You've successfully subscribed to Tryst Blog
Great! Next, complete checkout for full access to Tryst Blog
Welcome back! You've successfully signed in.
Success! Your account is fully activated, you now have access to all content.
A Tryst with Melbourne Dominatrix Paz Bizarre

A Tryst with Melbourne Dominatrix Paz Bizarre

. 16 min read

Here at Tryst we believe that listening to the voices of Sex Workers is not only important but vital to moving towards a better society at large. Whether you're a curious client or the good pal of a Sex Worker, join us as we bust Sex Work myths, explore the many ways in which the Sex Industry has evolved and dive into the practical advice for newbies and those trying to help Sex Workers. Today we chat to Melbourne Dominatrix Paz Bizarre!  

Tell us your story, how did you get into the industry and what has your journey looked like thus far?

Shortly after my 18th birthday, I got a job as a brothel manager at the Splash club in Wellington, NZ. I believe this normalised the industry for me. It helped that I was living in a house of sex worker librarian academics too! I learnt the ins and outs, how to deal with clients and also observed that the prettiest girls weren’t necessarily the busiest girls. It was like a crash course in the sex industry! Mostly I learnt about clients/ how to manage them/ their fantasies/ what made them tick/ what put them off / how to talk up a girl/ how to hustle. In NZ, you really have to 'sell' the girls. I would keep these little cue cards on each girl and intimately get to know them & be able to speak about them and I was really very good at my job! Which is why it never occurred to me to 'jump the counter' so they say. Again, it's different in brothels in NZ; It was MY job to talk with the clients and I, in essence, 'matched' them with the brothel worker. Then it was up to the worker and their interaction as to whether the client would return. Usually, the matchmaking went well & everyone was happy.

I've tasted a lot within the industry; Stripping, sugaring, lifestyler BDSM to Pro BDSM in Berlin/Sydney/ Glasgow & now Melbourne. Burlesque & cage dancer/ Hostess in Tokyo! I found this very similar to being a brothel manager actually-except drinking alcohol was involved and I'm a lightweight. Essentially it was talking/ flirting with the men at the bar. Maybe a graze on the knee, that kind of thing. Once I got wasted on tequila shots and stripped on a stripper pole and sprayed champers on myself & the audience but I tell you that was NOT allowed. I nearly got fired for that one! It was all very juvenile and about innuendo at the bar I was hostessing at, but ridiculously good income - and I met some fun Yakuza.

Brothel manager to brothel worker. Independent worker. Camming & phone sex. Never thought I’d go online, but COVID-19 caused me to pivot and offer distance domination. I really enjoyed the exposure and reach to clients in New York and Germany, as I could no longer tour. YES Im privileged as a sex worker. However, I always educate even when well meaning vanilla friends express ‘oh but you’re a Dominatrix!  You’re high end!! It's not the same thing!’ Yes it might not be the exact same thing, but it doesn't make for my superiority. It’s an umbrella term for a reason. And once a whore always a whore, isn’t that what they say? ;-)

I do vanilla work on and off throughout. I play music and found earning a living doing it took the joy out of it - so sex work keeps me sane really.

Thanks to SW, I have lived and traveled all over the globe.  It’s been a wild ride! Now I'm in Melbourne for the foreseeable future where decriminalisation will be rolling out in 2023, and hopefully better times! I strive to be a part of that change and dismantle the stigma which comes with our label.

How has the industry changed since you started?

I'll start with what I perceive as the 'bad' and end on a positive note.

When I started I had an ad in the newspaper for clients. I also very organically found sugar daddies through travel lounges/just being myself, doing my hobbies. Clients used to gift large sums of money won at the casino and diamond necklaces and there were fringe benefits like apartments and ..a lot of luxury (I'm not actually a luxurious person- but it was fun to be ‘fancy’ for a time).

My submissive in Berlin melted gold for me and mortgaged his home for me.  I had deep friendships with my clients. Now many peers ask me how I ‘got them’ & it was as natural as myself doing my thing in the world and us igniting a spark! I never once put up an ad on a website for a sugar daddy. But I guess that's the way people do it now from what I hear.

I feel it’s become less lucrative and male clients expect more for less (only speaking about Australia, however you can still make the same bank in London or similar cities). While I still get spoilt, the emotional labour has increased tenfold (I believe that’s a reflection of our truly disconnected society and it manifests in the work we do as erotic labourers).

You have to hold someone’s attention as the industry has become so oversaturated with the internet and normalisation of sex work. Also, I used to have much longer term clients. I still do, but in the past I would ONLY see clientele with the view for long term engagements (spanning 2 yrs +). If I did that now, I'd simply be out of work! While I prefer deep connection with my clientele, some people just want a once-off and it’s become so common now.

