A Tryst With New York Escort April Flowers

Welcome back to our sex worker interview series 'A Tryst With...' We're speaking with New York and New Jersey Escort April Flowers about open-mindedness, authenticity, and cocktails!

Editors note: mentions of murder, loss of a loved one.

What’s your story? How did you get started as an escort and how’s it going?

As I lay here, 35 stories above Times Square, looking down at all the little ants scurrying around en masse chaos, I keep waiting for someone to pinch me and for the dream to be over. I’ll wake up, back in west Texas…dad’s still making his “homemade” cinnamon rolls before church. My 3 siblings and I sit around the kitchen table arguing about nothing, my mother is back in her room straightening her hair. Of course it’s Sunday. Seems like it was always Sunday. Growing up southern Baptist is a bitch when you’re… shall we say… different? Losing my family was both incredibly easier than I was prepared for and a swift kick to the ribs. It wasn’t the whole gender thing. No, that they didn’t understand at all. It was the sex work. The final straw. Ironic too. I could have sworn the whole Keanu Reeves figure in their book liked hanging out with certain kinds of people. One thing’s for sure, Keanu/Jesus knew how to party. But I digress. Let’s fast forward a bit.

April 1st 2022. The day they pulled the plug. The day I lost my best friend. I remember Leslie helping me get ready for my very first date, an outcall to the north side… an almost somber affair. She helped me with my makeup without a sound uttered between the two of us. I didn’t have much help in the beginning from Leslie or anyone else for that matter. My best friend was also a sex worker, but Leslie was adamant that she wouldn’t be left feeling that she had contributed anything to the situation if something were to happen to me. The last girl she had worked with was murdered in one of the rooms Leslie had chosen for the two of them right next to her own at a motel 6 in Florida. You could tell she held on to so so much guilt. Wouldn’t you?

I had barely left my apartment in East Houston in the 9 months I’d been there. Agoraphobia hits different when no one in your neighborhood speaks the same language. When you stand out like a sore thumb. It’s easy to isolate. In a weird way, sex work saved my life. I know it sounds cliche but truly I was in rough shape. It gave me hope. Pushed me outside my comfort zone. Made me self-reliant again.

I remember getting the text message confirming she was gone like it happened yesterday. I already knew somehow, but had brushed off the feeling, trying to keep myself busy. My first ever in-call at this seemingly fancy hotel was in the elevator when I got the call. I answered the door in tears. He was nice. Waited what seemed like ages for me to stop crying. After I couldn’t dry my eyes to save my life, he offered,“you can just keep it babe”. But I didn’t want to be alone. I somehow convinced him to stay. The distraction I honestly needed in that moment. He became my first regular.

They buried her in a suit & tie. It felt so wrong. But that’s Texas I guess. I drove to Dallas for the service but fortunately missed it. I probably would have made a scene. I couldn’t go back to that apartment because all of our stuff was mixed together. The last remnants of her. In a way her death was the catalyst for my doing this full time.

I understand why Leslie didn’t want me in this lifestyle. It's a constant struggle to keep grounded, to not become jaded. To not get bogged down by the bad. To remember the good. But a lot has changed in 3 years. I’ve been able to travel the country, meet people I’d never dreamed of meeting, stay at places I never dreamed of staying. To be who I never thought I could be. Myself. Most importantly to have done it all on my terms. Today, three years since she passed, prompting me into the full time grind that is living in hotels 24/7, I pick up the keys to my new apartment in Manhattan. I must be dreaming. Someone pinch me.

What did you find was a big learning curve for you? Was there anything you took to like a duck to water?

Everything I know about sex work comes from books, television, the interwebs (mostly Reddit), trial and error, and through stories I heard from my clientele. So basically, I knew nothing when I started (and still don’t). I told myself in the beginning I wasn’t going to do anything just because that’s the way it was done if it didn’t make sense to me. And that I would never do anything I didn’t want to do. I’ve made a lot of mistakes, but I’ve also stayed true to myself. I think a lot of what’s been hard for me is figuring out how to stay above water without compromising my values. It would be so easy to be selfish. To cut corners. There’s no better business bureau for sex workers. But I pride myself in being able to still see the good in people, to be able to find at least one thing I truly like about all my dates. To be authentically me and still make others happy.

