oh my God, that’s my homie? We’re gonna play our jams together? Hell yeah! 

What are your hobbies outside of work? Do you have any special interests?

I do karaoke a lot. I love giving people presents and I’m learning to get pretty good at it. I like leaving really fat tips. I rewatch Bones frequently and I hate it more each time but I just can’t stop watching over and over and over and

What would be the title of your memoir? Bloodsuckers and Clown Fuckers; Facilitating Bravery and Compassion in the Face of Fascism.

My favourite work outfit is: My clown nose and regalia, pasties and panties, and BIG STOMPING BOOTS. :) 

My weirdest obsession is: I find no obsessions weird. If you’re truly obsessed with something you're an evangelist for how ‘normal’ it is. 

A social cause I care about is:  I live in an immigrant neighborhood and I am fighting to protect my neighbors. 

We'll get along if: I made you laugh at any point during this interview.

Want to meet Seattle BDSM Provider Pepper LaFaye in person?

Head over to her profile! 👇👇👇

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