I mean there’s just so much CHOICE now. I don’t begrudge people variety but my preference is just to go deeper. We also see this in dating too; short attention spans/ ghosting/ lack of etiquette etc. The industry is just an amplification and reflection of how society is changing for better or worse.

As a BDSM practitioner, there are less brick and mortar dungeons (many have closed since I began). I was fortunate to gain my apprenticeship in Berlin, Germany. There’s not enough scope and only ONE dungeon left in Melbourne. I think it’s really important to learn from a Pro-Domme. It’s like nursing or teaching, you can’t just do an online course, it’s the experience that gets you there. You must put theory to practice. I'm always learning. I think the pivoting has amplified and the wearing of all the hats (making your website/ brand/ online platforms/ + your service/ promotion/ taxes/ etcetc) has changed significantly since I started.

In the past you’d fly me to London and we’d party together in your private dungeon. Now I have to advertise that shit and make a website and dammit treat it like a business -which I do, but it WAS more fun when it was less strategic, I'll be honest. I literally just wanted to pay my student loans and seeing as I was a kinky bitch from age 14, it made sense to me to walk around nude or in my underwear doing sexy things. It started out as ‘fun’ and then became more meaningful and then I realised it was a savvy career move that I was BANGING at. I know I could just hire ppl to do the boring shit for me (have had slaves in the past) but who’d have thought? I'm a dominatrix & CONTROL FREAK ———ba dum tss

The good=

The sheer amount of diversity! I used to think I couldn't be a ProDomme cos Im TINY (142cm to be exact). I am a low-key hippy and just didn't see myself in the 'image' of the Sex worker, and that's even from working in a brothel as soon as I legally could!

Now you can have furries/ plus size/BBW/ non gender conforming/ tattoos- THE LIST GOES ON! More on this later*

The amount of peer advocacy groups and online support in Australia. I feel like AU & NZ were waaaay behind. And now even in Lockdown, I was conversing with peers every week on zoom, it's great! There was much more segregation and less camaraderie when I started out.

The double edged sword of the interwebs is that I DO get some pretty wonderful subs and slaves in NYC! It's a powerful tool... use it wisely

What are some of your hobbies and interests outside of work?

Being a highly passionate INFJ, my hobbies and interests often change A LOT! However, these are the ones that have stayed with me consistently the past couple of decades:

  • I DJ every day- drum and bass!
  • I play rock & pop songs on the ukulele
  • I'm into graffiti, street art
  • Exploring abandoned buildings,
  • Sex & fetish parties
  • I write a lot
  • I'm a Buddhist & meditate daily
  • I practice magic & Wicca
  • Medicinal marijuana and anything to do with it
  • Psychedelics
  • I love cooking & entertaining & mostly just hang with my friends
  • I volunteer in healthcare and as a crisis support worker
  • Pre covid, I travel to Africa, Thailand or Indonesia and teach or offer lessons & lunches at schools for impoverished children -Travel to far flung places in general (not the hotel/resort kind. I like chilling with the locals kind)
  • I love weightlifting, the gym & staying fit & strong
  • I'm a massive introvert though so I always go to the party, rarely at the kick on. I'd rather go home to my Tonkinese cats & get high & play with them after the gig!
  • Being a mum with neurodivergent kids is really awesome and rewarding for me. Im only a slave/bitch to my children!! Haha!
  • Academia particularly gender studies and human rights issues
  • Anime & Manga
  • Dancing like no one’s watching
  • Space. Tell me you aren’t fascinated by Black Holes? I can literally bend my mind about that shit until 3am if I let myself

Is there a book, tv show, or movie that has had a significant impact on your life? What was it, and what did it teach you?

So many! Difficult to choose. DBZ: the strongest man (Goku) can cower to the Alpha female (ChiChi) Avatar; the last Airbender: to stay true to your principles and values. The Legend of Korra : you can endure hard things

Books: The Essential Rumi; mindfulness and life and anything by Eckhart Tolle, particularly A new Earth (at one stage of my career, each client who saw me HAD to have a copy of this gifted as part of my service, for our journey together); taught me to stay present and that most of what we worry about is meaningless

Cal Newport: Deep work and digital minimalism - taught me that society is FUCKED. Jokes. It gave me permission to acknowledge my resistance to the time suck nonsense that is social media. It also taught me to convert direct and explicit emails with real value and it’s the reason I’m a gangsta mum with swagga cos I get more shit done just cos I’m not scrolling through a feed or posting up some pics waiting for likes like a cocaine-starved rat.

ANYTHING by Ester Perrell; vanilla sex has always turned me off. I look for something deeper. That's why I reinvented myself as fetish practitioner. You can have sex and feel absolutely nothing. That's so heteronormative for it to be 'put penis in vagina and cum'. For me, sex is erotica. A place of pleasure you go to. It might be sharing a deep conversation, a meal, enjoying music or vulnerability that does not involve penetration at all. If you're chasing an orgasm, that's fine, and it might not happen with me, or it might, but that's not the point.