I think the easy part was the people. I almost set up my ad to be an anti-ad. A ridiculously long hodge podge of free thought, embarrassing insights into the mind of a seemingly delusional walking, talking paradox (with a bootie). That’s what I appear to be at first glance, but beneath the facade there are layers of vulnerability. I’m not everyone’s cup of tea, but when I am, I really am. I wanted my ad to be real. I wanted people to read it and know exactly what they were getting themselves into. If I took to anything like a duck to water, it’s been connecting with people, regardless of who they were, where they were from, what their politics were like. I wholeheartedly believe that one on one, as long as I feel a level of mutual respect, that I could find common ground and feel a real connection that transcends the transactional with just about anyone.

Is there anything you think the general public should learn from trans sex workers?

I think people should realize that trans women are in fact, just women. I’m sure everyone has their opinions and personal preferences on what they want in a lover physically, and no, I don't have the same bits as cis women, but I find a lot of first time clients are surprised at how just like any other woman I am. I always used to say that unless you're my doctor or were going to f*** me, then what’s in my pants ain't your business (except now that actually is my business). Yet I'm still a woman. Being attracted to me as a straight man doesn’t make you gay. Liking men makes you gay. Full stop. If trans women are women then liking trans women just makes you, at most, open minded.

Do you find that there is a type of client who seeks you out, who you really enjoy seeing? Why do they seek you out and what do you bring to them?

To this, I have two answers. Going off of the previous question, I love first time clients, be it that first time with a provider or their first time seeing a transwoman. One of my favorite features about Tryst (and there are many, many reasons Tryst is absolutely my go to) is the flexibility of allowing me to choose if I’d like to be in the trans section solely or just in the general providers section. I don’t do anything to hide who I am, and very, very rarely do I end up in a situation where someone finds out way late to the party that I'm transgender —and it’s 100% their fault for not reading— so there’s nothing deceptive on my end. I don’t want to be in an awkward situation as much as anyone else, so there’s no bait and switch. But you'd be shocked at how many men message me and say, ‘well, I wasn't necessarily looking for a trans provider but I like your pics and profile and you seem really interesting’ or something to that effect. I find it so validating for myself as a woman when someone seeks me out first because they find me attractive and not because they just think I'm exotic.

And second, I love getting to love on those who think they're unlovable. The nerds, the geeks, my more seasoned gentlemen, as it were, the guys with more to love, the guys with smaller anatomy, the guys who are frankly too well endowed to find romantic partners. 

I find that a lot of people who message me are ashamed of some feature or part of themselves. Most are apologetic even. I don't think it's my job to judge. A lesson I once learned is ‘appreciation in all things’ and I truly believe that everyone has something about them I can appreciate. I’m sure a lot of men get turned down by providers for certain reasons and for the life of me I don't understand it. To those men, the ones who message me asking if I see older clients, clients asking if I see “AA”, clients who think they're not endowed enough or they’re too endowed, over weight, under weight, or weigh nothing at all, I’m sorry the world has taught you you aren’t enough. You are, frankly, enough, whether you like it or not, and I'm here to show you, at whatever pace makes you the most comfortable. I’ll force feed you radical self love if I have to. I find that most people feel pretty comfortable after a good portion of cuddling and snuggling up under a blanket.

Have you been welcomed or supported by your sex industry peers? Tell us about a moment you’ve had where you felt really included in the sex work community.

I wish the sex work community felt more like a community to be honest. I don't know if it’s just me being me, me coming to the game a little later in life, or if being trans has made me feel like an outsider, but I do. Which sucks because in the very rare instances I've gotten to meet other girls, they've been super supportive. The first cisgendered woman I topped post-transition was a client of mine hired to have a threesome with the two of us. I think he just ended up watching us have fun then listening to us talk for an hour. She was actually the first person to tell me about Tryst. I always say that threesomes are a little weird. Either the girls are not going to vibe and someone’s going to feel like the third wheel, or the girls get along a little too well and you become the third wheel, so be mindful of chemistry going in.

What are your top three tips for nervous first-time clients?

