A Tryst With Manchester BDSM Provider Ami Fae (Cyber Harlot)

Hello again! Thanks for joining us for our sex worker interview series, A Tryst With... Today we chat with Manchester BDSM Provider Ami Fae, aka Cyberharlot, about "rights not rescue" and pink sparkly playrooms!

Can you tell us your ‘origin’ story as a sex worker?

I started as a cam girl pretty much as soon as I was old enough to do so! I’ve always been drawn to the idea of full freedom and autonomy, and I remember seeing sex workers in films and TV years ago, and thinking how powerful they must feel to command respect like that. When I first started a lot of the resources available online now weren’t there, so I very much had to learn on the job! I think my work in kink spaces was just a natural progression as I developed my own lifestyle and tastes. 

What's one change you would like to see happen within the sex industry?

If I could wave a magic wand then I’d want to see full decriminalisation of sex work globally. It’s so important that we as sex workers can safely access support and be safe to just exist doing the work that we do. The stigma and criminalisation causes so much harm to consenting adults. I’m a firm believer in rights not rescue and our autonomy to make our own choices with our own bodies. 

What are some skills you’ve developed through your time as a sex worker? What are their broader applications in the civvie world?

Being a sex worker has allowed me to develop so many skills that I apply in the civvie world often. By day I’m a PhD researcher, and I think if I had never gone into sex work years ago, then I wouldn’t have the communication and organisation skills that I rely on daily. It’s also been an incredible way to learn to set and uphold my own boundaries – I was super shy before I started sex working and got taken advantage of in a lot of civvie jobs – and now if it’s not worth my time, I simply won’t do it. The confidence I’ve gained doing this work has changed my life!

What has sex work taught you about yourself?

Sex work has taught me a lot about myself: that I’m more independent than I could have imagined, that I’m capable of more than I ever imagined, but most importantly it’s led me to a community that taught me that I do belong and that I am loved. That’s been so important to my development as a human being.

Have you had a moment where you felt really included in the sex work community?

I love the sex work community and I’m so lucky to have friends who do the same work that I do. I worked on a documentary recently about my experiences as a sex worker and our community needs, and I was able to meet some really incredible people through doing that. They were all so welcoming and warm and despite the fact I’d never met them in real life before, it felt like we already knew each other because we all had this one thing in common. I’ve never met a sex worker that I didn’t instantly love, and being part of this community has had such a positive impact on my life.

How do you bring your own personality and personal style to your kink work?

I think it’s important to be genuine in kink work, so I always try to bring my own personality out through my work – either through my preferred practices or just the aesthetic of how I present myself and my space. A lot of my kink work and play practices follow a power play dynamic, and I really enjoy the psychology of playing into a fantasy, so dressing up is usually a core component too! It’s a good way for me to incorporate my usual interests into my sex work.

Tell us about your workspace. How do you set up your playspace for maximum fun and enjoyment?

My workspace is a pink playroom! I like to keep the decor to match the vibe of the services I provide, so it’s a lot of soft furnishings and glitter backdrops. I like to keep my space as organised as possible so everything is easily accessible when I work – I’ve got hooks on the walls to hang up the most important things like paddles and rope, and I keep my outfits co-ordinated by theme so they’re easier for me to get to in a hurry. It’s so important for my space to be comfy and cute, so I like to have a lot of blankets and pillows around – and of course some fairy lights!

Is there a piece in your BDSM working wardrobe that you just love?

I have a pair of baby pink faux leather bunny ears that I bought myself with one of my first paydays back when I started. They’re sentimental to me and a little bit lucky. I’ve never had a bad work day when I’ve had them on!

What’s your favorite book, movie, or TV show on/or including sex work? 

I love the tv series Harlots, it’s a historic drama set in a brothel in the east end of London, following the lives of the girls working there against a backdrop of two warring brothel houses. It scratches the itch for historic dramas with sex workers that aren’t all doom and gloom and victimization. The costumes are also beautiful! I’m easily sucked in by beautiful costuming. If I had to describe it simply, I’d say it’s Secret Diary of a Call Girl meets Bridgerton. I’m obsessed!

What’s your favorite way to relax and recharge after a long week?

I love having really hot bubble baths nearly every day to relax. I think it’s so important that we take good care of ourselves and there’s nothing wrong with pampering yourself! I make sure to take a day off each weekend to recharge and see my friends, catch up on the books I’ve been reading, take my cats for a walk, or go wild swimming! I’m really into medical history at the moment, so I’ve been getting to as many museums as I can.

The way for a client to win me over is: be kind and genuine!
My dream vacation is: Reykjavík, Iceland.
My favorite everyday pleasure is: hot bubble baths and cuddles with my cats.
The dorkiest thing about me is: I collect shojo manga - my favourite is NaNa.
My favourite album is: Choose Your Weapon by Hiatus Kaiyote
My social handles are: @cyberharlot_ (SFW) / @ami_fae_ (NSFW)

Photos by JPA Photographer (@photographer_jpa)

Want to meet Manchester BDSM Provider Ami Fae in person?

Head over to her profile! 👇👇👇