I strive to take you somewhere new.

That's what Ester gave me permission to do.

As sex workers, we face many challenges. What are some issues you care about, and how do you think your clients can help sex workers and become better allies?

I advocate for decriminalisation and this is largely my focus in the academic world. I am fortunate to be friends and acquainted with a few of my clients' partners. It’s great to have that link. I wish individuals were more transparent about going to see a sex worker. Normalising this, I feel, would assist with the stigma. If you hear someone use the word ‘prostitute’, correct them (just like I correct ppl when they assume all clients must be ‘old/ desperate/ lonely/ losers’). Discourse is important. Education is important. Call yourself a feminist , and act like one! CALL PEOPLE OUT, EARLY AND OFTEN.

I do a lot of voice work and often say to my clients ‘don’t hold it in! Let OUT that groan or moan! RELEASE IT!’ Same with this, don’t keep it inside, channel it, release it, take action. Growl! Roar! SPEAK UP. Otherwise you’re part of the problem (and have to make a session with me to release your throat chakra-haaaaaa).

Why do you think it is important for sex work to be decriminalised and how do you think it would change the way you work?

Firstly , it would change everything! Secondly, as a fetish provider, it would mean I could have my own incall and not have to lug whips, chains, crops and strap-ons all over the place. Additionally, I often get asked to mentor or take on an apprentice; under punitive Victorian licensing laws, this is considered illegal. It would be great to train some budding apprentices! People ask me and I wish I could accommodate their requests. Under decrim, I would be able to pass on my knowledge.

I could write a book on the WHY. However, to sum it up, non-specific to myself, decriminalisation is important because it would give sex workers legal protections and the opportunity to work safely. Like any other worker.

I would not work from a brothel dungeon part-time, I would have my own dungeon. That's a gamechanger.

What’s one myth about Sex Work you’d like to bust?

That we objectify ourselves and are exploited. I want empowerment for us all, not welfare.

It's really not seeing the bigger picture when 2ndwave feminists say we are yielding to the patriarchy. Tbh, if it weren’t for the patriarchy, I'd be out of a job I love.

Look I’m not wanting to push back feminism 50 yrs, however having a go at SW's is merely ignoring the underlying issues.

I have agency. This is my choice. It may not be yours.

We do not all come from broken homes. That's some stereotypes for you! My family knows what I do and my parents love me deeply & my mum is my biggest fan! After I had a baby, she told me not to retire when I considered it encouraging me to 'do it until you're at least 50!' NORMALISE that shit.

What would you say to someone considering going into the industry?

You missed the boat! Ha. Jokes. Sort of.

I've discussed this with colleagues numerous times. I used to say it was the BEST industry and if I had a daughter I would be her mentor. You’ve got to understand. I went into this industry when anything less than $2000 on an 8hr shift was ‘bad’ and you didn’t even have to hustle. Some peers & I joke about how ‘you just had to show up & have a pulse, and that would do!’

Now you have to have Twitter, and network and promote yourself whether at a brothel or privately. A part of me dislikes that. Only because I just dislike social media in general; I don’t have FaceBook/Instagram/whatever those platforms are-I believe they’re inherently a narcissistic waste of time and have created more disconnection in society (Cal Newport eat your heart out). However I accept that is part of the way the industry, and indeed EVERY industry has evolved. TBH this is the climate here, not in Europe. I think I'm a bit oldschool in most ways (vinyl over mp3s/ paper & pen over electronics/ books over tv), and Europe suited me in that regard.

So, find a way to make tech work for YOU, even if it’s minimally (like myself). And that’s the same for all of your systems. The way you take bookings, intro, how you work in every facet; don’t unconsciously copy someone else; try different ways and find what works for you. I always say ‘I don’t manage my time, I manage my ENERGY’. If you love Insta, then get on that shit! For me, it burns me out & according to my niche, they’re not on there anyways. Have a strategy and review it often after trialing it. Track its success.

Now… I would also say..invest early, work towards something, keep clear goals, make a product of your vibe & your services and …don’t do a Will Smith and spend it all!

Boundaries, boundaries, boundaries. Implement them early and often. Intuition has been the main reason I've lasted in the industry- whether that’s noticing an opportunity, taking a risk, or declining a booking; NEVER underestimate your gut. And…people remember how you make them feel (so make them feel good).

Don’t engage in conflicts of interest (ie. don’t get a lawyer client friend, pay for your own lawyer). Learn how to throw a punch, pull off an ear, and RUN. SAFE SEX ALWAYS. I don’t care how much someone offers; your health is your wealth.

It’s similar to other occupations where you need to keep abreast of the occupational changes, laws/legislations & tech. Keep upleveling and upskilling. I am always learning.