Be respectful. I know sometimes it's hard to find a provider who will get back to you, but one of the easiest ways to get radio silence from me  is one word texts. You don't have to sweep me off my feet with your intro. Be direct, but talk to me like a person. There’s a huge difference between those who reach out to me who are maybe a bit chatty, and those who seem to feel entitled to my undivided attention and my time. Be persistent (respectfully). There’s a difference in not getting an immediate response, and giving up, and sending a follow up text just checking in. Check for certain providers’ preferred means of communication. You’ve called me 47 times and I don't answer? Well perhaps a quick glance at my bio would reveal I prefer texting (and for several reasons). I’m not always able to respond, and as much as I’d love a secretary, I don't have one. So if at first you don’t succeed, try, try again.

Trust your provider. You’re nervous. You think you’ll do bad. Or won’t last, or won’t please your date. I promise, you’re overthinking it. Be open to change. If you come into a session with the whole thing mapped out in your head but you haven't communicated any of this to your provider you might be let down. But guess what? We do this for a living. I used to struggle with being called a “pro” but in actuality, I'm pretty good in bed, it turns out. Practice makes perfect. Let your provider guide you a little bit. Communicate expectations, but don't make demands. You'd be shocked by how little most men know about their bodies. Maybe, just maybe, you’ll get to have a new experience if you approach the situation with an open mind and perhaps learn a thing or two.

Finally, don't haggle. Be upfront about financial limitations. I’d rather find out right off the bat that you only have X dollars so I can let you know whether or not we’re going to be a good fit, as opposed to having an entire conversion just to find out I can’t accommodate you for a number of reasons. Personally, I operate in a manner of absolute discretion, and take multiple steps to do so, none of which make seeing dates below a certain threshold possible for me. There’s tons of behind-the-curtain costs and prep work I have to do that you don't realize, especially being transgender, that personally makes accommodating certain types of visits not feasible for me while maintaining a certain level of cleanliness and presentability. And on that note, don't rush me! Please!

Is there someone or something that you wished the wider community acknowledged more or knew more about trans workers?

There is no checklist for being transgender. There is no final “thing” and then you're done. You made it. Congrats, you were somehow able to complete all the hurdles and survived an “elective” 14-ish hour surgery with lots of complications, a multi week hospital stay and a yearish-long healing time. Lots of, if not most, trans girls don't get ‘the surgery’ for so many reasons. I wish so, so much, to my core, that I could snap my fingers and my downstairs mix up would un-mix itself but the truth is I am not in a place where I feel I could have the support I need to survive bottom surgery. And that’s ok. I’m just as valid in my womanhood as any one else. “You cant have children”, well neither can a lot of women and you will never understand the depths of the pain that brings myself, and other women who cannot have kids. “You don't get periods”, well not necessarily true, and yes I don't have ovaries but you try going through a second period, or tucking 24/7, or dealing with the social status spiral that is becoming a trans woman in America. I dress like a woman, I am not listened to like a woman, I have no public personal space bubble as women do not, I fear for my safety going out after dark like 99% of women do (especially in NYC)… how many hoops must we jump before “looks like a duck” is applicable?

How does your trans identity intersect with your sex work?

Well in a lot of ways it really is a blessing. I don’t think I’d stand out quite so much if I was cisgendered. But honestly, I wish it didn’t have any influence on my work. The reality is that in a lot of ways, being trans is looked upon almost with an air of exoticism. I don’t really tolerate that. My favorite interactions are ones where I feel like the client treated me like any other woman. I don’t really top at all. I love feeling cared for by men, love feeling like a snack. But it does change things a bit. And in a lot of ways give myself the ability to stand out from the crowd. But we’d be joking if we said that I was everyone's cup of tea. Or that I haven’t experienced discrimination or bigotry or hate for my transness, or lost potential clientele. You just learn to keep your chin up and try not to become jaded.

Has your work impacted your relationship with your gender and/or your presentation?

I would say I’d like to think I’m just like any other girl, but I think our society is still struggling with that concept. Sex work has definitely made me more self conscience about my appearance and has defintely influenced it. But I’d like to think I haven’t let it affect my identity as a woman (who happens to be trans). Have there been times when I lowered medication doses to accommodate my noticeable struggle with my sex drive? Sure, and I deeply regret those times. I’ve had clients steal purses from me with my hormones in them (more than once), which really really sucks. 

Unfortunately, sex tourism and especially pornography as industries have been particularly underhanded to trans women, especially in regards to the general consumer's expectations. Yes I have a certain anatomical feature. Is it my favorite feature? No. Is it an erogenous zone I don’t like to be left out of the equation entirely? Yes. Is it “fully functional”? No. It can be, but so much of what you see in porn is not realistic or a reasonable expectation to have with any trans woman. 

Are there providers who are “functional”? Yes. Is this the norm? Not from my experience, at least with girls on hormones. Are hormones necessary to make a person trans? No. But hormone replacement therapy (HRT) has been hugely helpful to so many transwomen. It sucks that so many trans sex workers feel they have to forgo hormones to do the work. I'll give you this for a little perspective. My testosterone levels should be in the 700s to 800s for my age. The mature men they advertise to about low T pills (“by the way, she’ll like it too *wink*”) who have low T (low testosterone) is something every man eventually goes through to some degree. They typically have a T count that falls below 400, 300, even in the 200s. This is typically the low T threshold, from my understanding. My very first time getting my levels checked my T count was 19. That’s one nine. Nineteen. I promise I’m not holding out on you. If I wasn’t such a deviant to begin with this work would be impossible entirely.

Do you have a favorite book by a trans author? Is there a book or writer you wish non sex workers would read?

I don't have a favorite trans author per se. But I do have a short book list for anyone looking for recommendations. Transgender History: The Roots of Today's Revolution by Susan Stryker. Black on Both Sides: A Racial History of Trans Identity (not the Mos Def album, though I also recommend that) by C. Riley Snorton. And Miss Major Speaks: Conversations With a Black Trans Revolutionary by Toshio Moronek & Miss Major Griffin-Gracy.

You’re a sommelier and craft cocktail bartender. Can you tell us your favorite cocktail, either to make or to drink?

I was almost a somme. Covid ruined that dream, but I did study the complexities that constitute alcoholic beverages in many forms, and honestly my favorite drink to make for someone else is the right drink. I’ve been to two dozen distilleries, more breweries than I can count, tasted countless spirits, and thousands of wines. At the end of the day, I like making the drink that makes people the most happy. I’ve made clarified stirred daiquiris, then garnished them with gummy worms because, why wouldn't I? Elote cocktails, cocktails with fermented crab soy sauce, classic cocktails, met the people responsible for creating some of the neoclassic cocktails I've come to love. I was even written up once in a Texas newspaper for a Malort cocktail (if you know, you know).

Currently, I don't drink. Not for any reason other than I just kinda don't. Except when I fly, in which case I'll have two Dewars White Labels in the bottle please, no ice, and yes I'll take a chaser, I'm gonna need it.

What do you like to do in your spare time?

Wait… you guys have spare time…? Jokes aside, after being a full time touring sex worker for almost 4 years now, I’m finally settling down in an apartment in uptown Manhattan in April. I’m excited to shift my work to a more outcall-focused persuasion and restructuring my business model to shift some of the costs that have been killing me out in the open. I’m hoping to start graduate school in the next year or so. Foster some kittens. Fight fascists. Knit.

What would be the title of your memoir? NAKED & AFRAID: The High Life and Fast Times of April D. Flowers as told by April D. Flowers

My ideal date would consist of: I’d have to say April 25th because it's not too hot, not too cold. All you need is a light jacket.

My dream vacation is: Skiing for three weeks across France, Switzerland, Italy & Austria. At some point, I'm being chased down the slope by an evil zombie Mickey Mouse on a snowboard but before we make it to the bottom of the mountain, I wake screaming, “no! Not my gum drop buttons!” Every. Time.

My greatest turn-on is: When I get stuck trying to remember where I am in the web of side stories and digression that is me telling a story, and someone gives me a summary of everything I just said in reverse. I get so wet. Honestly.

One of my favorite albums is: The three ring binder I had as a kid with all my Pokémon cards in it. I had so many holographic Charizards. It was tits.

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