Also, I don’t know who needs to hear this, but get your taxes sorted! I have always been a creative freelancer in one way or another so always paid my taxes though a shocking amount of colleagues I have worked with past & present haven’t; just take control of your finances or your finances will take control of you. And isn’t that what we all want ? Freedom.

I said I'd bring this up again and that's DIVERSITY. This is important. Don't get in a scarcity mindset, there's something for EVERYONE. I went into the industry thinking I'd have to look like a barbie doll and god help me cos I'm a flat chested hippie, pure-blooded Greek with Kate Moss teeth and strange hobbies.  I used to wear 'dresses' (shudder) and a wig because I thought clients 'wouldn't like me with my short hair' and when someone would take me on a dinner date to a steakhouse, I wouldn't object. I'd just not eat. THEN this amazing thing happened and I found THERE WERE MORE THAN 3 TYPES OF Whores in the whole wide world. I realised, no I did NOT have to wear that wig ...I COULD tattoo my body without caring about 'loss of income'. I COULD play drum and bass in session cos THAT'S the music I love and that makes me personally wet and vibing! I COULD be myself and say 'hey, I'm a vegan so can we please not go to the steakhouse/ I don't agree with mindless consumerism so can you not buy me that brand; they're unethical/if you get me that fancy gift, I'm probably going to sell it and buy dnb tunes instead....' AND GUESS WHAT? They came! The clients came! Slowly at first, and then in droves.

Keep your boundaries while being yourself. Let your essence come through. Some clients might like girls who are meek/wear summer dresses/know the difference between french champagne and passion pop (I don't- champagne is meant for enemas and being sprayed on your tits/a disobedient subs eyes as far as I'm concerned)- that's g. Let them choose THAT provider. Your people will come. Innuendo intended.

Just be yourself. Do you.

Also Self care is numero uno.

What do you think the public could learn from Sex Workers?

Emotional intelligence, boundaries, negotiating consent , empathy to name a few, presence, intuition & open mindedness.

Don’t be an ageist! Beauty fades and is not a priority. It's FREE to be nice! As in, we generally don't give a toss about your looks or age. But if you're a decent, kind human, that will lead to a lot of great sexual experiences!

I regularly give my straight friends advice about how to best manage a UTI/ Thrush/ how to get a stuck tampon out and anything to do with STI's.

I think when I was younger I was more invested in someone's looks and or ambition. Now I just ask myself in my personal relationships 'are they kind? Is there mutual trust/care/love and respect?' Yes, that is more important than their bank balance or if they're a Calven Klein model.

(To more superficial things like the best local hotels/ what champagne makes the best enema/ how to draw killer winged eyeliner/how to fake snorting a line of coke- yeah I know right?! Most of us DONT like to do drugs while we work-Paz B dropping truth bombs all over Melbourne town)

Basically, if in doubt, ask a sex worker!

What would your dream date look like?

An androgynous woman like Shane from the ‘L’ word. Or my ex in Glasgow (a tall heavily tattooed muscular woman). We would dance at a Dnb gig really high on edibles and or shrooms, play sex games and tease each other all night before going into an alleyway or creepy abandoned building and have crazy, wild sex. But I think there'd have to be at least 8 people cos I like group sex. I'd be topping of course. Can we do that?

Then again, I'm also in a big phase where I'm destigmatising being single. A dream date could also be hanging out with a monk like Ajahn Brahm and asking him all of my questions. Deep conversations really turn me on. Dancing and conversation, those things get me off.

My favorite scent is: Jasmine! Anything to do with it! It reminds me of when I lived in Asia & LUSH do some great vegan scents loaded with Jasmine.

My favorite restaurant is: Yullis vegan restaurant in Sydney, hands down

If you were to buy me a drink at a bar, you should buy me: A beer

My favorite thing to be gifted is: From clients; cash or cooked vegan meals. From people in my personal life: playlists, vinyl, records or DJ sets- but really 'presence' over 'presents'

A social cause I care about is: Anything to do with children rights, LGBTQI+ rights, sex worker rights, or single mother advocacy (note not single parent as women are labelled doubly deviant with a single parent status). Quite a few; I’m a passionate advocate. About 40% of my time is allocated to voluntary & philanthropic efforts. DONT USE ANIMAL CRUELTY PRODUCTS Y'all! = + ZERO WASTE ALSO (check out crueltyfreekitty blog).

Want to meet Melbourne Dominatrix Paz Bizarre in the flesh? Head over to her Tryst profile! 👇👇👇

Paz Bizarre • Tryst.link
Paz Bizarre is a female Escort from Melbourne, Victoria, Australia. ❤ “Petite Pegging Queen – Miss Paz Bizarre wants you to experience her girl-cock ! See Miss at... California Club a hotel or your apartment... Or let’s enjoy the dungeon at...”